July 03, 2006

The Official Hantu Bola Glossary

Not long ago, someone left a comment saying that he did not know what the word 'KAYU' meant. In view of all the nonsense that we tend to come up with here and some of the made up jargon we have here, I felt compelled to help out readers like that, who don't know that Kayu means wood.

Thus, it is with great pleasure that I present to you the OFFICIAL HANTU BOLA GLOSSARY OF TERMS, consisting of all the nonsense we've managed to make up in the first six months of this blog's existence.

Bandwagonist: Football 'fans' who paraded around in Liverpool jerseys in the 80's, Manchester United jerseys in the 90's, Arsenal jerseys in 2003, and now proudly proclaim themselves to be Chelsea fans 'all their lives'. Also known to support Brazil.

Chakri: A restaurant in Mont Kiara Plaza which is used when we cannot get a table at Souled Out.

Chelsea Prayer: What Tigerjoe recites to prevent karma from biting his backside. (REF: 1)

Croucherena: Patented Hantu Bola dance. See also 'Tigerjoe Celebration Dance' (REF: 1, 2)

Doi-Doi Crybaby: Official Hantu Bola nickname for the wanker called Christiano Ronaldo, a player so despicable that even Manure fans hate him (REF: 1, 2, 3)

Do a Shebby: To offer 'expert' analysis while giving the impression that you really do not know how to offer expert analysis

Green fanta: The official drink of choice for trolls who were not even born the last time Liverpool won the league.

Hantubola Ghost: This blog's official mascot. Created using the all-powerful MS Paint by Vincent (REF: 1)

Hantu Keciks: People with too much time on their hands, and spend it writing for Hantu Bola (REF: 1)

Head Hantus: The three founders of Hantu Bola - vincent, eyeris and tigerjoe. Usually found half-drunk at Souled Out during big matches involving Chelsea, Liverpool or Manyoo.

Hicktown: Where Vincent is stuck currently, leaving the Scousers to run riot in Hantu Bola.

Hubcap stealers: Liverpool Supporters (also see 'Scouse Scum') (REF: 1)

iGallop: Hantu Bola's favorite commercial. Also Tigerjoe's favorite position. (REF: 1)

Kayu: Literally means 'Wood'. also a term of endearment given to really stupid referees/keepers/players/fans....

Mabuk Bola: What Hantu Bola gatherings usually degenerate into by the time the match is over. (REF: 1)

Manure: One of the most common forms of address given to Manchester United and scum who support the club.

Mickey Mouse Cup: The only trophy Manure managed to win in the past few years (REF: 1)

Mr. K: a.k.a. Mr Karma. Antyyk's favorite drinking mate, whom he refers to as a 'he' despite Karma being a LADY. (REF: 1)

Newcastle Comedy Club: Term of endearment given to Newcastle United. Originated from Guardian's The Fiver (REF: 1)

Non-Issue: the formerly invincible club called Arsenal, now considered inconsequential to any sort of title races. (REF: 1)

Overhyped Chipmunk: A certain chubby striker who somehow inexplicably managed to blubber his way into becoming the World Cup's top scorer. Also known as Chubby Ron

Referee Kayu: Hantu Bola's official battle cry. Also used to address really kayu referees like Chris Foy, Steve Bennett and Graham Poll.

Scouse Scum: Vincent's favorite phrase, often used because he has no one else to talk to about Manure.

Shebby: Hantu Bola's favorite pundek (REF: 1)

Shebby-fied: A comatosed state of mind one ends up in after listening to mind-boggling match analysis offered by someone Doing a Shebby.

SOULed Out: Restaurant in Sri Hartamas, and Hantu Bola's favorite haunt (despite us never being able to get a table there), mostly because we left a bottle of Jameson whiskey there.

Template: Something the Head hantus are not very good at fixing (REF: 1)

Tigerjoe Celebration Dance: Somewhat obscene dance consisting of shaking hips and raised arms that Tigerjoe does when Chelsea score a goal. Sometimes conducted on a chair, depending on how much Jameson whiskey he's had. Known to only Tigerjoe as the 'Victory Dance'.

WFKAR: a.k.a. Wuss/Wanker Formerly Known As Robben. (REF: 1)

No comments: