November 30, 2006

Abnormal News #2

LIVERPOOL, Nov 29 - A new form of football may soon find its way into the Barclays Premier League.

Top Liverpool striker Peter Crouch may be its head protoganist. The Anfield hero, considered by many Liverpool fanatics all over the world as the best ever striker to don the Carlsberg-logoed jersey, has been in the limelight ever his his high-profile 7 million pounds move from Southampton. He has also been popular with many dancing Coca-Cola cans since doing the Croucherena, now a popular Merseyside dance in local discotheques. Some car owners have been reported to perform the Croucherena dance every night as a prayer to avoid theft of hubcaps.

During the match against Portsmouth, his super flexible body allowed him to attack the Pompey defence, culminating fear into the opposing players even though some of them were not interested in marking him. This is because Peter Crouch gave birth to Kungfu Football.

So stylish is the play, that many pundits around the world as hailing Kungfu Football as the game's new buzzword.

Malaysian poondeque Shebby 'Serbegeth' Singh, has hailed the Anfield hero, and offered his views.

"Many years ago when a certain pre-rich London club was under a certain manager called Ruud Gullit, they were trying on the then newly-coined term 'sexy football'. We all know what happened since then now don't we? This time I am optimistic that Kungfu Football will not suffer the same fate because, come on....that Peter Crouch fellow is so likeable, and hardcore Liverpool fans in Malaysia, especially in Petaling Jaya, love him to bits. Plus, Crouchy is so much more popular than that Liverpool traitor Michael Owen. "

After the Pompey game, we managed to secure an exclusive interview with the talismanic future Liverpool captain Peter Crouch and he only had this to say, "Screw Shaolin Soccer, Kungfu Football is the way to go!"

It is rumoured that Peter Crouch will go on a World Tour to promote Kungfu Football. Liverpool fanatics around the world will surely be excited.

November 28, 2006

The Great Italian Love Fest

Another year on and Thierry Henry yet again misses out on the Ballon d'Or, losing out to Fabio Canninavaro and Gigi Buffon.

You might think I'm being biased but, logically, would a school give the Anugerah Pelajar Cemerlang if they knew he cheated in his exams? Ok fine, the Juve players were probably oblivious to the cheating, but the fact is whatever achivements they and Cannavaro managed in that year was more than likely influenced by corrupt refereeing.
  • So he won the World Cup - But Henry was there too and played a vital role for France before losing out on penalties.
  • So he won the Serie A - But that was stripped off whereas Henry carried the whole young Arsenal team on his back and dragged them up to 4th in his first year as captain.
  • So he reached the finals quarter finals of the Champs League - Ok this is laughable because his team was knocked out by Arsenal (and Henry scored against them, btw), who came within 15 minutes of lifting the trophy itself.

UEFA really f**ked up on this one. I mean, heck they even gave Michael Owen this award before, so that shows your how much they know.

November 27, 2006

lazy journalism

Being a little free in the office today, I spent the day reading numerous reports on last night's game. Different websites, but all saying the same shit over and over again. Last night's pundits couldn't help but repeating themselves over and over again too.

1) Louis Saha
"Louis has been like a caged animal in training......." - Fergie
Every fucking report does nothing more than to talk about how Saha redeemed himself last night after the "shocker" at Celtic. What are you muppets rambling about? The Celtic game was his first bad game of the season! He does not need to fucking redeem himself you twats!

2) Andriy Shevchenko

While all the reports acknowledged that he had a bad game, the journalists were pretty easy on him. For £35 million, you would think that they would be calling Shevchenko a waste of money. I said it before the season started (and I am in the process of winning a bet with TJ) SHEVCHENKO SUCKS ASS. Any idiot that cannot score against Jerzy 'I am a clown' Dudek from one yard out IS NOT A FOOTBALLER. But of course they all seem to point to the fact that he is a world class player who did all those wonderful things in Italy and hence we should go easy on them. Funny, they never accorded the same privillege to Seba Veron. But we all know that is because Veron is an Argentinian, and the evil British press just hates Argies.

3) Jose Mourinho

Don't get me wrong. I love this guy. I think he is fucking brilliant and I love his press conferences for the sheer ability of this man to dumbfuck everybody else. But for the press to go on and on about how he was a tactical genius is beyond my understanding. Nobody with brains would have played a midfield diamond knowing the devastating power of Manyoo's wingers (which, through psychic powers Fergie managed to listen to my advice). And when Mourinho realised that at half time, he did what anybody who knows football would have done. He fucking addressed the problem. What's so brilliant about that?

Ronaldo giving you problems? Put THREE men on him. Geremi playing shite? Take him outlah! It was obvious that he was going to do all that. You are away from home, playing the league leaders and you are 1-0 down. ITS A NO BRAINER to go for it. All or nothing! They aren't Liverpool (who seem to like getting reamed in the arse playing away). Of course they were going to attack. There is nothing brilliant about that, okay?

4) Manyoo's squad

Yes, yes. We get it already. Manyoo has a useless squad. Do you really need to keep harping on it? Is it going to change anytime soon? It's not as if Fergie can go out and buy players NOW, can he? You can harp about Liverpool playing shitty because Rafa can actually change that. But what would you have Fergie do right now? Shut the fuck up and start complaining if the January window opens. Besides, Solskjaer is injured right now. Tell me, who the fuck is capable of replacing Drogba if he gets injured? (read number 2 before trying to suggest anything)

I swear, any idiot can be a sports journalist. You don't need research or knowledge of the game. You just need to be able to say things that sound clever. Like for example, there was this article in the Guardian the other day that was written after Saha missed the 89th minute penalty at Celtic. The idiot wrote that Ruud prolly would have the steel and would have scored it and because of that we are missing Ruud. The asshole conveniently missed out the point that at that exact same moment, Ruud missed an 88th minute penalty for Real against Lyon.

And it is for that reason, and that reason alone, due to all the shitty competition out there, HantuBola is the place to be.

Allardyce is Fat

Warning. Short rant post.

Nico Anelka can go back to Turkey or wherever he came from (e.g. ManCity), that moody ingrate.

Allardyce should start losing weight.I can see a choked artery somewhere down the road. Not to mention size 52" pants.

Michael Bolton 3 - Goners 1

But anyway, Gunners played poorly. At least still got FA Cup, and er, CL? Damn.

November 25, 2006

Hantu Bola Turns ONE!

Exactly one year ago, a Liverpool fan sent out two emails, one to a Manyoo fan, the other to a Chelski fan, asking them to join some irreverant footie blog where anything goes.

The result was THIS:

Welcome to Petaling Street Hooligans

Later, vincent came up with this famous logo:

And the rest is history.

Tomorrow, When Manyoo meet Chelski at Old Trafficjam, it will officially be Hantu Bola's FIRST ANNIVERSARY.

Not bad for a silly football blog huh?

Oh, and er... does anyone have any idea how one celebrates these one year thingies?

PS: We wanted to do something for the match AND anniversary, but somehow, I completely forogt about it, plus Vincent got stuck in Hicksville, so nothign materialised. Oh well. I'm too broke to go out and get drunk over a Manyoo-Chelski game anyway... :D:D

November 23, 2006

karmic balance

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that most of us sports fans are pretty huge on this superstition thingy. I hardly ever predict scores to games, and I am certainly hugely afraid of this karma thingy.

Let's make things clear and simple.

1) Manyoo's squad is NOT strong enough to win the league. Our first team is - but not the squad. It certainly doesn't take a monkey to figure that out. And so, if we are going to have any chance of winning the league, we are going to need all the luck in the world and not get any injuries than we already have (Solskjaer and Park). Hence, it would be in our best interests to play as little games as possible to lower the risk of injuries.

2) Last season, we fucked up in the Champions League. There is nothing to argue there. This season though, we have been extremely unlucky in the last two games. Both were games we fucking dominated. Both were games in which the HOME team sat back and defended. Both were games in which they scored LATE goals. Last night, Celtic scored from a free kick in which they won with a dive (of course, the evil British press never highlighted that). On any other night this season, Saha would have scored two goals.

I was fucking pissed and the last time I felt as cheated was when Arsenal won the FA Robbery Cup Finals in 2005. Still, I am willing to trade all that shitty luck for good luck in the league. Screw the Champions League.

This is my pact with Karma.

Awesome luck in the league (and winning it of course) with a first round exit in the Champions League this year.

That is all I am asking for.

I heard the other day of a similar pact a Scouser made with Karma. The fluke Champions League victory in exchange for 10 years of mediocrity. Well, you got your wish, so now you have to keep your end of the deal.

That's 10 years of Peter Crouch in a Liverpool jersey, you know.

November 21, 2006

The Life of Stevie (Mekmun) McMahon

1985 - 1991: Liverful player. Winner of the Mullet of the Year and Player Who Inflicted Most Broken Legs Awards.

2000 - 2004: Blackpoo manager. Winner of the (o) Award.

2006- 2007: Poondeque-ing on ESPNSTAR Sports. No awards here.

2008 - ??: Shebby Singh got so fed up with the git for f*cking with him on so many occasions he hired Chuck Norris, who stopped by the studio and roundhouse kicked Stevie in the face. Stevie went on to star in Lord of the Rings 4.

2006 (c) Hantubola Original Productions

November 20, 2006

Shebby's Letter

Dear losers,

It has come to my attention that I am increasingly becoming the butt of jokes among football fans in Malaysia.

During one of my regular internet sheep porn research sessions, I stumbled across a Malaysian Footie Blog named Hantublablabla. The blog is filled with uncircumcised philistines and unwashed peasants. And they had the cheek to call me their favourite pundek. I don’t really know what a pundek is (I asked John but he won’t tell me), but I am pretty certain it’s a tropical fruit. So I am carefully observing these fuckers. Their blog template sucks ass too. Gives me a major headache.

Then, there is this fella named Sicko. He mocked my ability to make correct and accurate predictions. You hubcap-stealing scouser, I have been right. Once. From my 3,141,592,653,589 predictions.

Worst of all, there is this chick named Lily who claims that she knows me. She also says that I am not cute and yack non-stop. She also lies about me being penniless. Mahai. I am paid RM20,000 a month by ESPN, okay? I am so rich, I can buy er… MyTeam, I think.

Okay, if you’ll execute me, I gotta go. Paul Masefield is waiting for me in the sauna. And he’s naked. Mmm.

(Up) Yours,
Shebby Singh, the footballer formerly known as Serbegeth.

p/s: They say I look like a some German dude with a rocking moustache during WWII. I am so very is the handsome!

So What?

So what if we beat Man U and Liverpool?
So what if we play beautiful passing football?
So what if we have scored 4 goals in 89 attempts at goal against Villa, Boro, Everton and Newcastle? (That's a 4% conversion rate)
So what if we conceded 4 goals in 10 attempts at us against those same team (That's 40%)

I'll tell you what.



November 18, 2006

real fans

You muppets talking about REAL football fans are starting to irritate me....

Here's a little example of REAL fans. Have a nice weekend.

November 16, 2006

Oh Delusional Me!

Hmmm. Din's comment here got me thinking. He said that we're being "delusional liverpool fans who cook up stuff about their club being a 'great' club who are going to win the league."

Well of COURSE we're delusional. Which fan wouldn't want their team to win the league? well duh. Even Forest Green fans dream about THEIR team one day winning the Premiership title right? Ok, maybe not.

But anyway, to tell the truth, I'm not really THAT bothered at all. we're not a great club mar. After all, it's been 16 years since our last league title, and last i checked, I think we ONLY had 18 titles. So few titles only lar. sien. How to be a 'great club' liddat? haiyor.

Anyway, seeing as Chelsea are still some way off from the 18 title record (and have so few fans that no one really notices anyway), and the mancs have to win maybe three or four times more to surpass it (provided someone else doesn't win it), I reckon all we need is ONE win in the next... maybe three or four years... and that should shut the Mancs up for good.

May not be this year or the next, but heck, I'm not in a hurry. After all, it's been 16 years since we won the title, so we're used to waiting. And while we're waiting, it's fun to see them winning itty-bitty stuff like the Champion's League as well, so it's not been THAT boring.

Besides, Just like Din is so 'passionate' about his Men.United, I am also quietly confident that Liverpool's time shall come, and we shall GET that one title to shut the Mancs up for good. at least until after the next ten years without another title, that is...

Anyway, for now, I shall bide my time, and let the Men.United folk continue having their time in the sun. doo di doo...

Yeah, I'm so delusional. Can you tell?

November 15, 2006

manyoo's awesome season

During this run of games, particularly against the so-called lesser clubs such as Swindon, Oldham and Wimbledon, the reality of being a Manchester United player sank in. For most clubs the United game was the big game of the season. However badly things were going, victory over Manchester United was an end in itself. Grounds that would normally be three-quaters full, if that, were packed for the United game. The home team's fans were geed up, the players responded, raising their game far above the norm. The old cliche about this being their Cup final was true in these circumstances......

....There was no danger of me being complacent as it would help me become a better player. But the extra effort made by players from clubs like Norwich, Swindon, Crystal Palace, Oldham, Wimbledon usually led to trouble. Confronted by tackles that were high, late and sometimes crazy, our only option was to meet fire with fire. Eric, Incey, Mark Hughes and myself led the resistance.....

....For what bugged us was that these guys were out to make a name for themselves by sorting us out. Why the fuck didn't they put the effort in every week, then maybe they wouldn't be playing for fucking Norwich or Swindon. So there was no rolling over when faced with this stuff. Meet aggression with aggression, then ability would make the difference at the end of the day.

Roy Keane - Keane The Autobiography 2002

This comes a bit late if you were expecting me to write something about the defeat at some lowly punk club in the League Cup last week. Still, I chose to wait till after the game at the weekend to prove my point.

Everybody seemed more intent of picking out everything that was going wrong with Manyoo on that night, and how our squad isn't exactly the size of Chelsea's. When we lost that night, the evil British press seemed excited to point out that 10 of the starting 11 were full internationals, and that we lost to a bunch of lower division nobodies. For the record, our starting 11 read Kuszczak, Brown, Heinze, O'Shea, Silvestre, Fletcher, Richardson, Jones (the only uncapped player), Ronaldo, Rooney, Smith.

Why were idiots so keen to point out that 10 of them are fully capped players? Out of the lot, only Heinze, Ronaldo and Rooney would breeze into any other Premiership easily. Silvestre, Fletcher and Smith are useful when they are on form, but the rest of them are jokes. Who cares if Kieran Richardson has a few England caps and is called a full-international? Akmal Rizal is also a fucking full-international. Would he be useful?

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that Manyoo has a small squad and we are dependant on a few key players. Yes, Chelsea has a big squad. But if Drogba was the get injured now, who would replace him (give yourself a slap in the face if you even contemplated on saying Shevchenko)? Who would replace John Terry? And for the last two seasons, who could have possibly replaced Frank Lampard? You need luck with injuries sometimes. Manyoo had relatively NO injury problems in their treble year. The Invincibles never had any injury crisis either.

But by far the best thing about being a Manyoo fan is the awesome football going on at the moment. Arsenal have been playing good passing football, but they had problems scoring - so I imagine it must be frustrating like hell. Chelsea have the ability to play beautiful football at times, but other times are robotic. Shall I even mention Liverpool?

At Blackburn, before the game started I was thinking that we were screwed. It was pouring like crazy - the pitch was slippery and the wind was almost a gale. Yet by some magic, they managed to play poetic one-touch football. In terms of total football, all our wingers are comfortable on either wing. Rooney can play up front, in the hole and on the wing. Giggs and Ronaldo can swap around when they feel like it, or they could support Saha as lone striker. Even Scholes and Carrick have been taking turns going forward and sitting back.

The problem is - besides Rooney, nobody is going to kick the opponent silly. Roy Keane was right in what he said up there. When playing nobodies, you need to play rough. Chelsea and Arsenal have had close scares with lower league teams in previous seasons. It is no different. What is apparent is the fact that Manyoo seems to suffer a lot against the lower league teams. The 3rd round of the League Cup was a problem as was the FA Cup a couple of seasons ago.

Still, we are playing superb footie. Let me enjoy it while it lasts.

And of course, as long as Liverpool and their fans keep up their delusions of grandeur, I think I shall enjoy myself.

A Scouser's Christmas Wish

Sod Karma. I'm making a plea bargain with Santa instead.

Dear Santa,
saya sudah insaf. I'm going to be a good girl and stop bitching about Roo Roo Rotweiller, Christina, Weedy Voice, Old Fart Fergit, Mo the Glory Ho and kawasan-kawasan sewaktu dengannya. Can you, please, pretty please, put a cup in my stocking? Mickey Mouse oso can.

In the meantime, sing with me.
Oh, tinker ball, tinker ball,
tinker all the way,
Oh, what fun it is to switch
players from one match to the next,
Oh, tinker ball, tinker ball,
tinker all the way,
Oh, what fun it is to switch
players from one match to the next.

November 14, 2006

This Week's Poll

Not Graham Poll, hell no! I mean a right proper poll.

This week's poll is looking for the match of last weekend in round 12 of this season's EPL.

Which was your personal favourite: was it Reading's comeback after going behind to the North London Hotshit? Sunday's pawnage at the Emirates Stadium? Or was it all the brouhaha of a score draw in Bramall Lane on Saturday afternoon?

Create polls and vote for free.

I didn't put the Chelsea or ManYoo matches as the results were expected, even if to differing degrees. That Newcastle result was kinda expected too, although the Toon were probably lucky to come away with a point.

In our previous poll, we asked everyone to pick their favourite to win this season's sack race. The results clearly show that the popular vote was wrong. Alan Pardew still has a job, but Iain Dowie is unemployed as of last night.


You can never trust a salesgirl at Nike.

I happened to be at Damansara Cineleisure the other day. Seeing there was a Nike outlet at the ground floor, I thought I would try my luck and find out if the store has a Man Utd Polo Tee available, and in the process end a run of 6 failed attempts trying to find such a rare item of clothing around Nike stores in Klang Valley. As I entered, a young lady salesperson approached me....

Salesgirl : Hello sir! Can I help you?

Din : Ah, yes. Do you happen to have any Polo T-shirts of Manchester United?

Salesgirl : Oh, sorry sir, out of stock aledi....

Din : Oh, nevermind then....

At this point of time, I registered in my mind the 7th failed attempt for me to get my desired MU sportswear. But the salesgirl, without even batting an eyelid, quite confidently asked me something so revolting, so incredulous, berdosa!

Salesgirl : .... would you like an Arsenal T-shirt instead?

Din : *heart attack*

You wouldn't want to know what I did after that. You wouldn't be too pleased.

Lesson learnt on that fateful day : Females still have a long way to go in learning about football, especially the EPL. And I need to control my temper.

The End.

November 13, 2006

Bozo Lenden

Yo Rafa,

The way I see it, you've got enough players for two teams right now. One team, the first team, should be kept for Champion's League games THAT MATTER, Premiership games (especialy hte away ones), and FA Cup ties against the Premiership opposition. Oh, and Finals too, if you ever get into another one again.

THE OTHER team, consists of players who should play the Mickey Mouse matches against the likes of Southend and inconsequential Champion's League group games. IMHO, THIS team, of which the players should preferably NOT be allowed to play in the team that I refered to as 'The First Team'. It consists of the following players:
  • Bozo Lenden (nuff said)
  • Unspeedy Gonzales (a lesser Luis Garcia and that's not saying much)
  • Peter Crotch (So inconsequential that no one bothers marking him)
  • Semi Hyypia (getting a little too slow for my liking)
  • Right-Wing Gerrard (as opposed to Centre Gerrard)
  • Assorted fringe players
Now, can you stop all this Bozo nonsense and put Stevie back in the middle?

PS: You really should start playing Football Manager, Rafa. It really teaches you stuff like how wingers are not meant for the centre of midfield...


What a relief!!!

Who says we can't score?!! We don't even need our strikers to score!!
(Side story: What’s up with Henry lately? Must be the Reebok boots…)

If only the Boltons and Evertons will attack us more... Let’s see if our kids can do it again in the Mickey Cup.

Just a thought though… Why would you play a lightweight winger in the middle of the park and stick one of the world’s best central midfielders out on the right? And why would you keep a former Arsenal prodigy with a point to prove on the bench and bring him on when you’re chasing the game?

But thanks, Rafa, for doing just that!

November 09, 2006

Of Shites and Cheats

This... is a muppet. We all know that. After the rubbish performance in the Chelsea game, he gave an even rubbish-er one last night in the Man U-I Mean-Mickey Mouse Cup.

But to be fair, his performance for the Everton vs Arsenal match is just based on match reports due to Astro's continuous love affair with Liverpool... Or as one of the clerks in my office calls them, Liverful...

But anyway... Back to the match... Apparently few glaring penalties were missed, questionable calls, controversial red card... Nothing new with Ol' Polly...

Nevertheless, Everton protested the sending off with this: -

McFadden said: 'I ran past the referee and turned and said, `that was f****** s****.' I did not call him a cheat.'

Perhaps being labelled "shite" is less severe then "cheat" and thus does not warrant a red card eh?

But there's no doubting Poll is both a cheat... and pretty shitey...

November 08, 2006

From One End to the Other End

Southend is at the Championship's bottom end.
Men.United is at the Premiership's top end.
Eastwood scored a goal at one end,
Doi Doi & Roo Roo missed at the other end.
By the time the referee blew to signal the end,
Manure's Mickey Reign had come to an end.

The End.

November 07, 2006

Cashley Cole Moans! Again!

Tigerjoe has got it all wrong. Graham Poll and all those other referees are not out to get Chelsea.

Actually hor, you know what I think? It's not about which team is winning or not, it really isn't. It's all about which team has a player named Cashley Cole in it...

Don't believe? Well, read these quotes from a Guardian story:

(Guardian Football)
According to Cole, referees more readily book players from the Premiership team that is doing the winning. "Definitely," he said. "I had it at Arsenal and now I'm getting it when I have come here. Chelsea are not a dirty team. It's crazy."

"When I was at Arsenal and we started to win things, the refs started to question our discipline and give us yellow cards. I have come to Chelsea and it's exactly the same," he said.

Wait a minute. Last year he was still there, but Arsenal were not doing any winning also...

Anyway, he then says that before he came to Chelsea, he thought Chelsea 'moaned unnecessarily' about referees. So apparently, now that he IS in Chelsea himself, the moaning is necessary eh?

(Guardian Football)
The defender said that while at Arsenal he thought Chelsea moaned unnecessarily to referees, but "I know what it's really like now".
He added: "I didn't realise until I came here how much the refs are..."

Oh, and apparently his captains always seem to get sent off as well...

(Guardian Football)
"Patrick Vieira started to get sent off for two yellow cards when it wasn't a caution, and I had it at Arsenal and now I'm getting it here."

See? I TOLD you. The referees are not out to get Chelsea or Arsenal. They were just trying to see who can piss Cashley Cole off the most. They want to see how much moaning he can actually do.

Which is a lot, apparently judging from the article, in which he goes:

"I'm not moaning, I'm really not, but we really shouldn't lose a game like that." - (Guardian Football)

And then

"I'm not going to moan again," Cole said, "but once again we scored a goal that was fine..." - (Guardian Football)

But heck, he's not moaning. He really isn't. He's probably done all his moaning in his book My Defence, and is saving up the rest for the sequel My Defecation.

That'll be a best seller for sure.

November 06, 2006

instant karma

I couldn't watch the West Ham vs Arsenal match last night, as my telly was appropriated by fans of America's Next Top Model. That was the price for getting the telly to myself for the Chelsea match at midnight.

Anyways, the wonders of Maxis GPRS meant that I found out about the Pardew vs Wenger "boxing bout"; which made me laugh. Out loud, with a left and right roll on the floor. I was looking forward to seeing highlights of that during the half-time report for Totty Hotshit vs Champions Chelsea.

Little did I know that the Karma bitch was going to pay me a visit last night, and fuck me up big time.

I laughed again when Makelele sent a wondrous half-volley into TottyShit's goal 15 minutes into the match. I jumped from my seat when Drogba headed in a second 2 minutes later, but it seems that Karma had swung into action by then.

Graham Poll disallows a Chelsea goal, then flashes a second yellow card to our captain later in the game for some imaginary foul. In between those two incidents, the Totty Boys had managed to sneak in two goals. Fuck. Shitty Shitty Fuck Fuck.

Here's an interesting piece of trivia: Graham Poll is from Tring, which is in North London. Tottenham Hotshit are based in North London too. Coincidence? I think not.

Fuck you too, Graham Poll.

November 05, 2006

Up Yours Mister (or Miss) K

No more beers for you, bitch!

Next Time, Throw it Like Jamie!

Yesterday, during the Fulham-Everton match, Claus Jensen scored a deflected goal that Fat Lamb would be proud of. after that, he was taking a corner when SUDDENLY a METEOR the size of a COIN came flying down from the stands and hit him in the head!

Tsk tsk, those Everton fans so violent wan. No wonder last time Jamie Carragher also like to throw coins lar.

So of course lar Chris Coleman damn angry. Where got people play at home and kena coin from other people's supporter wan. He wagged his finger at BBC Online and said, "I hope the offender is identified. It was a coward who threw the coin. Send him to prison or somewhere away from football." (BBC Online)

Oh, but wait, apparently David Moyes says it MAY NOT have been an Everton fan who threw to coin!!!

(BBC Online:)
Everton boss David Moyes echoed Coleman's sentiments but said: "It's unsavoury when that happens but behind that goal were mixed fans."

Moyes insisted it had not been proven that it was an Everton fan who threw the coin at Jensen.

The Everton boss said: "You have to accept there is as much chance of it being a Fulham supporter. He could have been aiming somewhere else. It could have been another player he was trying to hit."

Oh yes, right. Claus Jensen was standing at the CORNER FLAG when he got hit by the coin. the Everton players were DEFENDING THEIR GOAL. There was NO ONE near Jensen at the time, besides the Linesman.

That means.... if we go by Moyes' explaination... then some Fulham dude could have been damn pissed off at the LINESMAN (maybe he slept with his wife or something), and in a moment of madness, decided to throw a coin at the linesman, but MISSED and hit Jensen right in the head instead.

OR, maybe the idiot was aiming at some Everton player nearer the goal, but just as he was about to throw the coin, the hot dog guy must have jostled his arm, and he ended up throwing the coin in the OPPOSITE direction instead.

In that case, the thrower really SHOULD be banned, not because of his violent action, but because he is such a lousy shot, and thus, an embarassment to all football fans all over the world.

Next time, learn from the best, like Jamie Carragher, who knew EXACTLY which stadium of Arsenal supporters he was throwing the coin back at....

(Carra: But I was just SHOWING them how to do it properly!)

PS: In other news, I vote KUYT for the vacant BOD post!!!

November 04, 2006

let's ban some books

No, wait.

Don't run away!

Come back!

This is still a football blog!

Or at least I think it is. Anyway, the word on the street is that some blogger peepur aren't happy that some random books out there are being banned. You may think that this has nothing to do with football, but it DOES!

One of the books listed that is 'Being Jordan'.

Now, that is a travesty indeed! See, we Malaysians are kinda fascinated with football, and the gomen spends millions and millions on trying to improve football in the country. But they fail to realise that Jordan has a shit load to do with football! I mean...she fucked Dwight Yorke and Teddy Sheringham for fucks sake!

Staying on the topic, there are however a few books which I don't think anybody would mourn the loss of. In these cases, they should be banned because they WILL honestly ruin us as a nation. Contrary to what some book fanatics might have you think, some books are just pure evil:

Wayne Rooney's My Story So Far
Anything that is produced by a boy who managed to grow a bushy beard at a mere 19 years old has got to be deemed extremely evil. Especially if that man-boy produces an autobiography at just 20 years old, and once had sex with a 55 year old prostitute who charged him £45. The story has it that he paid her £50 and patiently waited for her to get the change from a friend.

Should be banned because : It might promote disgusting sex crimes with geriatrics.

Cashley Cole's My Defence
Here, potential law students can learn to practice how NOT to defend something utterly ridiculous. Malaysians can also note a certain similarity here by someone who moans and groans about everything, even though it was his fault from the get go. Might be a good read for little kids (I mean 5 year olds) who throw tantrums just for not getting candy.

Should be banned because : The author allegedly took part in a gay orgy, which goes without saying is a very very bad thing that can lead to moral degradation of our society, you know.

Any David Beckham book
Look, here is a man who goes around in public wearing a sarong and pink nail varnish (really). He talks like a rat nibbling at something, got all whinny when a tiny football boot hit him on the head, and is basically everything that is wrong with football.

Should be banned because : Reading books (allegedly) written by him will guarantee a permanent IQ reduction of 50 points.

Please feel free to add to this community service message and petition for more ridiculous books to be banned.....

November 01, 2006

It's Hard to Hate Someone...

...who comes up with quotes like these:

"Places like this are the soul of English football. The crowd is magnificent, saying '**** off Mourinho' and so on." - bless those Sheffield united fans (BBC Online)

"In the first leg we played Barcelona without two goalkeepers and now we may have to play them without two strikers. But it's OK, I take the bus. Only defenders and midfield players and I take the bus." - HUH???? (BBC Online)

"It's not easy for the referee to be always under pressure from the players, turning round and rolling on the pitch." - the referee must have been having a lot of fun... (Football 365)

"There are three great teams and one team who looks like they cannot make any points. When everybody gets six points against Levski [Sofia], it makes the group more difficult." - Poor Levski Sofia (Football 365)

"I spoke to him. I was speaking English and then changed to French on purpose and he changed with me at the same time." - one more knock on the head and Cech'll be speaking Russian or Chinese instead! (BBC Online)

'It was a yellow card for Lamps and it was always a yellow card for Lamps." - yeah, and the referee seemed pretty gleeful when he was giving it (Soccernet):

(picture of gleeful yellow giving ref from BBC Online)