November 26, 2009

November 25, 2009

How to shut the gob of irritating Manure fans, once and for all

1. Give them gay boyz a Glasgow Grin. There are two ways to do this:
a. Cut off one inch of each side of the lips than kick his crotch. When he screams, his face will split.
b. Cut either side of the lips until ear-lobes, so the scar (if he lives) would look as if he's smiling all the time.

2. Tie them to a tree, naked. Give them nicks all over the body with a knife. Dump them into bathtub filled with hot water and salt.

3. Put him and a bear into a gunny (sp) sack.Tie the sack. Throw the sack into the ocean while they're still alive. Let them kill each other.

On second thoughts, that's cruelty to animals. So let's put two Manures in there.

4. Get them into a bath. Put on Red Nose's hairdryer on and drop it into the bath

5. Send them to an abandoned warehouse where the welcoming committee consists of Riise, Pennant, Carragher, Robbie Fowler, Sktel, Voronin - all bearing a crowbar and a cricket bat or two.

6. Lock them in either MO's or SAF's stable and get the horses to bugger them. Then again, being Manures, they'd probably enjoy it.

7. Tie them upside down in an abandoned warehouse and let them listen to Mariah Carey, Michael Bolton and Celine Dion non-stop.

8. Take them to a graveyard. Get them to dig a grave and toss them in alive.

9. Send them to an Amway seminar.Or Asia Works.

10. Put them in a cell with Cristina Ronaldo and David Beckham. The first's endless whining and sissy fits combined with the latter's weedy voice would cause slow, torturous death.

November 22, 2009

happy chappies


See Michael Essien.
See Michael Essien smile.
See Michael Essien smile with Florent Malouda.
See Michael Essien smile with Florent Malouda as they jog behind Joe Cole.

See the fellows who look after business while Lampard, Ballack, Deco and Drogba are on MC.

Now let's give a big round of applause to Sunderland. Not only did they beat Arsenal this weekend, they are also level on points with Liverpool.

Now let's point and laugh at Liverpool. Heheheh.

November 10, 2009

Oit! Liverpool Fans!

This man owns the team you almost lost to tonight. That was no penalty. Memang the referee kayu.


The Liberace of Hong Kong.
Mat Bulu.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

November 04, 2009

LFC Recruitment Drive

Calling Eyeris (the real one, not the one not allowed to enter the country), Sicko, Shasi, Tenacious T, Spiller, Nine Inches, Anttyk, Crash, Dan, Syahid, Sunil, Shook, Jenal, Jolie, Bex and all LFC fans.

Ask not what Gerrard, Torres, Johnson, Skrtel, Agger, Aurelio, Ngog, El Zahar, Riera, Kelly, Aqualani can do for you.

Ask not since they cannot.

They can't do any bleeding thing at the moment. Half of them sakit telor kena pijak by that anak gajah Voronin. The other half is down with flu.

The club needs us to be supersubs tonight.

I chop jersey no 98.

November 03, 2009

Sluts to take on Devils

TRUE STORY!! BREAKING NEWS!!

CSKA Relishing Opportunity

Manchester: CSKA Moscow will tonight take on the Mighty Manchester United. They will be fired up after sacking former Spurs boss, One-Day Ramos. CSKA's new coach, LEO SLUTSKI will no doubt be raring to get his slutty claws into Sir Alex's brave warriors.

Ahead of the big game against Chelski this weekend, Manchester United will probably be hoping that SLUTSKI's team will be easy and will be looking to score big time. Of course, with no more pretty boys on the team SLUTSKI's team would probably be overawed by real men.

When questioned about his playing career that ended as a 19 year old, LEO SLUTSKI had this to say, "I got the injury at 19 when I was climbing a tree looking for a neighbour's pussy.

"I ended up as a hero in my village because I saved the pussy. Unfortunately, I also fell out of the tree and injured my knee. It was awful because I had hardly started my career."

We shall hope that there are no pussies around in the game tonight, although we are not so sure about our friends from Liverpool.

And the tradition continues...

Wayne Rooney

Graham and John Rooney - Why you shouldn't shag your sister.


Perfectly matching couple



Continuing the Rooney tradition of producing ugly sons, Wayne and his wife, Colleen, today celebrates the birth of their son Kai Wayne Rooney.



Kai?

Apparently, Kai is chicken in Thai, which officially elevates Rooney to Bapak Ayam. (Courtesy of Tiggah and Jeeves from previous comment box)

Rumours that Colleen cried tears of joy that the baby is a boy, and not a girl who looks like Rooney has yet to be confirmed.

A jubilant Rooney expected his son to grow up to be a footballer too.

Kay Wayne Rooney, 20 years on.



On another note, now that Rooney already has an heir to carry the fugly tradition, he can go back to shagging menopausal women.

On yet another note, notice the press only stated Colleen's parents occupation? Does that mean Rooney's parents queue outside the dole office every Thursday while robbing post offices and gas meters in their spare time?

On yet yet another another note, have you noticed the Scouse-hating team not only has two Scousers up front, but two short Scousers at that too. At least one of them is not ugly. And that's why he played at Liverpool first.

November 01, 2009

eeejet


You're surprised??!


You got away with another last-man rugby tackle last week just as Mickey was gonna score the equaliser. This isn't American football, you idiot.

CIBAI #834694

WHAT THE FUCK YOU STUPID FAT WAITER. AFTER ALL THE HARD WORK LAST WEEK, WHAT THE FUCKING DIPSHIT HELL DID YOU HAVE TO CHANGE THIGNS LIKE THAT FOR? YOU KNOW WHY WE DID SO WELL LAST SEASON? BECAUSE YOU FUCKING DID NOT CHANGE THE TEAMS SO MUCH YOU IDIOT DUMBASS. 1-1 AND YOU TAKE OFF TORRES? CHASING THE GAME AND YOU TAKE OFF YOUR BEST PLAYER BENAYOUN INSTEAD OF THAT USELESS FAT TRIPLE H VORONIN? NINE MEN DOWN AND YOU STILL DON'T TAKE OFF VORONIN BUT KUYT WHO DID MORE IN TEN MINUTES THAN VORONIN DID THE ENTIRE MATCH? YOU STUPID FAT GIT, YOU ARE LOSING THE PLOT. WE DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE CHAMPION'S LEAGUE. GO ON LIKE THIS IN THE LEAGUE AND YOU WON'T EVEN GET INTO THE CHAMPION'S LEAGUE NEXT YEAR, YOU FAT FUCK. GODAMMIT MACAUHAI CIBAI IDIOT FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.