While most of the time we're keeping our eyes on the football in faraway England, we're also bloody proud to be celebrating our independence.
Selamat hari Merdeka, everyone.
(Speaking of which, I'm VERY surprised there was not a single post on the Pestabola Merdeka footie tournament here, derogatory or otherwise...)
p/s animax is on today.
August 31, 2006
be patriotic. support Malaysia!
I know we haven't been performing well in recent times.
I know our lack of success can be frustrating to us all.
I know some of our players haven't quite got the spirit to wear our jersey.
I know the top management is kind of fucked up and we don't quite like them - what the hell do they know about football??
I know that some of the kids playing for us these days can't fill the boots of the legends of the past.
Still, we should all be fans. Proper fans. We should support the team through thick and thin. If we supported the team when they were on a high, why can't we support them when they are in the pits? Are we really glory hunters?
This Merdeka Day, I appeal to all you Malaysians out there. Show some sense of patriotism..
Our team needs you.
I know our lack of success can be frustrating to us all.
I know some of our players haven't quite got the spirit to wear our jersey.
I know the top management is kind of fucked up and we don't quite like them - what the hell do they know about football??
I know that some of the kids playing for us these days can't fill the boots of the legends of the past.
Still, we should all be fans. Proper fans. We should support the team through thick and thin. If we supported the team when they were on a high, why can't we support them when they are in the pits? Are we really glory hunters?
This Merdeka Day, I appeal to all you Malaysians out there. Show some sense of patriotism..
Our team needs you.
Do the right thing...
Support Manchester United...
(and Malaysia too, of course!)
August 29, 2006
What does this tell you?
Hmmmm,
Interesting read.
In light of a recent match result at the Riverside, can anyone tell me something in 5 words or less?
As for what I have to say, you should know by now where to *look*.
Secret Note: Chelsea is cursed at Riverside.
UPDATE: I just realized something after looking at Portsmouth currently second in the table after Man Utd. Remember this? Coincidence? Heh, can I expect Fulham and Charlton to perform a wee bit better from now on?
Interesting read.
In light of a recent match result at the Riverside, can anyone tell me something in 5 words or less?
As for what I have to say, you should know by now where to *look*.
Secret Note: Chelsea is cursed at Riverside.
UPDATE: I just realized something after looking at Portsmouth currently second in the table after Man Utd. Remember this? Coincidence? Heh, can I expect Fulham and Charlton to perform a wee bit better from now on?
Selamat Hari Merdeka Pantuns
Vincent gemar menyamar beruk,
Din hebat pakar mencaci,
Tahi lembu kelab buruk,
Fans 'lansi' amat dibenci.
Harimau Joe makan kacang,
Kuat juga minum Jameson,
Kelab Chelski banyak kupang,
Will be relegated this bloody fucking season.
Harimau rimba gian ganas,
Kakak tua ketawa miang,
Bex, Scorkes gadis 'panas',
Kaum lelaki nampak pasti terlanggar tiang.
S-Kay adalah Naz's honey,
Sashi dan Simon suka main guli,
Bola Arsenal cantik pass sana-sini,
Mara ke gol lawan dan kembali lagi.
Eyeris banyak stamina berlari,
Sangat kerap bermain mata,
Kolam Hati kelab pencuri,
Tengok bola hilang kereta.
Pokok betik panjang akar,
anttyk gemar bercakap sendiri,
Kelab kartun sangat kelakar,
Serang musuh bolos gol sendiri.
Tupai gemuk malas berlari,
Perut buncit makan mi,
Bagai teratai wangi berseri,
Lily ratu hati kami.
Sekian. Pffffbbbrrrtt...
Din hebat pakar mencaci,
Tahi lembu kelab buruk,
Fans 'lansi' amat dibenci.
Harimau Joe makan kacang,
Kuat juga minum Jameson,
Kelab Chelski banyak kupang,
Will be relegated this bloody fucking season.
Harimau rimba gian ganas,
Kakak tua ketawa miang,
Bex, Scorkes gadis 'panas',
Kaum lelaki nampak pasti terlanggar tiang.
S-Kay adalah Naz's honey,
Sashi dan Simon suka main guli,
Bola Arsenal cantik pass sana-sini,
Mara ke gol lawan dan kembali lagi.
Eyeris banyak stamina berlari,
Sangat kerap bermain mata,
Kolam Hati kelab pencuri,
Tengok bola hilang kereta.
Pokok betik panjang akar,
anttyk gemar bercakap sendiri,
Kelab kartun sangat kelakar,
Serang musuh bolos gol sendiri.
Tupai gemuk malas berlari,
Perut buncit makan mi,
Bagai teratai wangi berseri,
Lily ratu hati kami.
Sekian. Pffffbbbrrrtt...
In Light of Recent Posts and Comments
I feel like posting.
Seriously. I've consumed way too much Coke Light .. and the caffeine is keeping me awake. So, it's me again, LA SCORKES, resident Scouser nonsense-poster.
You know, on the same night I watched the damning Liverpool-Sheffield United game in SOULed Out..
.....(The same place I was exposed to the really-cannot-make-it DAMN KAU ANNOYING theme song by Pop Shuvit in really toxic levels - GAH! *unpacks chainsaw* ) ...
SOMEONE from MANUre said to me, "You know hor, Man U got *so and so* and Chelsea got *so and so*. Who does LIVERPOOL have?"
WTF right? So kureng!
OK. I'll say this. Football's a TEAM effort. You just wait and see.
And people from MEN.UNITED should really take note of THE PRIDE OF MANCHESTER.
*disclaimer: please take note that this post is entirely meant to poke fun and ridicule MANure. In no way should this post be misconstrued to mean any harassment whatsoever towards respectable peoples of homosexual orientation.
Seriously. I've consumed way too much Coke Light .. and the caffeine is keeping me awake. So, it's me again, LA SCORKES, resident Scouser nonsense-poster.
You know, on the same night I watched the damning Liverpool-Sheffield United game in SOULed Out..
.....(The same place I was exposed to the really-cannot-make-it DAMN KAU ANNOYING theme song by Pop Shuvit in really toxic levels - GAH! *unpacks chainsaw* ) ...
SOMEONE from MANUre said to me, "You know hor, Man U got *so and so* and Chelsea got *so and so*. Who does LIVERPOOL have?"
WTF right? So kureng!
OK. I'll say this. Football's a TEAM effort. You just wait and see.
And people from MEN.UNITED should really take note of THE PRIDE OF MANCHESTER.
*disclaimer: please take note that this post is entirely meant to poke fun and ridicule MANure. In no way should this post be misconstrued to mean any harassment whatsoever towards respectable peoples of homosexual orientation.
August 28, 2006
Scousers mudah lupa?
Walau berbagai rintangan telah kami lalui di bawah naungan Houllier, walau telah 16 tahun kami ketandusan Piala League, Scousers tidak mudah lupa asal usul kami.
Walau apa yang orang kata, Kolam Hati tetap kelab bolasepak yang paling berjaya di England.
18 First Division Titles. 7 FA Cups .7 League Cups .5 UEFA Champions League Cups. 3 UEFA Cups.
Statistik tidak menipu.
Scouser tidak mudah lupa sejarah kami yang gilang-gemilang.
Sebab hanya Scousers Boleh! Kelab lain tak boleh.
Kolam Hati tetap di hati kami.
Bangunlah wahai Scousers semua. Perjuangan kita belum berakhir.
Tunggu dan lihat.
Revolusi Rafalution akan membawa Kolam Hati ke tahap tertinggi, sekali lagi. Kita akan merah menyala mara ke hadapan. Dengan harapan merah membara di hati.
Scousers tidak mudah lupa.
Kami juga tidak lupa kutukan pedas dan sindiran sinis lebih dari 10 tahun dari peminat Tahi Lembu and sejak 2 tahun kebelakangan ini, peminat Orang Kaya Baru.
Dan kamu juga tidak sepatutnya lupa reputasi kami sebagai peminat paling samseng.
Awas!
Kami akan curi hubcab kamu dan belasah buntut kamu baik-baik!
Kerana Scousers tidak mudah lupa.
Dan kami tidak berjalan seorang diri.
Saya yang menurut perintah,
Lily Liverbird,
Setiausaha Sulit
Kelab Scouser HantuBola.
Walau apa yang orang kata, Kolam Hati tetap kelab bolasepak yang paling berjaya di England.
18 First Division Titles. 7 FA Cups .7 League Cups .5 UEFA Champions League Cups. 3 UEFA Cups.
Statistik tidak menipu.
Scouser tidak mudah lupa sejarah kami yang gilang-gemilang.
Sebab hanya Scousers Boleh! Kelab lain tak boleh.
Kolam Hati tetap di hati kami.
Bangunlah wahai Scousers semua. Perjuangan kita belum berakhir.
Tunggu dan lihat.
Revolusi Rafalution akan membawa Kolam Hati ke tahap tertinggi, sekali lagi. Kita akan merah menyala mara ke hadapan. Dengan harapan merah membara di hati.
Scousers tidak mudah lupa.
Kami juga tidak lupa kutukan pedas dan sindiran sinis lebih dari 10 tahun dari peminat Tahi Lembu and sejak 2 tahun kebelakangan ini, peminat Orang Kaya Baru.
Dan kamu juga tidak sepatutnya lupa reputasi kami sebagai peminat paling samseng.
Awas!
Kami akan curi hubcab kamu dan belasah buntut kamu baik-baik!
Kerana Scousers tidak mudah lupa.
Dan kami tidak berjalan seorang diri.
Saya yang menurut perintah,
Lily Liverbird,
Setiausaha Sulit
Kelab Scouser HantuBola.
Another Weekend, Another Comeback...
SOMEONE SMSed me in the middle of the Liverpool West Ham match to say:
Scousers lurve 2 cum fr behind, eh?
To which I replied:
Well, it's better than letting others cum from behind...
Anyway, it was a good win. Even if we had to come back from a (freak) goal down. Agger's goal was brilliant; Crouch's goal was ... er... surprising; Kuyt's debut was great - he looked VERY sharp and dangerous. But it's his first game and he didn't score, so we'll see. After all, guys like Diouf scored in THEIR first games and look where THEY ended up...
Anyway, I'm liking the new signings so far. Bellamy is making the front line look dangerous for once, Gonzales and Pennant are doing a much better job down the wings, and Aurelio has been consistent so far.
Anyway, a bad weekend for the Gooners (First Aston Villa, now Man City???) and the Toons (told you Karma's a woman, Anttyk) And godammit, Watford should have at least gotten a draw. Bah. I hate Giggs.
Scousers lurve 2 cum fr behind, eh?
To which I replied:
Well, it's better than letting others cum from behind...
Anyway, it was a good win. Even if we had to come back from a (freak) goal down. Agger's goal was brilliant; Crouch's goal was ... er... surprising; Kuyt's debut was great - he looked VERY sharp and dangerous. But it's his first game and he didn't score, so we'll see. After all, guys like Diouf scored in THEIR first games and look where THEY ended up...
Anyway, I'm liking the new signings so far. Bellamy is making the front line look dangerous for once, Gonzales and Pennant are doing a much better job down the wings, and Aurelio has been consistent so far.
Anyway, a bad weekend for the Gooners (First Aston Villa, now Man City???) and the Toons (told you Karma's a woman, Anttyk) And godammit, Watford should have at least gotten a draw. Bah. I hate Giggs.
August 26, 2006
What Manchester United means to me...
It all started in 1998.
I was a 15-year old in Form 3, and it was just a few days after the World Cup. I wasn't a sports fan or anything, which is why I don't watch any football (and really suck at those Pendidikan Jasmani sessions in school because I have no idea of sports physics). Basically just a nerd and stuff I guess.
My dad owns a mini-market and every night, I would jaga the counter together-gether with my old man. We don't usually talk much since I was a rebellious teenager and stuff. We weren't in the best of financials either. So my dad and I were in the depressed zone together-gether. Heck, I thought our world will be over since it would be so depressing and stuff. Those were enduring times.
Then came August 1998. The brand new season of the EPL swung into action. I have always known my old man is a stauch Manchester United supporter. He sometimes wears a replica Man Utd jersey in the shop. Of course, we never talked about football before. But then there was one day Man Utd won against some other club and he was happy for the whole day after that. I was also ditching the rebellious phase I was in so I asked him what was up and all. Then he began talking about the match last night. I listened attentively as he then went on and talked about Ryan Giggs, David Beckham, Paul Scholes, Peter Schemeichel, Roy Keane and so on. He also mentioned George Best, Dennis Law and Eric Cantona. He mentioned that ever since he was a school boy and captaining Penang Free School's football team he was a Red Devil supporter. He went on and on and on.....
As I listened attentively, I was asking myself a lot of internal questions;
I became a fan. And boy, was it the right time to be a fan! MU were playing such fantastic games and were itching closer and closer to an unprecedented treble! Dad thought the time was right to subscibe to Astro. We also bought a new 29" TV since our financials were getting better.
Needless to say, we ended up watching Manchester United create history that 1998-1999 season. It was the year of the Treble. Much more important than that, my dad and I bonded together-gether as we would watch the matches; chat about the club, dad gives MU history lesson, etc..
We both celebrated the night Man Utd came back from behind to beat Bayern Munich at the Nou Camp with lots of Kacang Cap Tangan and Coca-Cola fuelling us. Like father like son eh?
This is what Manchester United will always mean to me:
Father and Son. Men. United. Together-gether *.
* for those of you who can't seem to 'get it', it means being fans of Man Utd brought my dad and I closer together.
Thank you Manchester United. I am a fan for life.
I was a 15-year old in Form 3, and it was just a few days after the World Cup. I wasn't a sports fan or anything, which is why I don't watch any football (and really suck at those Pendidikan Jasmani sessions in school because I have no idea of sports physics). Basically just a nerd and stuff I guess.
My dad owns a mini-market and every night, I would jaga the counter together-gether with my old man. We don't usually talk much since I was a rebellious teenager and stuff. We weren't in the best of financials either. So my dad and I were in the depressed zone together-gether. Heck, I thought our world will be over since it would be so depressing and stuff. Those were enduring times.
Then came August 1998. The brand new season of the EPL swung into action. I have always known my old man is a stauch Manchester United supporter. He sometimes wears a replica Man Utd jersey in the shop. Of course, we never talked about football before. But then there was one day Man Utd won against some other club and he was happy for the whole day after that. I was also ditching the rebellious phase I was in so I asked him what was up and all. Then he began talking about the match last night. I listened attentively as he then went on and talked about Ryan Giggs, David Beckham, Paul Scholes, Peter Schemeichel, Roy Keane and so on. He also mentioned George Best, Dennis Law and Eric Cantona. He mentioned that ever since he was a school boy and captaining Penang Free School's football team he was a Red Devil supporter. He went on and on and on.....
As I listened attentively, I was asking myself a lot of internal questions;
- "What is so good about football?"
- "What is so good about Manchester United?"
- "Who are those people he mentioned and why are they so much more famous than the Backstreet Boys?" (I know...I know.....shut up.)
I became a fan. And boy, was it the right time to be a fan! MU were playing such fantastic games and were itching closer and closer to an unprecedented treble! Dad thought the time was right to subscibe to Astro. We also bought a new 29" TV since our financials were getting better.
Needless to say, we ended up watching Manchester United create history that 1998-1999 season. It was the year of the Treble. Much more important than that, my dad and I bonded together-gether as we would watch the matches; chat about the club, dad gives MU history lesson, etc..
We both celebrated the night Man Utd came back from behind to beat Bayern Munich at the Nou Camp with lots of Kacang Cap Tangan and Coca-Cola fuelling us. Like father like son eh?
This is what Manchester United will always mean to me:
Father and Son. Men. United. Together-gether *.
* for those of you who can't seem to 'get it', it means being fans of Man Utd brought my dad and I closer together.
Thank you Manchester United. I am a fan for life.
August 25, 2006
Early Season Blues
Chelski 1, Boro 2
Me, no comment. since i didn't watch it.
at least arse, manure, liverpoo, pompey, hammers, villains, bolton, everton and are still in the running for an undefeated season. For now.
Let the comments commence.
(cheers, tigerjoe, not everday/month/year chelski got lose, okaaaa-aay....?)
Me, no comment. since i didn't watch it.
at least arse, manure, liverpoo, pompey, hammers, villains, bolton, everton and are still in the running for an undefeated season. For now.
Let the comments commence.
(cheers, tigerjoe, not everday/month/year chelski got lose, okaaaa-aay....?)
Miss K Fixes The Champion's League Draw...
A few days ago, I posted THIS POST. Then Tigerjoe decided to say something:
The scousers must have felt a little "lebanese" for the last 20 minutes or so of that match. *pppphhhhbbbrrrrrrrrrtttttt* - tigerjoe
Then I said:
well, at least now that we're in the group stages, we can enjoy our top seed status... have fun in the second pot, chelski. Hah! - eyeris
And he said:
Eyeris: Season after next bro, then we'll see who is in what pot. - tigerjoe
And then I said, rather prophetically:
ah.. no past worth mentioning about, so you've taken to looking the future eh? have fun with Barcelona in the group stages. :D - eyeris
Well, lookie here then:
Group A: Barcelona, Chelsea, Werder Bremen, Levski Sofia
Group B: Internazionale, Bayern Munich, Sporting Lisbon, Spartak Moscow
Group C: Liverpool, PSV Eindhoven, Bordeaux, Galatasaray
Group D: Valencia, AS Roma, Olympiakos, Shakhtar Donetsk
Group E: Real Madrid, Lyon, Steaua Bucuresti, Dynamo Kiev
Group F: Manchester United, Celtic, Benfica, FC Copenhagen
Group G: Arsenal, FC Porto, CSKA Moscow, Hamburg
Group H: AC Milan, Lille, AEK Athens, Anderlecht
Oops. Looks like Miss K DOES pay attention after all.
One day ago Mounrinho moaned that the seedings were not fair because "The way the groups are made is wrong, the criteria to be seeded in the groups". Oh, and he also complained that "For me the competition is not correct and you are in a lucky situation if the best team in Europe wins the competition"...
Wait a sec. He didn't complain all THAT much when he was winning the trophy with Porto a few years back, did he? So now he got all the money and all the best players in the world, NOW he starts complaining that the draw is unfair? Bloody hypocrite.
Anyway, it seems as though Miss K has bitten him in the ass and handed him probably the toughest group of all. (Poor Levski Sofia. First time in Champions League and kena Barca, Chelski and Werder Bremen. They'll never know what hit them...)
That said, Liverpool's group doesn't seem too easy either. PSV, Bordeaux and Galatasaray are teams that are very unpredictable. I especially hate it when they play Turkish teams. They always seem to lose wan.. sigh.
Manyoo's group should be fun though. Benfica again huh? What are the chances eh?
Of the four English clubs, Arsenal's group is easiest though. But can't beat Milan's group. Sheesh I know lar they nearly got relegated and all. But don't have to give them THAT easy a group right?
The scousers must have felt a little "lebanese" for the last 20 minutes or so of that match. *pppphhhhbbbrrrrrrrrrtttttt* - tigerjoe
Then I said:
well, at least now that we're in the group stages, we can enjoy our top seed status... have fun in the second pot, chelski. Hah! - eyeris
And he said:
Eyeris: Season after next bro, then we'll see who is in what pot. - tigerjoe
And then I said, rather prophetically:
ah.. no past worth mentioning about, so you've taken to looking the future eh? have fun with Barcelona in the group stages. :D - eyeris
Well, lookie here then:
Group A: Barcelona, Chelsea, Werder Bremen, Levski Sofia
Group B: Internazionale, Bayern Munich, Sporting Lisbon, Spartak Moscow
Group C: Liverpool, PSV Eindhoven, Bordeaux, Galatasaray
Group D: Valencia, AS Roma, Olympiakos, Shakhtar Donetsk
Group E: Real Madrid, Lyon, Steaua Bucuresti, Dynamo Kiev
Group F: Manchester United, Celtic, Benfica, FC Copenhagen
Group G: Arsenal, FC Porto, CSKA Moscow, Hamburg
Group H: AC Milan, Lille, AEK Athens, Anderlecht
Oops. Looks like Miss K DOES pay attention after all.
One day ago Mounrinho moaned that the seedings were not fair because "The way the groups are made is wrong, the criteria to be seeded in the groups". Oh, and he also complained that "For me the competition is not correct and you are in a lucky situation if the best team in Europe wins the competition"...
Wait a sec. He didn't complain all THAT much when he was winning the trophy with Porto a few years back, did he? So now he got all the money and all the best players in the world, NOW he starts complaining that the draw is unfair? Bloody hypocrite.
Anyway, it seems as though Miss K has bitten him in the ass and handed him probably the toughest group of all. (Poor Levski Sofia. First time in Champions League and kena Barca, Chelski and Werder Bremen. They'll never know what hit them...)
That said, Liverpool's group doesn't seem too easy either. PSV, Bordeaux and Galatasaray are teams that are very unpredictable. I especially hate it when they play Turkish teams. They always seem to lose wan.. sigh.
Manyoo's group should be fun though. Benfica again huh? What are the chances eh?
Of the four English clubs, Arsenal's group is easiest though. But can't beat Milan's group. Sheesh I know lar they nearly got relegated and all. But don't have to give them THAT easy a group right?
August 24, 2006
thanking you in anticipation
You know you are a stupid/modest/goddamn right idiot when you...
1) Buy a stupid shitty club just because they have a sentimental value to you.
2) Install yourself as manager when it is apparent that you are jack rubbish at it from the start.
3) Announce that you will sack yourself if going gets tough.
4) Do exactly that when you lose 5 games on the trot, one of which was againt the lowest positioned club in the entire professional league.
5) Try to install a man with no prior managerial experience as manager - a man who called you a muppet and a coward in front of your team mates just before the biggest tournament of your life was about to start, just because you were in fact a muppet and a coward for not supporting him - the same man who snubbed your testimonial because he was 'injured'.
Still, I would like to thank you, Mr Niall Quinn for grooming the one, the only KEANO to be the next Manyoo manager when Fergie retires after winning the league at the end of the season.
1) Buy a stupid shitty club just because they have a sentimental value to you.
2) Install yourself as manager when it is apparent that you are jack rubbish at it from the start.
3) Announce that you will sack yourself if going gets tough.
4) Do exactly that when you lose 5 games on the trot, one of which was againt the lowest positioned club in the entire professional league.
5) Try to install a man with no prior managerial experience as manager - a man who called you a muppet and a coward in front of your team mates just before the biggest tournament of your life was about to start, just because you were in fact a muppet and a coward for not supporting him - the same man who snubbed your testimonial because he was 'injured'.
Still, I would like to thank you, Mr Niall Quinn for grooming the one, the only KEANO to be the next Manyoo manager when Fergie retires after winning the league at the end of the season.
goddammit
Teesside may not be the most glamorous place in the UK (perhaps only a notch classier than Merseyside), but that should not have been the issue last night.
There was no reason to switch off and start packing for the trip home to London 10 minutes before the match ended. Goddammit.
Maybe I need a new voodoo chant for the Riverside Stadium; since it seems that the place is becoming a jinx for us.
There was no reason to switch off and start packing for the trip home to London 10 minutes before the match ended. Goddammit.
Maybe I need a new voodoo chant for the Riverside Stadium; since it seems that the place is becoming a jinx for us.
August 23, 2006
Letter to Mister K
Dearest Mister K,
You made millions of magpies (and broke one hot scouser chick's heart) very, very happy on August 31, 2005.
You made millions of magpies (and broke one hot scouser chick's heart) very, very happy on August 31, 2005.
But, disaster struck on June 20, 2006.
We will be missing him for a whole season!!! See? He looks so kesian.
Meanwhile, our forward line attractiveness factor has plumetted. Big time. From this dapper fellow:
To this: O_0
And, potentially this (mak oii...):
Tell me, how are we going to attract the chicks now? No hot chick would want to be a Toon fan now... No Japanese chick fans cos Michael-san is not playing. Beckam-san is still farting about somewhere in a white jersey.
Help a bit k, Mister K?
Either help us sign Klose or miraculously heal our Boy Wonder.
Damn, I have to admit it, the fella looks good in leather.
Thank you. Amen.
Sincerely, anttyk.
PS: Please help Sir Bobby get well soon too.
Hah! / Whew! / Suckers!
Tottenham 2-0 Sheff Utd
See??? I told you that draw was just a one off! We'll get them at Anfield yet!!!
Oh wait....
Maccabi H 1-1 Liverpool (agg 2-3)
Er... WHEW! (er... change subject chage subject)
Hey what's this?
First they got relegated.
Then they sold Thuram, Vieira, Ibrahimovic, Cannavaro.
And now, it looks like Juventus has sunk to an all-time low...
I suppose in view of all the doom and gloom at Turin lately, the club's fans really needed a class act comedian to cheer them up huh?
See??? I told you that draw was just a one off! We'll get them at Anfield yet!!!
Oh wait....
Maccabi H 1-1 Liverpool (agg 2-3)
Er... WHEW! (er... change subject chage subject)
Hey what's this?
First they got relegated.
Then they sold Thuram, Vieira, Ibrahimovic, Cannavaro.
And now, it looks like Juventus has sunk to an all-time low...
Magpies offload Boumsong to Juventus:
French central defender Jean Alain Boumsong has joined Juventus from Newcastle for £3.3m.
French central defender Jean Alain Boumsong has joined Juventus from Newcastle for £3.3m.
I suppose in view of all the doom and gloom at Turin lately, the club's fans really needed a class act comedian to cheer them up huh?
August 22, 2006
a voodoo chant
You are a scouser,
a fucking scouser;
Your tits are hairy,
your gaffer's gay.
You think you're legends,
you're really wankers;
Please don't take my hubcaps awaaaaaaayyyyyy...
Let's see if Rafa can really protect a one-goal lead out in the Ukrainian heat and stink. A 1-0 win is all that Maccabi Haifa need.
*ppphhhhbbbbbrrrrtttttttt*
a fucking scouser;
Your tits are hairy,
your gaffer's gay.
You think you're legends,
you're really wankers;
Please don't take my hubcaps awaaaaaaayyyyyy...
Let's see if Rafa can really protect a one-goal lead out in the Ukrainian heat and stink. A 1-0 win is all that Maccabi Haifa need.
*ppphhhhbbbbbrrrrtttttttt*
August 21, 2006
Tension
Wah… Very is the tension man this place nowsadays. First game of the season already like that… Later, I dunno la.
Nebber mind. Let the Resident Toon Comedian (not comedien la, eyeris) lighten the mood a little.
With a joke, on our expense of course.
Fire brigade phones Glenn Roeder in the early hours of Sunday morning...
"Glenn, St James Park is on fire!"
"The cups man! Save the cups!" replies Glenn.
"Well...the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir."
Ha ha ha.
Oh and looky here.
Newcastle 2 – Wigan 1.
Mister K, I salute you.
Cheers! Gimlet for you from Bangkok.
PS: Help us get at least two world class strikers and a defender before August 31, 2006. Amen.
Nebber mind. Let the Resident Toon Comedian (not comedien la, eyeris) lighten the mood a little.
With a joke, on our expense of course.
Fire brigade phones Glenn Roeder in the early hours of Sunday morning...
"Glenn, St James Park is on fire!"
"The cups man! Save the cups!" replies Glenn.
"Well...the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir."
Ha ha ha.
Oh and looky here.
Newcastle 2 – Wigan 1.
Mister K, I salute you.
Cheers! Gimlet for you from Bangkok.
PS: Help us get at least two world class strikers and a defender before August 31, 2006. Amen.
Tak Aci! Tak Aci!
Weekend Scores:
Chelsea 3, ManCity 0
ManU 5, Fulham 1
Newcastle 2, Wigan 1
........
Arsenal 1, Aston Villa 1
Oi!!! Tak Aci! We didn't know you all playing serious one!! Tak aci! Start again, ken or not!!!
Next time one to play serious give warning first!
Post script: ManCity kasi 'chan' one.
Chelsea 3, ManCity 0
ManU 5, Fulham 1
Newcastle 2, Wigan 1
........
Arsenal 1, Aston Villa 1
Oi!!! Tak Aci! We didn't know you all playing serious one!! Tak aci! Start again, ken or not!!!
Next time one to play serious give warning first!
Post script: ManCity kasi 'chan' one.
August 20, 2006
My Darling Liverpool.
Oi. Pakcik-pakcik semua.
You KNOW I love you all. You KNOW I support you regardless. You KNOW I think you are like just *awesome*.
But .. even though it *is* the first game of the season, and it *is* an away game, and it *is* Sheffield United,
and even though I *also* know that Carragher and Riise got injured,
Still ....
There's no good reason to:
a) pass like shit.
b) try to score like shit.
c) run and then FALL OVER YOURSELVES FOR NO GOOD REASON like shit.
What? Did someone put MANUre in your food/drinks or something ah?
Anyways, moving on .... I heard from Jeff Ooi's litte bird today that some Chelsea fan is claiming that the penalty kick awarded to Liverpool was 'dubious'.
I say: Click here.
Enough said.
Toodles. Now everyone can resume chanting the mantra.
You KNOW I love you all. You KNOW I support you regardless. You KNOW I think you are like just *awesome*.
But .. even though it *is* the first game of the season, and it *is* an away game, and it *is* Sheffield United,
and even though I *also* know that Carragher and Riise got injured,
Still ....
There's no good reason to:
a) pass like shit.
b) try to score like shit.
c) run and then FALL OVER YOURSELVES FOR NO GOOD REASON like shit.
What? Did someone put MANUre in your food/drinks or something ah?
Anyways, moving on .... I heard from Jeff Ooi's litte bird today that some Chelsea fan is claiming that the penalty kick awarded to Liverpool was 'dubious'.
I say: Click here.
Enough said.
Toodles. Now everyone can resume chanting the mantra.
The Scouse Scum's Humble Pie Diet
Heheheheheheheh....
I am forecasting a trend that some people will only come to their senses when LiverPoo drops points (a.k.a. fail to win). Thus, I am recommending them a new Diet to follow. I recommend the rest of you Scouse Scum try it too.
Breakfast
A piece of Roti Malu with Kari Overrated
A hot cup of Teh Reality with Ginger Spice
3 slices of Humble Pie
Lunch
Nasi PadanMuka with generous servings of Ayam-ayam Tidak Berkepala.
Tear Juice with extra Biji Bangang
3 slices of Humble Pie
Dinner
Mee Frust tambah Telur Mata-Mata Hilang
Ais Limau Kayu Kau-Kau
3 slices of Humble Pie
Of course, the main part of the diet involves slices of Humble Pie. Lots and lots of Humble Pie.
Heheheheh.
Trust me Scouse Scums, take this diet everyday till May next year and you can be the football equivalent of this guy;
...and that team would be none other than....
YUP, YOU GENIUSES GUESSED IT!
p.s. No! I am NOT delusional. :p
Secret Note: [you can only read this if you ...err...highlight this part of the text. Heheh!]
Humble Pie is good for Scousers' health. So go on, make that bulk order today!
I still heart Old Spice
Once upon a time, when Liverpool players had a bit of a personality, there were five.
Jamie Redknapp, Stan Collymore, David James, Steve McManaman and of course, the spiciest of them all, Robert Bernard Fowler.
One by one, the Spice Boys left.
There were no more racy stories out of Liverpool.
And then, just to prove that miracles do happen, GOD came back to his spiritual home.
He may be just an Old Spice now.
The Toxteth Terror may not be so terror anymore.
The Working Class Hero may no longer be a KOP Idol.
Plastered-nose is no longer plastered on the news for being plastered out of his brains.
But no one can take away his love for football, his love for Liverpool, even back when he was with Liverpool’s Retirement Home, Manchester Shitty.
And no one can dispute the supernatural precision he once had.
Which is why I’m keeping the faith.
Every now and then, he reminds me why I used to worship him so much.
Saturday night wasn’t much, but I’m glad he opened his account for this season. (Think so easy to take penalty meh? Forgot about England already?)
I think he may still surprise the cynics.
Plus he’s lost a lot of weight and he looks cute in yellow :p
Of course, Spice Boys was not a complimentary term. Fowler may be cheeky. He may be a bit of a bad lad. But at least, he’s always been a man’s man. A real man.
Which is not to be confused with being the other type of a man’s man:
Ever noticed Liverpool boys don't cry? Who's gay now?
Jamie Redknapp, Stan Collymore, David James, Steve McManaman and of course, the spiciest of them all, Robert Bernard Fowler.
One by one, the Spice Boys left.
There were no more racy stories out of Liverpool.
And then, just to prove that miracles do happen, GOD came back to his spiritual home.
He may be just an Old Spice now.
The Toxteth Terror may not be so terror anymore.
The Working Class Hero may no longer be a KOP Idol.
Plastered-nose is no longer plastered on the news for being plastered out of his brains.
But no one can take away his love for football, his love for Liverpool, even back when he was with Liverpool’s Retirement Home, Manchester Shitty.
The Hand of God.
And no one can dispute the supernatural precision he once had.
Which is why I’m keeping the faith.
Every now and then, he reminds me why I used to worship him so much.
Saturday night wasn’t much, but I’m glad he opened his account for this season. (Think so easy to take penalty meh? Forgot about England already?)
I think he may still surprise the cynics.
Plus he’s lost a lot of weight and he looks cute in yellow :p
Of course, Spice Boys was not a complimentary term. Fowler may be cheeky. He may be a bit of a bad lad. But at least, he’s always been a man’s man. A real man.
Which is not to be confused with being the other type of a man’s man:
The Rent Boys.
We've been standing here hours and Rafa still hasn't winked at us.
I'm a big wuss
So am I
No one is a bigger wuss that me, innit? I'm still lumbered with the skanky Old Spice. Bah.
Oik! Wot about me????? I'm a wuss too okay!
Ever noticed Liverpool boys don't cry? Who's gay now?
Another Mantra for the Week
It's only the 1st game of the season. I shall not despair.
It's only the 1st game of the season. I shall not despair.
It's only the 1st game of the season. I shall not despair.
It's only the 1st game of the season. I shall not despair.
It's only the 1st game of the season. I shall not despair.
It's only the 1st game of the season. I shall not despair.
It's only the 1st game of the season. I shall not despair.
It's only the 1st game of the season. I shall not despair.
It's only the 1st game of the season. I shall not despair.
It's only the 1st game of the season. I shall not despair.
It's only the 1st game of the season. I shall not despair.
It's only the 1st game of the season. I shall not despair.
Gah.
It's only the 1st game of the season. I shall not despair.
It's only the 1st game of the season. I shall not despair.
It's only the 1st game of the season. I shall not despair.
It's only the 1st game of the season. I shall not despair.
It's only the 1st game of the season. I shall not despair.
It's only the 1st game of the season. I shall not despair.
It's only the 1st game of the season. I shall not despair.
It's only the 1st game of the season. I shall not despair.
It's only the 1st game of the season. I shall not despair.
It's only the 1st game of the season. I shall not despair.
It's only the 1st game of the season. I shall not despair.
Gah.
August 19, 2006
The First Ever Hantu Bola Season Predictions!
YAY! The season starts today! And to celebrate the first Start-of-Season Hantu Bola post, here are some predictions for the new season, courtesy of the Hantu Keciks and the Head Hantus.
First up, the Hantu Keciks...
(BTW, I'll add Scorkes' predictions later... these are all I have at er... press time. And don't even bother askign about Kakibangku...)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gooners Naz & S-Kay (well, mostly Naz):
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4: Chelsea (ugh!), Arsenal, Liverpool, Man U
Bottom 3: Wigan, Reading, Watford
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Dirk Kuyt
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Buy - A. Cole (Technically, still haven't bought him yet!) / Sell - Gallas
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Adrian Boothroyd (Watford) (Do I get a bonus point for Niall Quinn to sack himself at Sunderland?)
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Steven Gerrard - Missing leopard print undies. Ok Seriously... Neil Warnock to be slapped with a fine from the FA for one of his politically incorrect statements.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gooner TopTenSimon:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4:Ars, Che, ManU, Liv
Bottom 3: sheffield, watford, portsmouth
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
owen can count or not? if not then ballack.
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
A.Hole. Failing which some stopgap leftback at $15mil that will last 12months.
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Roeder in February. My second guess is Dowie sometime in March.
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
on pitch - bellamy
off pitch - bellamy.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sashibusygiler
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4: Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal, Spurs.
Bottom 3: Fulham, Watford, Reading.
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Heskey, Carrick
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Buy Cole, sell Gallas.
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Chris Coleman
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Rooney/Ronaldo, finally airing dirty laundry in public.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Our resident Toon Comedien, Anttyk:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4: Chelski (champs), The Arse, Liverpool, The Toon
Bottom 3: Watford (last), Sheffield United, Wigan
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Michael Carrick.
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Cashley Cole.
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Alex Ferguson. Glenn Roeder will last a couple of years, until Alan Shearer gets his UEFA coaching license and takes over.
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Christina Ronaldo for smacking Fergit on the head with a trout while prancing around.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Prideful' Devil Din:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4: Manchester United (champs), Liverpool (runners-up) & Chelsea (3rd), Arsenal (4th)
Bottom 3: Aston Villa (18th), Sheffield United (19th) & Watford (20th)
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Michael Ballack & Damien Duff.
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Buy: Carlos Tevez
Sell: Didier Drogba, Arjen Robben
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
5 and a half months (gets sacked after X'mas)
5) Which player will be the centre of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Peter Crouch, for having intimate relations with a goalpost at Anfield. :p.... No lah, I think it should unfortunately be Wayne Rooney, for yet another red-card incident involving kicking a 'saved' ball held on the ground by a rival goalkeeper, and breaking the keeper's hand at the same time. He will get it from everyone: teammates, manager, fans, media....the works. Gets a 1 month ban. He would probably clean-up after this and inspire Man Utd to the title.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And now, for our Scouser chicks:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mrs Michael Lilyliverbird Owen:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4: Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea, Spurs
Bottom 3:Everton, Sheffield United, Watford
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Carrick: More of a Pirlo when Manure needs a Gattuso. Not the answer to Keane's departure. Overrated. But beggars can't be choosers hahahaha
Bollocks - will not get on with Lampoop
Heskey: From a lumbering piece of metal to an imbecile lumbering piece of metal
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Sell: Drogba (won't play second fiddle to Sheva) Plus any of the following: Geremi, Essien, Joe Cole, Robben, SWP,
Buy: Any big player Manure, Arsenal and Liverpool want, just to spite us. Will then proceed to bench the poor bloke. Plus a left back - either A Hole or Abidal
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Errr..Fergit? About bloody time innit?
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
1. Hopefully another bitchfight between Roo Roo and Christina
2. Bellamy, Pennant and Fowler will either burn down the house of parliament or better, steal Moanrinho's hubcabs
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
StrayBeautyBex:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4: Head says Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal, Manchester United, heart says Liverpool, Arsenal, Tottenham, West Ham United
Bottom 3: Fulham, Reading, Portsmouth/Sheffield United/Watford [I know, not very helpful. Sorry. =p]
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Michael Carrick
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Gallas hopefully. [Wait, is he considered a big-named player?]
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Er, wild guess, David Moyes.
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Rooney for glaring at the referee after he steps on some pretty boy's face by accident and completely disfigures it. Maybe it'll be Ronaldo, though he looks more like a penguin than a pretty boy, but all the girls seem to think he's one.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And finally, the Head Hantus...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chelski Tigerjoeshaggerton:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4: Chelsea, Tottenham, Arsenal, Liverpool
Bottom 3: Fulham, Reading, Watford
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Any amount of money paid for Djimi Traore and Emile Heskey is a waste; but my picks are Michael Carrick (if he doesn't last till xmas) and Andrew Johnson.
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Buy: None this season, although there might be a defender brought in on loan in January
Sell: None (note: Ashley Cole is not a big-named player; the shrimp is not even a big player to begin with.)
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
The Glazers will decide that Fergie has lost the plot, and replace him with Sven.
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Opening weekend, Sheffield vs Liverpool: Harry Kewell will break down in tears after Neil Warnock calls him a fag and the Liverpool squad a bunch of bumfuckers; Rafa gets into a fist-fight with Warnock to prove his manliness but gets knowcked down instead, and the home crowd starts singing "Macho Man".
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ManVincentYoonited:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top four: Manyoo (durrrrr), Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool
Bottom 3 (from bottom up): Watford, Fulham, Wigan, (no shits, i tell you)
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Shevchenko and Berbatov
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Sell SWP, buy Ashley Cole (durr)
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Chris Coleman
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Craig Bellamy, for being filmed kicking a dog and eating the puppies (I
couldn't be serious forever, could I?)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
EyeriscouserinKL:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top four: Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal, Spurs
Bottom 3 (from bottom up): Sheffield United, Watford, Fulham
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Emile Heskey. But of course.
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
They'll be linked to Tevez, Ronaldinho, Podolski and Nesta, will TRY to buy Adriano, but would end up paying 30 million for Torres instead
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Toss-up between Chris Coleman, Stuart Pierce or Gareth Southgate (who is sacked after four games in a row playing himself in striker, despite 'hanging up his boots' kononnya, because "I've always wanted to play striker, but no gaffer would let me.")
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Drogba and Gary Neville accidently punch each other while trying to smack the ball with their hands, and sparks a free-for-all in which Rooney swings a sly one at Ronaldo, Lampard tries to kick the ball at Ferdinand but it ends up hitting Van Der Sar in goal instead, and Fergit throws Heinze at Mourinho
First up, the Hantu Keciks...
(BTW, I'll add Scorkes' predictions later... these are all I have at er... press time. And don't even bother askign about Kakibangku...)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gooners Naz & S-Kay (well, mostly Naz):
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4: Chelsea (ugh!), Arsenal, Liverpool, Man U
Bottom 3: Wigan, Reading, Watford
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Dirk Kuyt
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Buy - A. Cole (Technically, still haven't bought him yet!) / Sell - Gallas
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Adrian Boothroyd (Watford) (Do I get a bonus point for Niall Quinn to sack himself at Sunderland?)
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Steven Gerrard - Missing leopard print undies. Ok Seriously... Neil Warnock to be slapped with a fine from the FA for one of his politically incorrect statements.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gooner TopTenSimon:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4:Ars, Che, ManU, Liv
Bottom 3: sheffield, watford, portsmouth
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
owen can count or not? if not then ballack.
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
A.Hole. Failing which some stopgap leftback at $15mil that will last 12months.
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Roeder in February. My second guess is Dowie sometime in March.
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
on pitch - bellamy
off pitch - bellamy.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sashibusygiler
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4: Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal, Spurs.
Bottom 3: Fulham, Watford, Reading.
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Heskey, Carrick
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Buy Cole, sell Gallas.
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Chris Coleman
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Rooney/Ronaldo, finally airing dirty laundry in public.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Our resident Toon Comedien, Anttyk:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4: Chelski (champs), The Arse, Liverpool, The Toon
Bottom 3: Watford (last), Sheffield United, Wigan
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Michael Carrick.
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Cashley Cole.
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Alex Ferguson. Glenn Roeder will last a couple of years, until Alan Shearer gets his UEFA coaching license and takes over.
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Christina Ronaldo for smacking Fergit on the head with a trout while prancing around.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Prideful' Devil Din:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4: Manchester United (champs), Liverpool (runners-up) & Chelsea (3rd), Arsenal (4th)
Bottom 3: Aston Villa (18th), Sheffield United (19th) & Watford (20th)
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Michael Ballack & Damien Duff.
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Buy: Carlos Tevez
Sell: Didier Drogba, Arjen Robben
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
5 and a half months (gets sacked after X'mas)
5) Which player will be the centre of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Peter Crouch, for having intimate relations with a goalpost at Anfield. :p.... No lah, I think it should unfortunately be Wayne Rooney, for yet another red-card incident involving kicking a 'saved' ball held on the ground by a rival goalkeeper, and breaking the keeper's hand at the same time. He will get it from everyone: teammates, manager, fans, media....the works. Gets a 1 month ban. He would probably clean-up after this and inspire Man Utd to the title.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And now, for our Scouser chicks:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mrs Michael Lilyliverbird Owen:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4: Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea, Spurs
Bottom 3:Everton, Sheffield United, Watford
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Carrick: More of a Pirlo when Manure needs a Gattuso. Not the answer to Keane's departure. Overrated. But beggars can't be choosers hahahaha
Bollocks - will not get on with Lampoop
Heskey: From a lumbering piece of metal to an imbecile lumbering piece of metal
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Sell: Drogba (won't play second fiddle to Sheva) Plus any of the following: Geremi, Essien, Joe Cole, Robben, SWP,
Buy: Any big player Manure, Arsenal and Liverpool want, just to spite us. Will then proceed to bench the poor bloke. Plus a left back - either A Hole or Abidal
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Errr..Fergit? About bloody time innit?
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
1. Hopefully another bitchfight between Roo Roo and Christina
2. Bellamy, Pennant and Fowler will either burn down the house of parliament or better, steal Moanrinho's hubcabs
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
StrayBeautyBex:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4: Head says Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal, Manchester United, heart says Liverpool, Arsenal, Tottenham, West Ham United
Bottom 3: Fulham, Reading, Portsmouth/Sheffield United/Watford [I know, not very helpful. Sorry. =p]
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Michael Carrick
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Gallas hopefully. [Wait, is he considered a big-named player?]
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Er, wild guess, David Moyes.
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Rooney for glaring at the referee after he steps on some pretty boy's face by accident and completely disfigures it. Maybe it'll be Ronaldo, though he looks more like a penguin than a pretty boy, but all the girls seem to think he's one.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And finally, the Head Hantus...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chelski Tigerjoeshaggerton:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4: Chelsea, Tottenham, Arsenal, Liverpool
Bottom 3: Fulham, Reading, Watford
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Any amount of money paid for Djimi Traore and Emile Heskey is a waste; but my picks are Michael Carrick (if he doesn't last till xmas) and Andrew Johnson.
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Buy: None this season, although there might be a defender brought in on loan in January
Sell: None (note: Ashley Cole is not a big-named player; the shrimp is not even a big player to begin with.)
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
The Glazers will decide that Fergie has lost the plot, and replace him with Sven.
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Opening weekend, Sheffield vs Liverpool: Harry Kewell will break down in tears after Neil Warnock calls him a fag and the Liverpool squad a bunch of bumfuckers; Rafa gets into a fist-fight with Warnock to prove his manliness but gets knowcked down instead, and the home crowd starts singing "Macho Man".
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ManVincentYoonited:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top four: Manyoo (durrrrr), Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool
Bottom 3 (from bottom up): Watford, Fulham, Wigan, (no shits, i tell you)
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Shevchenko and Berbatov
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Sell SWP, buy Ashley Cole (durr)
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Chris Coleman
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Craig Bellamy, for being filmed kicking a dog and eating the puppies (I
couldn't be serious forever, could I?)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
EyeriscouserinKL:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top four: Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal, Spurs
Bottom 3 (from bottom up): Sheffield United, Watford, Fulham
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Emile Heskey. But of course.
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
They'll be linked to Tevez, Ronaldinho, Podolski and Nesta, will TRY to buy Adriano, but would end up paying 30 million for Torres instead
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Toss-up between Chris Coleman, Stuart Pierce or Gareth Southgate (who is sacked after four games in a row playing himself in striker, despite 'hanging up his boots' kononnya, because "I've always wanted to play striker, but no gaffer would let me.")
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Drogba and Gary Neville accidently punch each other while trying to smack the ball with their hands, and sparks a free-for-all in which Rooney swings a sly one at Ronaldo, Lampard tries to kick the ball at Ferdinand but it ends up hitting Van Der Sar in goal instead, and Fergit throws Heinze at Mourinho
August 18, 2006
August 17, 2006
pre-season liverpool bash #4
Just when I thought scousers were funny people, some of them went and dissapointed me (not you, Lily) with some inane comments about Manure United (Ha. Ha. Fun-nee). I was sitting in front of my notebook contemplating whether I should bitch about the fucking English FA or do one last PRE-SEASON Liverpool bash, when I realised that everybody knows the FA are bloody muppets anyway and I would be better off slagging Scum.
Anyways, I was trying to figure out this big mystery of why Liverpool constantly fail to sign any big name players. They already have a team full of fags and pretty boys, but instead of trying to sign a big name superstar, they keep trying to sign someone called Dick Kuyt.
Think about it..
You are a big name player, a superstar.
You probably grew up on the streets in a slum somewhere in Argentina or Brazil.
Now, you have all the money in the world to spend..you want to go party...you want to go shopping...you want a big city..
And most importantly, you want to go to a town where they won't steal the hubcaps of your Ferrari..
Would you go to a town like...
Barcelona
London
Milan
Liverpool
Anyways, I was trying to figure out this big mystery of why Liverpool constantly fail to sign any big name players. They already have a team full of fags and pretty boys, but instead of trying to sign a big name superstar, they keep trying to sign someone called Dick Kuyt.
Think about it..
You are a big name player, a superstar.
You probably grew up on the streets in a slum somewhere in Argentina or Brazil.
Now, you have all the money in the world to spend..you want to go party...you want to go shopping...you want a big city..
And most importantly, you want to go to a town where they won't steal the hubcaps of your Ferrari..
Would you go to a town like...
BarcelonaOR
LondonOR
MilanOR
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
LiverpoolOne Sunny afternoon in Madrid
John Terry - Harlo! Who that ah? Posh Spice ah? David there or not?
Posh Spice - (fake Spanish accent) er, hello. David? let me check if he's still crying alone in the corner.
John - It's ok. i'll wait... la di da...
(Posh Spice can be heard shouting something about 'Tom & Jerry on the phone')
David Beckham - *sniff, sniff* 'Ello?
John - WAH! You got see the match or not?! We won FOUR JILO ah! I got score one ar!!! Some i CAPTAIN, you know...
David - *mumble, mumble, KNNCCB, sniff*
John - I TELL YOU ah, so beautiful my goal ah? You got TIVO the match or not?! Some more we play so good ah, you didn't play also very good...blah...blah...
David - *gripe, gripe, go-and-die-la-mcClaren-and-you, mumble, sniff*
John - Some more ah Greece EUROPEAN Champions ah, blah blah
David - *CLICK* (hangs up) *swears some more using the 4 Spanish swear words he knows*
****** (FIVE MINUTES LATER) *******
Posh Spice - DAVID, honey, are you still hiding under Brooklyn's bed sucking your thumb? Some bloke named Bitter Couch is on the phone...!
Posh Spice - (fake Spanish accent) er, hello. David? let me check if he's still crying alone in the corner.
John - It's ok. i'll wait... la di da...
(Posh Spice can be heard shouting something about 'Tom & Jerry on the phone')
David Beckham - *sniff, sniff* 'Ello?
John - WAH! You got see the match or not?! We won FOUR JILO ah! I got score one ar!!! Some i CAPTAIN, you know...
David - *mumble, mumble, KNNCCB, sniff*
John - I TELL YOU ah, so beautiful my goal ah? You got TIVO the match or not?! Some more we play so good ah, you didn't play also very good...blah...blah...
David - *gripe, gripe, go-and-die-la-mcClaren-and-you, mumble, sniff*
John - Some more ah Greece EUROPEAN Champions ah, blah blah
David - *CLICK* (hangs up) *swears some more using the 4 Spanish swear words he knows*
****** (FIVE MINUTES LATER) *******
Posh Spice - DAVID, honey, are you still hiding under Brooklyn's bed sucking your thumb? Some bloke named Bitter Couch is on the phone...!
Why footballers don't return calls
Rio Ferdinand - I have to pee
Rooney - I will be away for the next 3 matches
Beckham: I have to go for my manicure and pedicure
Gary Neville: I have to polish Sir's car
Christina: I need to cry first
Pennant: I'm thirsty
Bellamy: My fist is sore
Fowler: I'm buying another 10 houses
Alan Shearer: I have to go develop a personality
Ashley Cole: I'm busy packing
The one whose name I'm not allowed to mention here: I'm on a long MC
Fergie: I'm too angry to talk
Wenger: I can't see your number
Moanrinho: What you talking about ? I'm the Special One. I don't call anyone. You call me!
Rooney - I will be away for the next 3 matches
Beckham: I have to go for my manicure and pedicure
Gary Neville: I have to polish Sir's car
Christina: I need to cry first
Pennant: I'm thirsty
Bellamy: My fist is sore
Fowler: I'm buying another 10 houses
Alan Shearer: I have to go develop a personality
Ashley Cole: I'm busy packing
The one whose name I'm not allowed to mention here: I'm on a long MC
Fergie: I'm too angry to talk
Wenger: I can't see your number
Moanrinho: What you talking about ? I'm the Special One. I don't call anyone. You call me!
August 16, 2006
pre-season liverpool bash #3
Don't be a smart-ass. It is still pre-season. I am hoping that the rest of the season does not turn out to be as drab as the game over the weekend. I was lucky to be in the company of a pleasant bird called Jameson, otherwise I would have fallen asleep.
In celebrating Liverpool's acheivement in the 'nobody really gives a shit' competition, and laughing at the hilariously named Aurelio, I have decided to post something about the legendary Scouse humour. You see, Scousers are known to be 'humourous' people, which actually translates to the rest of of as 'people with a sick sense of humour'.
It is good to note that some local Scousers thought it to be a good idea to emulate their heroes in the comments box for one of the posts below...
And then I said :
To which another funny scouser said:
I don't really know about Volleyball trophies, but I sure as hell know who has more Mickey Mouse ones....
In celebrating Liverpool's acheivement in the 'nobody really gives a shit' competition, and laughing at the hilariously named Aurelio, I have decided to post something about the legendary Scouse humour. You see, Scousers are known to be 'humourous' people, which actually translates to the rest of of as 'people with a sick sense of humour'.
It is good to note that some local Scousers thought it to be a good idea to emulate their heroes in the comments box for one of the posts below...
"at least Gerrard has lifted CL and FA Cup throphies before, unlike the ball-licker captain Gary Neville."Let's go back to Maths class and learn to count, shall we?
And then I said :
*ahem* Gary Neville has won more trophies than any scouser in the present team, thank you very much
To which another funny scouser said:
yeah, including volleyball trophies
My Mantra for the week
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
Teehee.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
It's only the Community Shield. I shall not gloat.
Teehee.
August 15, 2006
Singing Shearer
It's a slow, hot Tuesday afternoon. The flies buzz around, lazily rubbing their hands in glee.
Pfffbbbrrrttt!!
Pfffbbbrrrttt!!
August 14, 2006
Haha!
I *told* Vincent that Liverpool's gonna kick ass.
(the odds are good ... since eyeris is out of the country and all .. )
I sleepy. Ownself read k?
(the odds are good ... since eyeris is out of the country and all .. )
I sleepy. Ownself read k?
August 12, 2006
REMINDER: Season Opening Drinkalot!
Just a friendly reminder that it all begins again THIS WEEKEND....
HANTU BOLA CHARITY-NOT-COMMUNITY SHIELD DRINKALOT
Match: LIVERPOOL vs CHELSKI
Date: August 13
Time: 7:30pm onwards
Venue: SOULed Out, Sri Hartamas
As usual, sapa mau pegi, please comment so we know who's coming!
HANTU BOLA CHARITY-NOT-COMMUNITY SHIELD DRINKALOT
Match: LIVERPOOL vs CHELSKI
Date: August 13
Time: 7:30pm onwards
Venue: SOULed Out, Sri Hartamas
As usual, sapa mau pegi, please comment so we know who's coming!
oh captain, my captain, your captain!
England fans say hello to the new captain.
The media made it sound like such a close run thing between Captain John Terry and Steven "I'm The Man" Gerrard for the captain's armband. In the end, I know why Steve McLaren didn't pick Gerrard.
It's those world famous 50-yard backpass / opponent's goal assists that Gerrard specialises in, you see.
Toodles
p.s. Don't forget SO this sunday, people. The Hantu Bola table will be near the big screen.
The media made it sound like such a close run thing between Captain John Terry and Steven "I'm The Man" Gerrard for the captain's armband. In the end, I know why Steve McLaren didn't pick Gerrard.It's those world famous 50-yard backpass / opponent's goal assists that Gerrard specialises in, you see.
Toodles
p.s. Don't forget SO this sunday, people. The Hantu Bola table will be near the big screen.
August 11, 2006
A Man Utd fan's pride
I'm proud to be a fan of the great Manchester United.
Yeah, so we did not really get it up to mark the past few seasons and all, but hey, no one is going to deny we have a really colourful history. Say all you want, but we are still the ONLY English club with the exclusive Treble.
What's that LiverPoo scums? No no no, stop lying to yourselves. This is the REAL Treble I'm talking about.
Yeah, most of you only wish you could have felt the joyous sensation we United fans felt seeing the drama and history our great club had achived winning the Treble within 10 days in the 1998-1999 season.
Yeah I could go on and on and on about how much we have achieved and so on but I really don't want to make other rival fans cry. I'll leave that to another day.
It's just that I find it amusing that while Man Utd fans in general couldn't care less about the performance and players of other teams, many of the other rival teams' fans like to write stuff against the great Man Utd. Well, to be honest, I don't mind that they do because it just means many people apart from the great Man Utd fans care about the club I respect. Why talk about another club unless you admire them too right? It's all about pride people. Pride.
So I sit back, relax, and let the other people talk about my club. After all, publicity is still publicity. :)
I end this prideful post with a quote;
Sir Matt Busby : Manchester is my Heaven.
Yeah, so we did not really get it up to mark the past few seasons and all, but hey, no one is going to deny we have a really colourful history. Say all you want, but we are still the ONLY English club with the exclusive Treble.
What's that LiverPoo scums? No no no, stop lying to yourselves. This is the REAL Treble I'm talking about.
Yeah, most of you only wish you could have felt the joyous sensation we United fans felt seeing the drama and history our great club had achived winning the Treble within 10 days in the 1998-1999 season.
Yeah I could go on and on and on about how much we have achieved and so on but I really don't want to make other rival fans cry. I'll leave that to another day.
It's just that I find it amusing that while Man Utd fans in general couldn't care less about the performance and players of other teams, many of the other rival teams' fans like to write stuff against the great Man Utd. Well, to be honest, I don't mind that they do because it just means many people apart from the great Man Utd fans care about the club I respect. Why talk about another club unless you admire them too right? It's all about pride people. Pride.
So I sit back, relax, and let the other people talk about my club. After all, publicity is still publicity. :)
I end this prideful post with a quote;
Sir Matt Busby : Manchester is my Heaven.
Toon's New Formation
Yup. It's official. We will be using a new formation for this new Premiership season.
Below is a list of our first team players.
Goalkeeper - Shag Given
Defender - Tikus Bramble
Striker - Holy Amoeba
Midfielders - Bergowhatzit Emre, Scott Parker, Nicky Unfortunatesurname, Knobbly Solano, Albert Un-lucky, Kieron Alwaysinjured, Damien Duffyduck, James Milner
Formation?
1-8-1.
Be afraid. Be very afraid, you fuckers.
Below is a list of our first team players.
Goalkeeper - Shag Given
Defender - Tikus Bramble
Striker - Holy Amoeba
Midfielders - Bergowhatzit Emre, Scott Parker, Nicky Unfortunatesurname, Knobbly Solano, Albert Un-lucky, Kieron Alwaysinjured, Damien Duffyduck, James Milner
Formation?
1-8-1.
Be afraid. Be very afraid, you fuckers.
apa futsal-futsal?!
Now that the new EPL season is starting, it's time to get down to the real football.
Enough of this futsal shite. What do you think this place is, Hantu Futsal or Hantu Bola?
*ppphhhhhbbbbbrrrrrtttttt*
If anyone is interested in a bit of Yahoo! fantasy footy, go on and sign up. We even have a group created specially for Hantu Bola.
Group ID: 5566
Password: shebby
Toodles
Enough of this futsal shite. What do you think this place is, Hantu Futsal or Hantu Bola?
*ppphhhhhbbbbbrrrrrtttttt*
If anyone is interested in a bit of Yahoo! fantasy footy, go on and sign up. We even have a group created specially for Hantu Bola.
Group ID: 5566
Password: shebby
Toodles
August 10, 2006
Chel$ea being... Stingy?!! *gasp!*
That's a new one alright.
Chelsea actually feels that a particular player is "overpriced" and they are not willing to pay anything more than £16m and now they want to pull the plug... right...
Let me just run by a few names and figures: -
1) Didier Drogba - £24m
Had one good UEFA Cup. Scored 18 goals in 34 appearances... In the French League.
2) Paulo Ferreira - £13m
£13m for Portugal's 2nd best right back.
3) Michael Essien - £25m
Claude Makalele's (who was bought for £16m) understudy is worth £9m more. Now with Ballack on board, he may follow the route of this next guy...
4) Shaun Wright-Phillips - £21m
The world's most expensive benchwarmer. Position could be usurped by Essien.
5) Jon Obi Mikel - £12m
And this much was paid just to snatch the lad under the red nose of Sir Fergie.
6) Andriy Shevchenko - > £30m
Fair enough, he's proven quality but he's already close to 30.
Assley Cole is young (25), English and surely the best leftback in the world at the moment. Surely he should be worth somewhere similar to Essien, who at the moment is not even the best holding midfielder in England.
Fair enough, the stupidity and selfishness of A.Hole tilts the bargaining power the way of Chelsea. But don't issue official club statements like this: -
'Although discussions have continued, Arsenal's valuation of the player does not match Chelsea's and therefore no agreement can be reached in the current circumstances.'
... And make yourselves look silly because players 1 - 5 (and possibly 6) are definitely over valued...
Go on then, Roman. Just reach into your pocket for the small change that is £10m.
Chelsea actually feels that a particular player is "overpriced" and they are not willing to pay anything more than £16m and now they want to pull the plug... right...
Let me just run by a few names and figures: -
1) Didier Drogba - £24m
Had one good UEFA Cup. Scored 18 goals in 34 appearances... In the French League.
2) Paulo Ferreira - £13m
£13m for Portugal's 2nd best right back.
3) Michael Essien - £25m
Claude Makalele's (who was bought for £16m) understudy is worth £9m more. Now with Ballack on board, he may follow the route of this next guy...
4) Shaun Wright-Phillips - £21m
The world's most expensive benchwarmer. Position could be usurped by Essien.
5) Jon Obi Mikel - £12m
And this much was paid just to snatch the lad under the red nose of Sir Fergie.
6) Andriy Shevchenko - > £30m
Fair enough, he's proven quality but he's already close to 30.
Assley Cole is young (25), English and surely the best leftback in the world at the moment. Surely he should be worth somewhere similar to Essien, who at the moment is not even the best holding midfielder in England.
Fair enough, the stupidity and selfishness of A.Hole tilts the bargaining power the way of Chelsea. But don't issue official club statements like this: -
'Although discussions have continued, Arsenal's valuation of the player does not match Chelsea's and therefore no agreement can be reached in the current circumstances.'
... And make yourselves look silly because players 1 - 5 (and possibly 6) are definitely over valued...
Go on then, Roman. Just reach into your pocket for the small change that is £10m.
August 09, 2006
Insert cliched "Cesc-sational / Fabre-lous" headline here
Finally, we've (or at least I have) gotten my diet of proper football on telly... Unlike the farce that is the latter stages of WC2006...
It was a welcome sight to see the scoreline of ZAGREB 0 ARSENAL 3 at the end of 90 minutes at 5 in the morning (Still steady come in work on time ok. All that practise during the World Cup has paid off!).
A few observations from the match: -
1) Bergkamp who? - We have Van Persie!!
2) Adebayor has the touch of two Michael Owens... Make that two Michael Owen left legs...
3) Fabregas has added strength and pace to his game.
4) Campbell who? - Djorou is going to be a class act!!
5) Ashley who? - ... Ashley is the money grubbing prick, that's who.
6) No Jose in sight, so he's definitely leaving... And potentially, future observations may include "Reyes who? - Rosicky/Ribery Rocks!!"
7) ... Fair enough, Rosicky had a low key debut... He tends to drift to the middle, but hopefully this will be sorted out soon enough...
We controlled the game last night, without really pushing hard. Our new No. 4 bossed the midfield like our old No.4 did, but made the runs and shots that the old one never did! Two well-taken Fabregas goals in between a typical dodgy eastern European 'keeper mistake and we've got one foot in the Champs League...
... And the best part... We haven't even qualified for it and we're ranked higher than that "other London team"! HAH!!!
It was a welcome sight to see the scoreline of ZAGREB 0 ARSENAL 3 at the end of 90 minutes at 5 in the morning (Still steady come in work on time ok. All that practise during the World Cup has paid off!).
A few observations from the match: -
1) Bergkamp who? - We have Van Persie!!
2) Adebayor has the touch of two Michael Owens... Make that two Michael Owen left legs...
3) Fabregas has added strength and pace to his game.
4) Campbell who? - Djorou is going to be a class act!!
5) Ashley who? - ... Ashley is the money grubbing prick, that's who.
6) No Jose in sight, so he's definitely leaving... And potentially, future observations may include "Reyes who? - Rosicky/Ribery Rocks!!"
7) ... Fair enough, Rosicky had a low key debut... He tends to drift to the middle, but hopefully this will be sorted out soon enough...
We controlled the game last night, without really pushing hard. Our new No. 4 bossed the midfield like our old No.4 did, but made the runs and shots that the old one never did! Two well-taken Fabregas goals in between a typical dodgy eastern European 'keeper mistake and we've got one foot in the Champs League...
... And the best part... We haven't even qualified for it and we're ranked higher than that "other London team"! HAH!!!
How to earn mass adulation and stilll come out smelling like manure
Shag a granny a night
Eat three pies with each meal.
Get a red card a month
Read a page of Gazza's autobiography a night and write a book in the summer.
Play tic tac toe over a ball
Rape a girl to dispell gay iconic status
Throw sissy fits
Cry, cry and cry some more
Bitch fight with each other
Rape a girl to dispell gay iconic status
Throw sissy fits
Cry, cry and cry some more
Bitch fight with each other
Get thoroughly pussywhipped by a has-been trollop
Wear sarung and pink nail polish
Shag skanks
Do a rugby kick during a penalty
Generally behave like a wanker
Wear sarung and pink nail polish
Shag skanks
Do a rugby kick during a penalty
Generally behave like a wanker
Forever be remembered as King of Karate
Fight with Ince
Fight with Beckham
Fight with Keane
Fight with Horsey
Fight with horse trainer
Fight with Wenger
Fight with Arsenal players
Fight with journalists
Fight with everybody basically except Gary Neville who polishes his shoes.
Fight with Beckham
Fight with Keane
Fight with Horsey
Fight with horse trainer
Fight with Wenger
Fight with Arsenal players
Fight with journalists
Fight with everybody basically except Gary Neville who polishes his shoes.
You are all stoooooooooooooopid. Classy lot innit? No wonder it smells a bit off here.
August 08, 2006
O Captain Your Captain, Where is Your WAG?
This is the captain of Manchester United States:
Not bad. First season as captain, and already had a nice little Mickey Mouse Cup to hold up. Much cuter than the league, FA Cup and Champion's League trophies, definitely. We so jeles.
But wait, despite having a nice little cup, Gary is still a little shy.
You see, you tend to get that way when the official photographs of you on your own club's website look like these:
Ok, so that last one was from uglyfootballers.com, but you get the picture.
You also tend to get a tad embarassed when you don't have your own WAG to represent you at a WAG-World-Cup party, and have to send your father instead:
(picture of Inflatable-World-Cup-winning father Neville Neville taken from Daily Mail)
... and he ends up doing this :
(Picture of wet shirt daddy taken from The Sun)
No wonder Phil ran away to Everton....
Not bad. First season as captain, and already had a nice little Mickey Mouse Cup to hold up. Much cuter than the league, FA Cup and Champion's League trophies, definitely. We so jeles.
But wait, despite having a nice little cup, Gary is still a little shy.
You see, you tend to get that way when the official photographs of you on your own club's website look like these:
Ok, so that last one was from uglyfootballers.com, but you get the picture.
You also tend to get a tad embarassed when you don't have your own WAG to represent you at a WAG-World-Cup party, and have to send your father instead:
(picture of Inflatable-World-Cup-winning father Neville Neville taken from Daily Mail)
... and he ends up doing this :
(Picture of wet shirt daddy taken from The Sun)
No wonder Phil ran away to Everton....
pre-season liverpool bash #2
AnubisEgyptian God of Death
PoseidonGreek God of the Sea
ThorViking God of Thunder
Robbie FowlerScum God of Ugly Coke Sniffing Dogs
(did you manage to spot the difference in the two pictures? i still can't)
Here we see Robbie earning some extra pocket money from his part time job at the Merseyside Maritime Museum, since he spends all his (paltry) Liverpool wages on coke and just in case the real estate market in the Slums go into recession.
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