September 28, 2009

aww, too bad

I wanted to call time out and wave the peace flag.


And I wanted to laugh at Chelsea for losing to Titfuck Bramble.


But those fellas at The Star had other ideas. They released a breaking news story which no responsible football blog could let slip. Especially when a good number of the readers are Liverpoo fans.

You know how those miserable little Scousers were always complaining that Liverpoo cannot come to Malaysia because of the haram logo on their jerseys? Well, I don't really know how far that is true laa...because in Shah Alam there is this big big factory where they produce all that stuff anyway.

So anyway, those little Scousers were all so excited that that company was no longer going to sponsor Liverpoo and just when they thought that their favourite thieves could come to town, the dreaded Malaysian censorship board went and potong steam.

'Bruno' banned in Malaysia

KUALA LUMPUR: Malaysians will not get to watch Bruno on the big screen as the National Film Censorship Board has decided to give the controversial movie the axe. ...

Kantoi lah like that!

If Bruno cannot come of course the whole team cannot come lah! How can the star striker (albeit gay and girlish) not follow the team?

But please, fellow Malaysians...please don't take it out on the Censorship Board. It is not their fault.

Bruno really WILL corrupt the minds of our young ones.

They will turn gay. And effeminate.

They will wear ridiculously short pants and pose in feminine positions.

They will start kissing other boys in public. And after that, they will start humping other boys in public. Or allow themselves to be humped in public.

And you people still worship Bruno?!?!

HOW CAN!!?!?

September 23, 2009

tersebut lah kisah...

The pissing match from the comments box below is really too awesome not to make into a real post!

Alex Ferguson sememangnya seorang datuk yang penyayang, yang pernah beberapa kali membawa cucunya menyaksikan Liverpool bermain bola.

"Inilah cara profesional bermain bola, cucuku."

"Inilah cara profesional bermain bola, cucuku....Faham, dik?" beliau bertanya kepada cucu kesayangannya. Cucunya mengangguk kepalanya. Dah bosan dengar Si Orang Tua asyik meleteh. "Ini kau kena faham betul-betul tau...jangan keliru, sebab pasukan yang satu lagi, yang pakai baju merah dengan logo HARAM tu...dia orang tu perompak dari casta bawahan"

"Ya, Atuk," cucunya menjawab. "Atuk dah banyak kali cakap dah. Yang budak tu pernah curi hubcap kereta. Yang seorang lagi tu, pernah curi penutup jamban...entah kenapa pun..."

"Pandai budak"

Dah cucunya bercakap pula dalam hati:
"Baik jadi lelaki tulin yang mencuri hubcab dari menjadi diva yang suka dive sesuka hati dan kuat menangis dan pakai bunga belakang telinga dan bawak tas tangan."

Dia kemudian terjaga dari mimpi ngerinya.

"Phew. Itu musim bola tahun lepas. Sekarang No 7 dah tak bapok."

Dan terfikir pulak, "Hmm..nasib baik Pasukan Atuk tu dah jual Si Bapuk. Pasukan Perompak tu ada seorang yang sifat keperempuanan, wajah seiras-iras dengan wartawan dari Austria, Bruno...mungkin dah liwat dengan pencuri jamban tu"

Just as the Kop can no longer sing about their 18 titles, Scousers can no longer taunt us about bapuks - for two reasons: Ronaldo is now gone, and because their star striker is also a bapuk. Closet bapuk, that is....

But fear not, because HBBN proudly exposes "Lelaki Tulen"...

And we even have pictorial evidence, painstakingly gathered from Liverpoo's recent game against West Ham...

Is SHE trying to kiss him? On the lips? On national TV?!? Oh, my...

September 21, 2009

noisy neighbour

"Sometimes you have a noisy neighbour. You cannot do anything about that. They will always be noisy. You just have to get on with your life, put your television on and turn it up a bit louder." - Sir Alex Ferguson

Bincangkan kata-kata yang diluahkan oleh Datuk Alex Ferguson selepas kemenangan yang penting malam tadi.

September 13, 2009

Nuclear Strike Warning

We interrupt this site's regular programming to bring you a special message.

Picture creatively acquired from somewhere

Yeah so I saw what Adabayar did to the Arse brigade during the highlights show. Frankly, I didn't like what he did y'know.

I swear if the bloody KNNCCB Tevez does the same thing to us in the next game, I'm gonna bloody hell get someone to nuke his bloody house. Or maybe I'll just spam his e-mail, whichever works better.

September 02, 2009

Wenger In The Stands

(Click the image for a larger version)

(Credit to JEEVS for giving us the Anderson quote!)

September 01, 2009

ESBN Weekend Roundup: Men.United's New Strategy

(picture taken from Football365)

ESBN is proud to present a weekend roundup of results that we already know about anyway.

Bolton fans found out the hard way that the more you boo Stevie G, the more likely he is to score against you. The match was noted for a post-Edivedo knee jerk reaction where after dispossessing Torres with a brilliant tackle which floored Torres in the penalty box, Za-zat Knight perasan and went over to heckle Torres for diving, even though Torres himself didn't even bother asking for a penalty. Perasan betul, Zat ini.

Over in Menchesthair United, just when we thought he had failed to come up with a proper replacement for Christina Doi Doi, Al Fergit has come up with another fail-proof strategy to win matches - Get the other team to give you goals instead.

Men.United couldn't score a single proper goal the entire match, as the Gooners went on rampage in Old Traffart, scoring one brilliant goal through Andey Assshavin, giving away one brilliant penalty, and then losing the game with one brilliantly headed own goal.

Will.I.Am "I WAS CAPTAIN" Glass even managed to take his No. 10 shirt number seriously enough to stray offside at the last minute to deny his own player an equalising goal. And after that, Arse Wanker was sent off for stealing the show by kicking a bottle straighter than Darren "Hey you, in Row Q!" Fletcher could kick a ball.