February 28, 2006

¡Paré!

So that's it then. The feller who presided over the acquisition of Zidane, Ronaldo, Figo, Beckham, Robinho et alia has quit.

Real rocked as Pérez resigns

Perez resigns as Madrid president

So much for the galacticos of Madrid. So who will be the new team of galacticos? The popular vote would most likely go to Liverpool.

After all, with galacticos like Crouch, Kewell, Steven "The Man" Gerrard, Traore, Dudek et alia; who could argue with their galactico status? Don't you reckon?

Toodles

February 27, 2006

looosers

From the (sort of) joy from last night, I was in a happy mood and wasn't about to diss Liverpool. Unfortunately, dear Eyeris had to provoke me.

So folks, allow me to present to you the players who played in the Carling Cup this season AND got dumped out at the first hurdle against Crystal Palace.



Technically folks, a Mickey Mouse Cup is a cup which nobody else wants and hence should be very easy to win (like the version Scum won alongside their plastic treble. However, looking at the players who played in the defeat above, me thinks Rafa really wanted to win, no??

So lemme get this straight. You wanted to win a Mickey Mouse Cup - the easiest of ALL cups, BUT you failed at the first hurdle??

As my good friend Lucy would say..


In fact, dear Lucy even went as far as to come up with an anology of all this. Its like a fat geek loser who got dumped by his girlfriend and being the loser and failure that he is, he decided to take the easy way out by committing suicide. He tried to hang himself but the rope snapped, which effectively makes him an even bigger loser since he can't succeed at the simplest task...

And so we have it folks...Liverpool are like losers who want to win the Mickey Mouse Cup but can't.

Well done lads.

I shall now leave you with a message from a smart little 9 year old who hates Liverpool too...










Much Rejoicing














February 26, 2006

wudn't ye loov it

If Wigan won the Carling Cup this season?

In some ways it would be a nice little reward to Paul Jewell and his mob, for the sheer effort that they've put into their first season in the premiership. In other ways it gives hope to all (and ammo to the anti-Chelsea brigade) that clubs can still win trophies without having three truckloads of cash.

I'd certainly loov it if Wigan won. ManYoo would still make it into Europe next season anyways, and it's not as if Fergie or ManYoo fans care too much about the Carling Cup. Unless, of course, I'm wrong about that last bit.

UPDATE: Wigan got screwed in the behind during the final. Rooney went for a double-banger. I'm sure there are a few Wigan bums that are hurting today, despite my best efforts to jinx the Mancs by inviting one of their fans to "watch" the final at my place.

***************

Chelsea are having a blip at the moment, and our treble target is wobbling a little bit. Last night's win against Portsmouth was nice, if not brilliant, but at least we're still on track for the treble. We'll just have to score at least two goals and win at Nou Camp.

Let us pray, Chelsea fans.

***************

Liverpool beating ManYoo in the FA Cup last weekend, after never managing it for 85 years, proves that history has no meaning. Scousers would do well to learn the same lesson.

There it is then, the dare is done.

Toodles

February 23, 2006

Where's that patch of sand?

(I just realised my PPS ping was for MY blog, and not THIS one... oops... )

So, since I'm back, I might as well do a recap of what's been going on.

FA Cup:
Liverpool thru, at the expense of er... some club. Chelsea to play Newcastle Comedy Club in next round. Woot.

Champion's League:
Liverpool AND Chelsea BOTH LOST. Chelsea lost to Barca AT HOME (wonder if the potato patch was Rijkaard's friend as well), and Liverpool lost to Benfica AWAY, 1-0 (good thing we didn't need the points to go thru eh?).

ARSENAL won at REal Madrid 1-0, and should fancy their chances, while the other English team left in the competition... oh wait. there IS no other English team left in the competition.

Oops. Malunya gua. Where's that patch of sand? I need to bury my head in it.

-----------------------------------------------------

In other news, oh, woe is me. I just realised the extent of my Liverpool Jinx.

Liverpool only ever win big games when I'm OUT OF THE COUNTRY, or am completely oblivious that the game is going on.

For Example:
  • Last season's Champion's League Semi Finals: When Liverpool beat (or as Tiger would have you say 'beat') Chelsea 1-0, I was in SINGAPORE.
  • LAst season's Champion's League FINAL (lets not say who won, suspense sikit lar, and kesian all those who wanted to dent the trophy themselves), I was in KOREA.
  • Last mid-week's Arsenal game: I completely forgot they were playing on Wednesday MORNING, and when I woke up in the morning, I saw that Liverpool had WON.
  • Last weekend's FA Cup game against... some team: Liverpool won 1-0 (heh), and I was in BALI.
  • The Benfica match a few nights ago that we lost? It was my FIRST DAY BACK from Bali. GAH!
So, I'm wondering whether I should just take an off day next Tuesday/Wednesday, and then come to Singapore for the SOLE PURPOSE of watching the game. After all, you never know, right? eheh. Maybe they have a bigger patch of sand for me to hide there...

February 22, 2006

where art thou?

Yooohoo.....

So let's get this right. Liverpool beat Manyoo, just a few weeks after losing to them, by the same score I might add. Liverpool fans taunt Manyoo fans. All is cool.

Ok, then we go further back in time. Manyoo lose to Benfica. British press says that Benfica are shite, hence losing to Benfica means you are shittier. And because of that, Liverpool fans taunt Manyoo fans. And then fast forward a couple of months....Liverpool lose to the same 'shitty' Benfica. The same Benfica whom they claimed were the best luck of the draw. Ditto the stupid British press.

And then, suddenly the gung-ho Scousers have nothing much to say. But it's alright. I understand, if I was a Liverpool fan, I would be busy doing this:


February 21, 2006

BANNED!

"YOU ARE UNABLE TO ACCESS THIS WEBPAGE DUE TO THE EXCESSIVE PROFANITY FOUND ON THIS PAGE"

.... Or something like that... This was the message I received while trying to access Hantu Bola from my boss punya PC.... I hope the IT Dept didn't blacklist his PC...

(I don't have Internet access on my PC in view of my rank as Senior Machai)

February 20, 2006

ouch

I don't know about you guys, but I suddenly went into a sudden craze and started digging up pictures of horrific football injuries. Whichever football website you read, you might have encountered two injuries that rate as 'one of the worst of all time'. I remember watching the video of Henrik Larsson breaking his leg quite recently.

Then, there is the clear 'winner'. Without a doubt the worst ever injury on the pitch. The one David Busst. No, I did not watch it as it happened - I hadn't even started watching football then. However, in one of the preview shows leading up to a league weekend a few seasons ago while Coventry were still in the Premiership, they did a special interview with David Busst. That of course include a video clip of the said injury, which somehow got past the Censorship Board even though parts of Terminator 2 got censored.

Well, for the uninformed, here are a few quick points about the injury (blatantly ripped off from football365.com)

Only those of you with a strong constitution should continue reading.

Busst’s injury, suffered at Old Trafford as a Coventry City player in 1994, is widely regarded as the most horrific seen on these shores.

Even a quick resume of the facts surrounding the injury is enough to turn the stomach:

- Shattered, Busst's right leg was broken to such an extent that it was turned back at an angle of approximately 90 degrees with both his tibia and fibula snapped in half.

- Upon seeing the injury, ManYoo's Peter Schmeichel vomited on the pitch. Traumatised, Schmeichel required counselling.

- Busst required 22 operations just to have his leg saved from amputation.

- The match was delayed for around fifteen minutes while the Old Trafford groundstaff cleared away the blood.

- Brian McClair, reputedly close to tears, continued to hold Busst's hands as he was stretchered off. The player, who now works for Coventry City, later told The Daily Telegraph: "I could see the crowd clapping and cheering in sympathy but I couldn't hear them above the noise of my screams. It was frighteningly painful and I knew that something major was wrong. It felt as though a part of me which should have been there was missing."

- To quote from the newspaper: 'At Hope Hospital, Salford, Ross [the surgeon who first operated on the player] gently removed Busst's boot, before peeling back sock and shin-guard to reveal a shard of bone sticking through the bloodied skin midway between knee and ankle like a white arrowhead. Still fully conscious, Busst then experienced the unique sensation of shattered bone being manipulated back inside his leg and straightened before an external splint could be fitted and a pain-killing injection finally administered.'

- Busst has never played football again and still walks with a limp.

And after much effort testing my patience in Google, I finally managed to find a picture of the horrific injury...

(click for the full sized image)

alan smith's leg


“When I looked down the leg was lying one way and my ankle was pointing towards Hong Kong — so I knew I was in serious trouble. But the doctors are very positive.”

(Picture sourced from The Sun, UK. Article link)

February 19, 2006

Look Ma! I'm Posting!

Ya, ya .. it's been a while since I posted cause I damn malas.

So since it's also very late and I am sleepy, I'm just gonna irritate Vincent and go:

STEVEN GERRARD IS SO CUTE
and how come ManU still talking Hari Ini Dalam Sejarah?



Reds Dump United out of Cup
Liverpool beats Man U, Relive it Minute by Minute

February 18, 2006

manchester united 2 - 1 liverpool


In years to come they will still talk about this match.

The match where Ole Gunnar Solskjaer scored the winner in stoppage time to complete one of the most remarkable Manchester United's comebacks ever.

Liverpool were just two minutes away from a famous FA Cup triumph after Michael Owen had scored in the third minute. For 88 minutes they had withstood everything United could throw at them including two chances when Roy Keane hit the post.

But just when it seemed the visitors would end their 78-year long wait to beat United in the FA Cup, Andy Cole fed Dwight Yorke to score the equaliser. If that were not cruel enough on Liverpool, substitute Solskjaer popped up in the first minute of stoppage time to send the Old Trafford faithful into heaven.




Hahaha....you stupid scouse scum! 78 years ok..that's even older than my grandmother!

Nyek Nyek!

Now give me back my hubcabs!

how to beat united

How to beat Manchester United in 5 easy steps

by Rafael Benitez

1) If that Ronaldo bloke is showing signs of having a good game, kick him a few times. If he is still showing signs of exposing good ol' Finnan, get the German ruffian with the crooked nose and the Momo bloke to kick him some more. This should all be done in the first 15 minutes.

2) Put a tall bloke in the front. Preferably taller than the United defenders. Keep lumping high balls towards the tall bloke. Guaranteed success. Bully the new Serbian bloke, whatever the fuck his name is and whereever the fuck he came from.

3) Dress Harry like a girl and put him on Gary Neville's wing. Remember to ask Jamie to help him with his hair. If it gets a little too long, ask one of the Spanish pretty boys to help. They have a fair bit of experience in girl's hairstyles. That ought to distract that Neville bloke for a bit.

4) Run like bulls. Steven is good at this. I think he grew up in a farm. I hear when they slaughter chickens, after they cut off the heads, the chickens run around for a bit. That rude striker of theirs is a little lazy, so running around like a bull helps a lot.

5) Influence the mob crowd. Even if it is the 50th minute of the game, and when the ball goes into the crowd, get the crowd to play monkey with the United skipper. They are good at it too. All those years of stealing hubcaps have paid off. Convince a few of them to throw away their half eaten hamburgers too. Maybe the smell would put off the captain.


Bonus tip : Even after it is clear that you have won the game, and a crazy United player gets very badly injured, ask the mob to half-heartedly applaud him as they carry him off. This is to show that we are good sportsmen.

February 16, 2006

MyTeam is gonna win! Wait, Shebby is the coach? Oh. Forget it then....

The Serbegeth Singh Issue: KJ: I am sorry

(link courtesy of Cakap Tak Serupa Bikin)

EXECUTIVE producer Khairy Jamaluddin has apologised for MyTeam coach Serbegeth Singh's "unfortunate remarks that Football Association of Malaysia (FAM) had put its foot in its mouth by agreeing to the national team playing against MyTeam in May.


Wait a minute.... A MyTeam of amateurs to take on FAM's National team? WOW! What a great idea! Finally all those Ronaldo and Beckham wannabes in the numerous futsal pitches all over KL have a chance to go to the SEA Games and lose to Laos!

Anyone wanna bet a fiver that the FAM team loses?

February 15, 2006

GYAHAHA! A win over a non-issue!

(picture taken from Soccernet.com)


Liverpool 1 - 0 Arsenal


Late-gasp Garcia


HAHA!
MY TEAM WON!
YOUR TEAM LOST!!!!!
BUAHAHAHA!!!



(Sorry Naz, couldn't resist it. heehee)

February 14, 2006

happy valentine's day


Who told you footballers aren't just a tad...gay?


(click the picture for the full-sized image)

February 13, 2006

eh eh

Some say Sunday is a day of rest. Others say Sunday is for recovering from Saturday night hangovers. Then there are those who come around here on a Sunday morning looking for new posts on Chelsea. Relax-lah eager beaver; come have a beer on me. Enjoy it while I recover from Saturday and Sunday nights.

***************

Kena pwned by the Boro 3-0. It's a fucking disaster. That makes the number of losses this season double that of last season. Oh no, oh no, oh no, how are we supposed to win the league at this rate? Our lead at the top is now only 12 points. It should be 50 by this time of the season. We've already conceded 16 goals this season. 16 goals conceded! What a fucking disaster.

Yeah, right.

***************

On the bright side, Arsenal and ManYoo have also been pwned at the Riverside Stadium this season. The bad news is, Sunderland actually won against Boro on the very same ground. *slaps forehead*

Eyeris probably asked the most interesting question on Saturday night: using up your quota of losses izit?

Our next game is against Colchester in the FA Cup. Steve McMahon reckons "poor Colchester". He makes a valid point. Since we lost on Saturday because of attitude, then attitude is what needs to be shown in the next match. Before we face up against Barca.

Toodles

February 12, 2006

Where are yous?

Wow!! Its almost 12 hours since the last Chelsea game and there's no Chelsea-related post? WHERE ARE THE CHELSEA FANS???

Oh wait... I forgot you only SING WHEN YOU'RE WINNING!!! You only SING WHEN YOU'RE WINNING!!!

Or did you misplace your Russian songlist?

February 10, 2006

selling out

I read with interest the apparent speculation that the lovely Americans might put the Old Trafford stadium name up for sale. And surprise surprise, those pissy Brits aren't really happy about it...

As for me, I can't really give a hoot. It's just a name that's just a name. Arsenal have their Emirates stadium, Bolton have their Reebok stadium. It's a chance for extra dough and and any good businessmen should take advantage of that. I mean...it's not as if the rest of the clubs have a Russian sugardaddy to steal from poor Russian kids. For Manyoo, those American blokes need to get money from somewhere since they are heavily in debt, so I say, let's call it Nike Stadium or some shit like that.

As for pride and tradition......utter rubbish. Do you remember that once upon a time the player's jerseys didn't have sponsors' names? So much for 'pride of the people' eh? Up until a few season's ago (3, I think), Real Madrid didn't have any sponsors for their jersey. Didn't want to tarnish the holy shirt it seemed. A mud pie back at their faces. And the last big European club not to have a 'stained' shirt? Dear ol' Barcelona. Too bad they sold out already. You'll get to see a sponsor next season.....

I am telling you, and mark my words.........sooner or later, every stadium in Europe will bear the name of a corporate sponsor.

February 09, 2006

counting chickens

Dear Scousers,

Allow me to educate you.

These are eggs.



This is a chicken.


Before the eggs can turn into chickens, they have to hatch. Often it is unwise to count your chickens before the eggs hatch. For example, if we have 3 eggs as above, we might not necessarily end up with 3 chickens.

This is because something terrible might happen to the eggs.




This lesson was proudly brought to you by your friendly neighbourhood Devil,

Vincent




On a sidenote, there was another headline that caused me to burst out laughing even more than the obvious Liverpool scoreline.


February 08, 2006

Shebby would be proud

Tottenham Hotspurs have just won their first trophy in a long time. In fact, it's the first one to be won this season.

Congratulations to the Spurs.

Toodles

[pic from The Sun UK]

Zonal marking, tactics, and other intellectual stimulation

While Eyeris will insist that this blog be kept free from intellectually stimulating debates and rational discourse on football, we should be mindful that one can't always go on forever with the "MY TEAM WON! YOUR TEAM SUCKS!" mentality.

So to appease those of us with at least half-a-brain, here are some links to keep you entertained and your mental faculties engaged for a while - at least until the next round of matches.

In Rafa's defence
An interesting article in which Liverpool legend Alan Hansen and former Leeds manager and ex FA technical director Howard Wilkinson discuss Rafa Benitez's zonal marking system (which failed rather badly dealing with Chelsea's first goal at the weekend).

Formation: what's in a formation?
A series of interesting articles dissecting the various common tactical formations like the ubiquitous 4-4-2, 4-4-1-1, 4-5-1, 4-3-3, and 5-3-2.

The discussion of tactics is probably more interesting for those of us playing Championship Manager or Football Manager (I personally have been using 4-1-3-2 or 4-1-2-1-2 in my current FM2005 games, and it's been working out pretty well).

February 07, 2006

Its been a while...

As the title says, its been quite sometime since my last post (oklah, let's call it "our" since Skay's name goes along with mine)... Although I'm not sure if anyone realised that... Anyway, the long absence was actually me just suffering in silence. Let's face it. My team is at the moment, shite (in case people forgot, its Arsenal).

Its like one of those Hollywood "Sports-Comedy" movies like Major League or Bad News Bears where the team is made up of a bunch of discontent, weary and lost souls running around the field with their heads cut off. There's the Superstar who probably feels he's going nowhere with the team. There's the love sick-heartbroken stalwart on the verge of being a has-been. There's the old genius who's about to bow out. There's the kid (or in this case, kids) who's got so much promise but still has got a lot to prove. And also there's one defensive midfielder who was never any good playing even worse than he normally does.

Well, its been a tough week with the two cup exits. But the win against Birmingham should, would could, MAY start the ball rolling again.

But in spite of our rather pitiful state, I have to say that so far, Arsene has proven he has to the nose for talent again with the signing of Diaby. He's tall, he's strong, he's got good technique and he's French with an African heritage. Kinda reminds you of someone else doesn't he?

DIABY OH OH OOOOOOH DIAAAAABY OH OH OOOOOOH!!!

yawn

Red & Blue Muppets

by Vincent Lau


All the big talk by the Liverpool players before the game against Chelsea succeeded in nothing except getting their faces plastered in mud pie. At the end of it, instead of disecting their flaws, Rafael Benitez chose to blame Arjen Robben over an incident which was inconsequencial towards the outcome of the game.

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, which is why I never complain of divers since Ronaldo and Van Nistelrooy are clear experts at the art. As for Benitez, he should probably have a chat with Gerrard about crazy tackles and Kewell about play acting.

But truth be told, it was an absolutely horrendous match to watch. Liverpool are no where near champion material (bar the fluke of the Champions League and the subsequent delusions of grandeur), and Chelsea while they are without a doubt the most efficient team by a mile, they are no where as near as entertaining as Manchester United were at their prime, and Arsenal at theirs.

Of course the odd Chelsea fan would point to their superior goal difference and their goals-for column, but you have to question the validity of those statistics when their top scorer is a midfielders and half of his goals come from penalties and deflected shots.

And of course Liverpool fans would point to the obvious (dented) Cup in their trophy cabinet, but they forgot that is a cup competition where consistency is not as important as the league. Fresh from the victory in the Champions League during the summer, everybody concerned with Liverpool were shrouded with delusions of grandeur and easily forgot that they were actually quite rubbish in the league.

Arsenal, irrelevant to the title race as they are at the moment can still kick up an entertaining display when they are on form. Henry is of course a genius, and when you throw and in-form Bergkamp, Pires and Ljungberg, they are nothing short of entertaining. Manchester United, as troubled as their defence is, and as erratic as Ronaldo is, can always be counted upon to provide entertainment. After all, a team containing Rooney and Van Nistelrooy will no doubt score.

But when you look at Chelsea's best player that is Frank Lampard, it is hard to call him the world's best player. When Real Madrid sold Makalele, Florentino Perez described him as 'useless'. "He can't head, he can't dribble, and he can't pass the ball further than 10 feet," said Perez.

Senor Perez aside, nobody in the right mind would call Makalele useless. He is world class in his position, yet I would struggle to describe him as 'entertaining'. The same goes for Lampard. He can shoot, he can dribble, he can deliver a 60 yard pass while looking the other way, but he doesn't entertain you as much as Ronaldinho or heck, even Christiano Ronaldo. In that sense, Lampard and Makalele are the epitome of Chelsea's success. Efficient and world class, but no where near entertaining.

As for the one man team of Steven Gerrard, one distinct word pops to mind. His work rate and energy makes him a BULL. And therefore, Liverpool are best described as that - bulls. Of course, bulls are not very fun, and are only entertaining to watch when they are goaded by their opponents, very much like in bull-fighting. And as we all know, in bull-fights, the bull ALWAYS loses.

February 06, 2006

WFKAR

The Wuss/Wanker Formerly Known As Robben (or alternatively the WFKAR) is said to be alive and well today after yesterday's brush with Pepe Reina's Hand of Death.

The incident created controversy among many, with Rafa Benitez expressing concern and wanting to cut short the post-match press conference in order to visit WFKAR in hospital:
I’m in a hurry,” he said as he walked into the press conference. “I have to go to the hospital because Robben seemed to be so seriously injured that maybe he will be there for a week, maybe a few weeks, maybe he has broken his neck, I don’t know.


Mourinho, though, couldn't care less:
"Out of nine against Liverpool in one-and-a-half years we've lost one, and this was also a game that proved we're the best team in the country. So I am so happy about all these things."


Here, though, are the harrowing moments leading up to the event that nearly cost WFKAR's life:


Pepe Reina, in an attempt to silence WFKAR's rantings about how the Dutch liked hairy women, executed his patent-pending Spanish Hand of Death move on the Chelsea winger. The move was done so skillfully that it appeared to all who were unfamiliar with Spanish Kung-Fu to assume that he had merely touched WFKAR's face.


WFKAR collapsed to the ground in a fit of agony. Such is the power and venom of the Spanish Hand of Death Kung-Fu that no eunuch could stand it standing up. As he fell to the ground, the effects of that lethal attack worked its way down WFKAR's throat to his groin, where all evidence of his gender withered away into dust. When paramedics removed his clothing at the hospital later, they had to brush away all the debu and habuk in his shorts. The field marked 'Sex' in the hospital forms filled in when WFKAR was brought in simply states 'Undetermined'.


The referee, himself a secret proponent of the Spanish Kung-Fu recognised the deed for what it was: a cold-blooded homicide attempt. He had no choice but to do the only thing possible - send the keeper off. Of course, to take further action like reporting to the secret Spanish Kung-Fu brethren is not possible, since Spanish Kung-Fu does not allow tattling.

Anyway, this was also why when Gallas shoved his hand on Reina's face that the ref did not send the Frenchman off, because he knew that Gallas wasn't being as violent as Reina and instead was just trying to flirt with Reina.

So now let us all take a moment to wish WFKAR well and hope he makes a speedy recovery from what was obviously a traumatic and dangerous attack on his life.

Noodles

P.S. Some old Blogger posts have gone missing - apparently Google/Blogger are having some server problems. There's a recommendation at bloggerforum.com to back up all Blogger posts ASAP before the scheduled outage and maintenance work later today. BACKUP NOW!

It's so quiet this morning

Why lah so quiet around here this morning? What happened; was there some catastrophic disaster overnight? What, what, stock market koyak izit?



Oh. Liddat. No wonder lah. Pity the scousers. Dreams of league success in flames. Down the toilet. Flushed like last night's cheese naan.

*mwahahahahahahahaha*

Come lah, donch cry my scouse darlings. Come, come, let's sing a song, shall we?

No? Dowan to sing? Come then, let's look at some nice photographs instead.

See how stunned Reina looks as Crespo lets loose a shot? If you look closely, you can actually make out that Reina is wetting his shorts at that precise moment. How gay is that? Reina even tried to bitch-slap Robben later on, but his effort was so weak the referee had no choice but to send him off for behaving like some pondan throwing a tantrum.

Like I've mentioned before, the league title race could be over the day after Valentine's. That's next week, you know.

I really shouldn't gloat today. I can just feel karma itching to bite me in the backside with this crap.

Toodles

Bah. I don't wanna talk about it.

Oops, there go our (VERY faint) hopes of catching Chelsea. Credit where it's due, the way we conceded the goals AND failed to even come CLOSE to scoring ourselves, Liverpool probably deserved to lose that game.

Also, Crespo and Makelele were superb last night. Our attacks were broken up by Makalele so often that I was wishing someone would break his leg halfway through.

HOWEVER, Robber Robben has now made it on my list of most hated footballers. Fucking idiot kept provoking Liverpool players, and come on, Reina's 'slap' would have hardly have floored ANYONE the way fucking Robben fell down. You fucking PUSSY WANKING BALDING OVERACTOR!

And Peter Crouch? You are FUCKING USELESS. Either start learning to score with your NECK, or give up your place to someone (like Morientes) who CAN head the bloody ball properly... TOWARDS GOAL!

February 04, 2006

Sing Us A Song, Give Us Your Bong

The original post was posted by Sashi, but it sesated when Blogger had some problems over the weekend... but here it is again..._

In response to Mr Rodrigo's creative songwriting abilities, here's something to chant for all you non-glory-hunters who'll be watching the big match this weekend.

F**k off Chelski F.C,
You aint got no history,
5 european cups and 18 leagues,
that's what we call history!!!!

London Bridge is falling down!
Falling down! Falling down!
London Bridge is falling down,
Poor old Chelski !
Build it up with red and white,
red and white, red and white.
Build it up with red and white
Poor old Chelski!

One team in Russia,
there's only one team in Russia.

Where were you,
where were you.
where were you when you were shite?

Did the ball go in?
Did the ball go out?
In, Out, In Out, The Kop were in no doubt,
The Scousers went to Turkey and Chelsea were out,
Thats what it's all about!!!

Can't buy Gerrard
Money can't buy Gerrard....

Where were you? Where were you?
Where were you in Istanbul?
Where were you in Istanbul?

February 03, 2006

something for this weekend

Come and learn a new song to sing this Sunday night, or during any Liverpool game for that matter:

You are a scouser, a fucking scouser,
whingers and whiners,

your gaffer's gay;
You think you're legends,
you're really wankers,
please don't take my hubcaps away...


[repeat until three scouser fans start crying]

*mwahahahaha*

Perhaps I should be praying instead. No matter, if Chelsea take three points on Sunday night, the title race to become 2005/06 Premiership Champions will be one match away from being decided.

Toodles

[photo of a frustrated wannabe scouser was googled]

so long, sucker!

Graeme Souness was the pre-season favourite for the sack race. Even that one he couldn't win. Hence Souey joins the ranks of ex-scousers to have tried and failed at Newcastle United FC, which includes Kevin "Tora! Tora! Tora!" Keegan and Kenny "Chequebook" Dalglish.

So long, Sucker!

The highlight of Souey's tenure has to be that time he had to pretend to be a discipline teacher, and preside over a post-match press conference where Dyer and Bowyer had to make public apologies.

I guess if Newcastle fans want a slogan, it should be YAWN. That's right NUFC folks, You Always Win Nothing.

Toodles

February 02, 2006

The League of One and The Actual League

Woke up this morning and saw this result:

Aston Villa 1 - 1 Chelsea

YAY! But wait... Don't so happy yet...
Read samor...

Liverpool 1 - 1 Birmingham City

Bah. Of all the times to conceded an own goal.
Oh well, there's always THIS result to keep me happy:

Blackburn 4 - 3 Manchester Utd

Yay!
And one more for the record:

Arsenal 2 - 3 West Ham United

Repeat after me: NON-ISSUE.

Basket, just when Chelsea drop points, everyone else draws or loses. Why don't we all just give Chelsea the league trophy now eh

Then the FA can make a NEW one, call it the 'Actual League', and make Chelsea the annual winners of their very own LEAGUE OF ONE.

February 01, 2006

FA Cup Fifth Round Draw

Preston/Crystal Palace v Coventry/Middlesbrough

Newcastle v Southampton

Aston Villa v Manchester City

Everton/Chelsea v Colchester

Charlton v Brentford

Liverpool v Manchester United

Bolton v West Ham

Stoke v Reading/Birmingham


The tie of the round is obviously Liverpool v Manchester United but I think that Bolton v West Ham might be a good match as well. As for Newcastle, the FA Cup seems to be Graeme Souness's saving grace so it's probably imperative for him to make some sort of progress in the FA Cup and with some of his players returning from injury, he'll be running out of excuses soon!