June 24, 2006

Martian Theory

This stunning piece of literary CRAP was published on The Star's citizen's blog yesterday (Friday) and even on the hardcopy newspaper itself with the writer winnning the RM50 prize for the article of the day.

Project Malaysia World Cup 2010
Posted by: Ko-Lyn Nga, 22-Jun-2006

Like most Malaysian football fans, we harbour the hopes of seeing Malaysia playing in the World Cup Finals at least once in our lifetime. However, with the present set-up, there will be no way Malaysians will get to see their national football team participating in the greatest tournament in the world. We can spend millions or billions of ringgit but we'll not succeed because time and time again, the mentality of football development in this country has not changed. We are in a vicious cycle of repeating past mistakes and until we start to think out of the box, we can even forget about qualifying for the Asian Football Finals.

Critical changes must be made where FAM, the present Premier League and the National Football team are concerned. The poor turnout in the latest Malaysian Cup Finals between Pahang and Perlis indicates that unless football in this country is improved, football fans are going to shy away from local matches. Especially when better football is being shown on TV focusing on English Premier Leagues etc. On a brighter note, the fans have also indicated that they would continue to support football teams who gave their all in a football match. This is proven by the full house turnout in the match between the National Team and the MyTeam. - Can you believe that? 75000 fans turn out to see a match that doesn't bear any significance. Or rather ... maybe it does. You see, MyTeam represents the hopes of all Malaysian fans in this country. What can a bunch of nobodies produce against the elites of this country. And what we saw that night, there is hope yet for football in this country. However, for that hope to be converted to reality, FAM must first be ready to take drastic measures to revamp the present set-up.

[1] Disband the entire Premier League. Millions of ringgit will be saved. Used the millions to finance 6 National Teams : 2 Seniors, 2 Under 21s and 2 Under 16s National teams. Pay salaries to these players ( instead of State/Club paying salaries )

[2] Secure Corporate sponsors to organise Talent Competitions to seek out players for teams like the one we saw in MyTeam. I believe there are thousands of Malaysians who would give their all just for a chance to play against the National Teams. Then recruit from this pool of players and dump any National players who do not deserve their national jersey.

[3] Bring back the Merdeka Tournament and invite the best teams from Asia to take part, including European club teams.

[4] Give as many International Friendy matches to the national teams instead of players playing for their clubs or states.

Tell me, FAM .... if this would not build a great national football team for the country.

I sometimes HATE world cup season. Somehow all the idiots think they know loads come out with shitty stupid opinions and ideas. And for some fucking reason, the editor of that Star blog decided to reward stupidity by awarding him 50 bucks!

Alright...so let me get this straight. Einstein reckons that we can improve the standard of national football by DISBANDING the league and then getting our national team players to play against REALITY TV teams?!?

Fucking awesome idea, that.

I have heard of many awesome ideas in the past. Some people suggested that we should join our league with Thailand and Indonesia. Some other idiot also once told me that we should not let foreigners play in our league (oh no, wait..the FAM did that before).

While we're at it, should we also suggest to the English FA that their national team is quite shitty and they haven't won anything in 40 years....so they should just disband the premier league and get Wayne Rooney to play his football against a random pikey from the hood?

And why stop at Under-16 teams? Shouldn't there also be under-14 and under-12 and under-9 teams?


First we have women talking about football like its their life passion. Now we have aliens babbling some crappy Martian theory of stupidity and driving me insane. And since we are all in the habit of talking shit, how about I drive home an idea of mine?

Forget football.

The best we could do in our glory days was to qualify for the Olympics. Big deal. Why can't you monkeys understand that we probably aren't quite good enough? Yes, yes you can ramble on and on and on for ages about the players' and officials' mentality, how they are not mentally strong, or how we don't have a good youth system and all. But heck, here's the real problem:

We aren't fast enough and we certainly aren't big enough to play. Physical limitations, see? You can be the most skillful football team in the world, but if your tallest centre back is 5' 6", you are going to get fucked everytime there is a set piece. The ball can stick to your feet like Ronaldinho but you are going to get barged down in no time. Nothing we can do about it unless we muck around with the gene pool and breed some Martians (read : Yao Ming).

It's like that. You don't see Americans trying to be world class at badminton, do you? And the blacks from Africa...as good as they are runners, they will never be world class swimmers because of their heavy bones. Have you seen an African gymnast in the Olympics?

Stick to badminton, squash, bowling (both tenpin and lawn). Football ain't going to kick it. Don't delude yourselves by dreaming of the impossible. Ambitions are good. Fantasies are not. Malaysia getting the World Cup is a fantasy.

More importantly, don't write or splutter out shitty opinions which force me to bang my head against the wall.

I think this article is a hundred times better than the one above, so I demand that The Star pay me RM50 for it.

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