happy chappies

See Michael Essien.
See Michael Essien smile.
See Michael Essien smile with Florent Malouda.
See Michael Essien smile with Florent Malouda as they jog behind Joe Cole.

See the fellows who look after business while Lampard, Ballack, Deco and Drogba are on MC.

Now let's give a big round of applause to Sunderland. Not only did they beat Arsenal this weekend, they are also level on points with Liverpool.

Now let's point and laugh at Liverpool. Heheheh.

Oit! Liverpool Fans!

This man owns the team you almost lost to tonight. That was no penalty. Memang the referee kayu.


The Liberace of Hong Kong.
Mat Bulu.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

LFC Recruitment Drive

Calling Eyeris (the real one, not the one not allowed to enter the country), Sicko, Shasi, Tenacious T, Spiller, Nine Inches, Anttyk, Crash, Dan, Syahid, Sunil, Shook, Jenal, Jolie, Bex and all LFC fans.

Ask not what Gerrard, Torres, Johnson, Skrtel, Agger, Aurelio, Ngog, El Zahar, Riera, Kelly, Aqualani can do for you.

Ask not since they cannot.

They can't do any bleeding thing at the moment. Half of them sakit telor kena pijak by that anak gajah Voronin. The other half is down with flu.

The club needs us to be supersubs tonight.

I chop jersey no 98.

Sluts to take on Devils

TRUE STORY!! BREAKING NEWS!!

CSKA Relishing Opportunity

Manchester: CSKA Moscow will tonight take on the Mighty Manchester United. They will be fired up after sacking former Spurs boss, One-Day Ramos. CSKA's new coach, LEO SLUTSKI will no doubt be raring to get his slutty claws into Sir Alex's brave warriors.

Ahead of the big game against Chelski this weekend, Manchester United will probably be hoping that SLUTSKI's team will be easy and will be looking to score big time. Of course, with no more pretty boys on the team SLUTSKI's team would probably be overawed by real men.

When questioned about his playing career that ended as a 19 year old, LEO SLUTSKI had this to say, "I got the injury at 19 when I was climbing a tree looking for a neighbour's pussy.

"I ended up as a hero in my village because I saved the pussy. Unfortunately, I also fell out of the tree and injured my knee. It was awful because I had hardly started my career."

We shall hope that there are no pussies around in the game tonight, although we are not so sure about our friends from Liverpool.

And the tradition continues...

Wayne Rooney

Graham and John Rooney - Why you shouldn't shag your sister.

Perfectly matching couple

Continuing the Rooney tradition of producing ugly sons, Wayne and his wife, Colleen, today celebrates the birth of their son Kai Wayne Rooney.



Kai?

Apparently, Kai is chicken in Thai, which officially elevates Rooney to Bapak Ayam. (Courtesy of Tiggah and Jeeves from previous comment box)

Rumours that Colleen cried tears of joy that the baby is a boy, and not a girl who looks like Rooney has yet to be confirmed.

A jubilant Rooney expected his son to grow up to be a footballer too.

Kay Wayne Rooney, 20 years on.

On another note, now that Rooney already has an heir to carry the fugly tradition, he can go back to shagging menopausal women.

On yet another note, notice the press only stated Colleen's parents occupation? Does that mean Rooney's parents queue outside the dole office every Thursday while robbing post offices and gas meters in their spare time?

On yet yet another another note, have you noticed the Scouse-hating team not only has two Scousers up front, but two short Scousers at that too. At least one of them is not ugly. And that's why he played at Liverpool first.

eeejet

You're surprised??!

You got away with another last-man rugby tackle last week just as Mickey was gonna score the equaliser. This isn't American football, you idiot.

CIBAI #834694

WHAT THE FUCK YOU STUPID FAT WAITER. AFTER ALL THE HARD WORK LAST WEEK, WHAT THE FUCKING DIPSHIT HELL DID YOU HAVE TO CHANGE THIGNS LIKE THAT FOR? YOU KNOW WHY WE DID SO WELL LAST SEASON? BECAUSE YOU FUCKING DID NOT CHANGE THE TEAMS SO MUCH YOU IDIOT DUMBASS. 1-1 AND YOU TAKE OFF TORRES? CHASING THE GAME AND YOU TAKE OFF YOUR BEST PLAYER BENAYOUN INSTEAD OF THAT USELESS FAT TRIPLE H VORONIN? NINE MEN DOWN AND YOU STILL DON'T TAKE OFF VORONIN BUT KUYT WHO DID MORE IN TEN MINUTES THAN VORONIN DID THE ENTIRE MATCH? YOU STUPID FAT GIT, YOU ARE LOSING THE PLOT. WE DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE CHAMPION'S LEAGUE. GO ON LIKE THIS IN THE LEAGUE AND YOU WON'T EVEN GET INTO THE CHAMPION'S LEAGUE NEXT YEAR, YOU FAT FUCK. GODAMMIT MACAUHAI CIBAI IDIOT FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Hattrick!

Congrats Vidic for your third red card against Liverpool.

Hurrah!

pre match warm up

The year is 1993.

Manyoo had just won the league. We hadn't won the league in 26 years before that. The Kop had this to say when we went to Anfield:


We've won 18. We are now back.

Question is, when are you going to win your next one???

CIBAI #53254

CIBAI.
WHAT THE FUCK are they doing??!!????
I think they used up all their luck last season.
Yay now we can forget about winning anything.
Any win now will be a bonus.
So we can watch football without any expectations.
Or go watch golf instead.
Cibai.

ESBN: Balls Balls Balls.

LIVERPOOL BEACH CLUB: The fallout of the infamous Beach Ball Goal continues, as the dumbass referee who thought the ball was Jamie Carragher was demoted to the Championship and universally ridiculed for making an error even a kampung referee wouldn't make.

In other made-up reports, with his star striker out of action for a couple more games, Rafa Benitez has become so desperate that he is looking to sign the beach ball that scored the winning goal against Liverpool at Sunderland last week. According to him, "Ball, Babel, what's the difference. Neither one does jackshitballs anyway."

However, Rafa faces stiff competition from Men.United manager Alex Fergit was looking to sign the beach ball for 20 million pounds to replace his striker with no balls, Dmitidak Berbola. Unfortunately, being the short-sighted git that he is, Fergit could not tell which ball it was that scored the goal, so he sent his legions of Men.United to go buy every single ball in the Liverpool shop instead.

In other unfounded reports, former Everton player Michael Ball was heard speaking proudly to reporters about his distant cousin, Beach, who scored the winning goal against Liverpool. "Us Balls have always been good at these things," he said, ignoring repeated questions about the time HE missed the ball when it bounced off a balloon, and allowed someone to score a goal against him.

Doing a Fergit

I apologise to Mr Rafa Benitez for any embarassment that my previous post may have caused and to the Rafa Benitez fan club for going public with my views.

It restrospect, I accept that this could be deemed as expressing those views in an inappropriate forum.

I'd wish it be noted that I've always respected Mr Benitez for LFC's 5th CL Cup and 2006 FA Cup. I didn't state that Mr Benitez is a bad manager, that he was in any way egoistical proportionate to the size of his gut, that he was in any way biased in regards to Mr Lucas and Mr Voronin, or that he has lost the plot.

My only intention in writing publicly was to highlight what I believe to be a serious and important issue, namely that the fitness levels of managers must match the ever-increasing demands of the modern game, which I hope will now be properly addressed through the appropriate formal channel.

In short, I apologise for implying that Mr Benitez is a fat git. I still think he is a fat git but I shouldn't have said it out loud.

Fark the Fat Git!

Why send Alonso away?
Why keep that useless Lucas?
Why keep the equally useless Voronin?
Why Lucas always start?????

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!

My season's over.

I might as well give up footie and start watching AF or Sehati Sedansa. I reckon it's less torturous.

Fark you FAT GIT!!!

p/s: I see Anttyk very active over at Twitter. Post here lah haha
p/ss: wtf is a beach ball doing in England anyway????

aww, too bad

I wanted to call time out and wave the peace flag.

Really.

And I wanted to laugh at Chelsea for losing to Titfuck Bramble.

Really.

But those fellas at The Star had other ideas. They released a breaking news story which no responsible football blog could let slip. Especially when a good number of the readers are Liverpoo fans.

You know how those miserable little Scousers were always complaining that Liverpoo cannot come to Malaysia because of the haram logo on their jerseys? Well, I don't really know how far that is true laa...because in Shah Alam there is this big big factory where they produce all that stuff anyway.

So anyway, those little Scousers were all so excited that that company was no longer going to sponsor Liverpoo and just when they thought that their favourite thieves could come to town, the dreaded Malaysian censorship board went and potong steam.

'Bruno' banned in Malaysia

KUALA LUMPUR: Malaysians will not get to watch Bruno on the big screen as the National Film Censorship Board has decided to give the controversial movie the axe. ...

Kantoi lah like that!

If Bruno cannot come of course the whole team cannot come lah! How can the star striker (albeit gay and girlish) not follow the team?

But please, fellow Malaysians...please don't take it out on the Censorship Board. It is not their fault.

Bruno really WILL corrupt the minds of our young ones.

They will turn gay. And effeminate.

They will wear ridiculously short pants and pose in feminine positions.



They will start kissing other boys in public. And after that, they will start humping other boys in public. Or allow themselves to be humped in public.



And you people still worship Bruno?!?!

HOW CAN!!?!?

Bitch Week on HB continues

Sol Campbell quits Notts County after just ONE game!!! oneoneone111111satusatusatu!!!