November 28, 2007

"England - Pilihan Saya!"

Since it is already old news and everyone's sick of it, we'll talk about England's disastrous exit from Euro 2008 qualifiers anyway.

The loss to Croatia has affected a lot of people profoundly - the supporters are mourning, the FA top brass are pointing fingers, the manager has been fired, the Germans dancing in the streets...

But one local company's marketing campaign has hit a serious snag.

Spotted this at a shop earlier today... it's a series of school bags. A vely fehmes skool beg kompeni la.

Check out the picture at the top left hand corner. Wah! Celebrity endorsement! Capitalize on a fehmes name or event, sure sell one....!

Upon closer look, it's famous football stars - Looney, Feckhem, Stevie G and Owen - all famous for being injured (okay, except Stevie G)

But upon closer inspection, you'll note it says "Collection 2008 England Team"... kantoi la... do what in 2008? Play friendly ka? watch other team play in Euro ka? that one Malaysia also can do la...

Anyways, this chubby kid in the poster ad says it all...

November 26, 2007

football stories of the week

My sugar daddy is better than your sugar daddy!

Reds row escalates as owners hit back at Rafa

What's this? Hyuk hyuk! Karma, people...KARMA!

To think that Malcolm Glazer's takeover of Manyoo raised so many eyebrows and had the whole world laughing at Manyoo waiting for their collapse. Given the problems Abramovic gave Mourinho and the problems Rafael is facing... sugar daddy rawks!

The real reason why England lost

The singer of the national anthems fucked up before the game. Read about it here.
Croatia rose to the occasion in their crucial Euro 2008 defeat of England - after an apparent X-rated gaffe by an English opera singer at Wembley.

Tony Henry belted out a version of the Croat anthem before the 80,000 crowd, but made a blunder at the end.

He should have sung 'Mila kuda si planina' (which roughly means 'You know my dear how we love your mountains').

But he instead sang 'Mila kura si planina' which can be interpreted as 'My dear, my penis is a mountain'.


"The Croatians think it's great, and they've invited him to come over and sing at Euro 2008, and asked if he will be their mascot."

Please do our country a favour tomorrow at 8 pm. Please get behind (not in a dirty way of course) the one Malaysian who knows his football.

Watch Football Focus with John Dykes at 8 pm Tuesday night on ESPN where we can see The Shebster mock Steve 'the baldie' McMahon over England's defeat. Don't miss this rare opportunity to watch Shabby say, "I-told-you-so-you-fat-baldie, haha!"

November 25, 2007

Ununited Men of England Cheer!

INGGERLUND: American soccer club Men.United proved a Hantubola commentator's point that not having a single player in the dismal Ingerlund squad that lost to the Croat-Croats on Wednesday was the best thing that ever happened to English football; as they proceeded to give all the UnUnited-Men in the country something to cheer about - and at the same time giving Medium-Size Not-Sam's Bolton an early Xmas present.

So generous was Sir Alex Ferguson that he even decided to lift the mood around the Reebok by going home early to sulk.

In other news, Roy Keane decided that Derby's tactics were the way to go as Sunderland also gave Everton seven early Xmas gifts to be given out among the squad, though that Yakubu decided to bag two for himself, that greedy bastard (Rumours that Phil Neville was found crying in the shower room with some broken ribbons in his hand were unfounded).

Also happening around the EPL, Rafa-rafa decided to do some coaching instead of whining about money again, and stevie found-his-G-Spot by showing just how much the ingerlund loss had affected his confidence by not losing 3-2 to Newcastle not-very-United. A minor miracle was also achived at St. James' Park when Dirk Headless Kuyt actually scored a goal using his own skil.... oh wait.

November 22, 2007






November 20, 2007

Dear Crouch,

The next time Rafa lets you play, it may be prudent to remember what a wise man (Robbie Fowler actually) once said: "There is someone in the Liverpool team that wank 2 hours before a match and head out to score 5 goals in a match."

See, that's how you become an Anfield Legend. Not by losing your head to skanky crack hos like this.

November 18, 2007

And so the chest-thumping begins


I was so looking forward to reading all the whining and lamenting about how England will be missing Euro '08.

But NO, Russia had to go and fucking LOSE. Now we'll have to put up with all the celebrating and chest beating about how "We can still make it!"

England given Tel Aviv reprieve
An unlikely second chance arrived for Steve McClaren as Israel beat Russia 2-1 with a last-minute strike

and look, all the chest thumping has already started:

Gerrard issues Euro rallying cry


November 16, 2007

Jamie Yeo is NOT a bimbo

(Hey, that rhymes too)

Random quotes from today's Star Football pullout.

Call Jamie Yeo a bimbo all you want - she could not care less. In fact, she won't blame you.

" It's just the way I am - carefree and giggly, plus I'm the stereotype of a bimbo, with long hair and big eyes, who dresses sexily," says the not-bimbo while as she tosses her long, blonde-streaked hair.

She has never been single at any point of her life since she was 17.
"I guess I crave male attention because I don't feel like I got enough of it as a child"

Midway through the interview, Yeo fidgets with her low-cut halter top that plunges into the valley of her between a "B and C-cup chest. (Ed: C cup my ample arse. B at the most)

She takes mild umbrage when you ask if she will depend on her looks to make money until she's 40. Her playful, albeit weak reply comes swiftly: "Er, not my looks, my talent! How dare you! Err..I don't know."

November 11, 2007

Because ESBN Just Isn't As Fun When Liverpool Do Nothing But Win.

KUALA LUMPUR: Several braincells were busted as bias Hantu Bola contributer eyeris tried to think of something funny to write about Liverpool's win last night, where Rafa Benitez set a record for the least number of rotations EVER as he made ZERO (yes, count that, ZERO) changes to the team that won 8-0 over Besiktargetpractise on WEdnesday.

That unchanged team was obviously not used to playing together two matches in a row, and duly went on to draw 0-0 until the 80th minute, when Benitez finally gave in to his compulsive obsession to change things around.

One of those changes, Fernando "soon-to-be-winning-two-of-his-fans-a-bottle-of-jameson-each" Torres scored one goal, while another, Ryan "Not Markus" Babel passed a ball to Peter crouch who obligingly tripped over it and got a penalty in the process. Stevie G-String decided to put an end to his Jonny Wilkinson impersonations and converted the penalty.

In other news, James Milner scored a lucky goal as newcastle drew 1-...... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

November 08, 2007

pervert alert

All the pretty boys should cover their arses. Literally.



November 07, 2007

Liverpool celebrates Deepavali early

Liverpool found the light and created yet another history.

Biggest ever Champions League win

Liverpool 8 - 0 Besiktas

Crouch, Benayoun, Benayoun, Benayoun, Gerrard, Babel, Babel, Crouch.

Besiktas kena sayur babe.


November 05, 2007


Sometimes, I feel really glad that I do not support any of the Big Four EPL, I mean BPL teams. This means that matches involving Newcastle are not shown live most weekends (something about viewership numbers, damn bloodsucking subscription increasing Astro).

Had I seen that match against Pompey, where we conceded three goals in four minutes, I would have tugged all me hair off me bleedin' heed.


November 04, 2007

Lanchao pulak

Every bloody year we said next year is going to be our year

Every bloody year.

GOD said faith can move mountains. Easy for him to say innit? He only plays football to kill time these days.

That mad man changes his players more often than a nympho changes the battery on her BOB.

Go rotate your WAG lah fooker. Why rotate your toy boys?

It's wrecking havoc with my Fantasy Football. Fooker.

And wots with the fetish with anak ikan with long flowing blonde locks lah? Go find an ugly feck who can find the back of the net lah.

Speaking of which, now that Men.United has a new policy to play only fugly strikers, perhaps we can offload Crotchless once and for all.

Even that Sawadecrap Squad is above us.


I go support Newcastle then only you know.

November 03, 2007


Two points dropped.

I predicted 2-2 with late drama. Cibai. Predictions aren't supposed to come true okay.

Why referee help Scouse scum but never help us one?


November 01, 2007

A Rubbish Post about an Honest remark in a Shitty Cup

You know how a lot of managers always say in the post-match press conference after losing that ' the referee was bias', 'we deserved something out of it' diplomatic shit?

Well, Here's Dave Jones giving THE most honest response to a defeat so far this season, after Liverpool beat Cardiff 2-1 at the Carling Cup last night:

"You wouldn't understand how disappointed I am to lose here. Unless you have played football you wouldn't understand and I hope you all have a shit journey home."

Oh, welcome home, God.
Oh dear, Kewell is back too.
And eh, who the hell is Nabil El Zhar?