YAY! The season starts today! And to celebrate the first Start-of-Season Hantu Bola post, here are some predictions for the new season, courtesy of the Hantu Keciks and the Head Hantus.
First up, the Hantu Keciks...
(BTW, I'll add Scorkes' predictions later... these are all I have at er... press time. And don't even bother askign about Kakibangku...)
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Gooners Naz & S-Kay (well, mostly Naz):
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4: Chelsea (ugh!), Arsenal, Liverpool, Man U
Bottom 3: Wigan, Reading, Watford
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Dirk Kuyt
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Buy - A. Cole (Technically, still haven't bought him yet!) / Sell - Gallas
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Adrian Boothroyd (Watford) (Do I get a bonus point for Niall Quinn to sack himself at Sunderland?)
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Steven Gerrard - Missing leopard print undies. Ok Seriously... Neil Warnock to be slapped with a fine from the FA for one of his politically incorrect statements.
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Gooner TopTenSimon:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4:Ars, Che, ManU, Liv
Bottom 3: sheffield, watford, portsmouth
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
owen can count or not? if not then ballack.
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
A.Hole. Failing which some stopgap leftback at $15mil that will last 12months.
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Roeder in February. My second guess is Dowie sometime in March.
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
on pitch - bellamy
off pitch - bellamy.
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Sashibusygiler
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4: Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal, Spurs.
Bottom 3: Fulham, Watford, Reading.
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Heskey, Carrick
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Buy Cole, sell Gallas.
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Chris Coleman
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Rooney/Ronaldo, finally airing dirty laundry in public.
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Our resident Toon Comedien, Anttyk:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4: Chelski (champs), The Arse, Liverpool, The Toon
Bottom 3: Watford (last), Sheffield United, Wigan
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Michael Carrick.
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Cashley Cole.
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Alex Ferguson. Glenn Roeder will last a couple of years, until Alan Shearer gets his UEFA coaching license and takes over.
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Christina Ronaldo for smacking Fergit on the head with a trout while prancing around.
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'Prideful' Devil Din:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4: Manchester United (champs), Liverpool (runners-up) & Chelsea (3rd), Arsenal (4th)
Bottom 3: Aston Villa (18th), Sheffield United (19th) & Watford (20th)
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Michael Ballack & Damien Duff.
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Buy: Carlos Tevez
Sell: Didier Drogba, Arjen Robben
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
5 and a half months (gets sacked after X'mas)
5) Which player will be the centre of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Peter Crouch, for having intimate relations with a goalpost at Anfield. :p.... No lah, I think it should unfortunately be Wayne Rooney, for yet another red-card incident involving kicking a 'saved' ball held on the ground by a rival goalkeeper, and breaking the keeper's hand at the same time. He will get it from everyone: teammates, manager, fans, media....the works. Gets a 1 month ban. He would probably clean-up after this and inspire Man Utd to the title.
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And now, for our Scouser chicks:
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Mrs Michael Lilyliverbird Owen:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4: Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea, Spurs
Bottom 3:Everton, Sheffield United, Watford
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Carrick: More of a Pirlo when Manure needs a Gattuso. Not the answer to Keane's departure. Overrated. But beggars can't be choosers hahahaha
Bollocks - will not get on with Lampoop
Heskey: From a lumbering piece of metal to an imbecile lumbering piece of metal
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Sell: Drogba (won't play second fiddle to Sheva) Plus any of the following: Geremi, Essien, Joe Cole, Robben, SWP,
Buy: Any big player Manure, Arsenal and Liverpool want, just to spite us. Will then proceed to bench the poor bloke. Plus a left back - either A Hole or Abidal
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Errr..Fergit? About bloody time innit?
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
1. Hopefully another bitchfight between Roo Roo and Christina
2. Bellamy, Pennant and Fowler will either burn down the house of parliament or better, steal Moanrinho's hubcabs
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StrayBeautyBex:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4: Head says Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal, Manchester United, heart says Liverpool, Arsenal, Tottenham, West Ham United
Bottom 3: Fulham, Reading, Portsmouth/Sheffield United/Watford [I know, not very helpful. Sorry. =p]
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Michael Carrick
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Gallas hopefully. [Wait, is he considered a big-named player?]
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Er, wild guess, David Moyes.
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Rooney for glaring at the referee after he steps on some pretty boy's face by accident and completely disfigures it. Maybe it'll be Ronaldo, though he looks more like a penguin than a pretty boy, but all the girls seem to think he's one.
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And finally, the Head Hantus...
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Chelski Tigerjoeshaggerton:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top 4: Chelsea, Tottenham, Arsenal, Liverpool
Bottom 3: Fulham, Reading, Watford
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Any amount of money paid for Djimi Traore and Emile Heskey is a waste; but my picks are Michael Carrick (if he doesn't last till xmas) and Andrew Johnson.
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Buy: None this season, although there might be a defender brought in on loan in January
Sell: None (note: Ashley Cole is not a big-named player; the shrimp is not even a big player to begin with.)
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
The Glazers will decide that Fergie has lost the plot, and replace him with Sven.
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Opening weekend, Sheffield vs Liverpool: Harry Kewell will break down in tears after Neil Warnock calls him a fag and the Liverpool squad a bunch of bumfuckers; Rafa gets into a fist-fight with Warnock to prove his manliness but gets knowcked down instead, and the home crowd starts singing "Macho Man".
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ManVincentYoonited:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top four: Manyoo (durrrrr), Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool
Bottom 3 (from bottom up): Watford, Fulham, Wigan, (no shits, i tell you)
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Shevchenko and Berbatov
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
Sell SWP, buy Ashley Cole (durr)
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Chris Coleman
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Craig Bellamy, for being filmed kicking a dog and eating the puppies (I
couldn't be serious forever, could I?)
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EyeriscouserinKL:
1) Your predictions for top four and bottom three, in sequence
Top four: Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal, Spurs
Bottom 3 (from bottom up): Sheffield United, Watford, Fulham
2) Which major transfers will be the biggest wastes of money?
Emile Heskey. But of course.
3) Which big-named player will Chelski buy/sell next?
They'll be linked to Tevez, Ronaldinho, Podolski and Nesta, will TRY to buy Adriano, but would end up paying 30 million for Torres instead
4) Which manager will be sacked first (aka. how long will Glenn Roeder last as Newcastle manager?)
Toss-up between Chris Coleman, Stuart Pierce or Gareth Southgate (who is sacked after four games in a row playing himself in striker, despite 'hanging up his boots' kononnya, because "I've always wanted to play striker, but no gaffer would let me.")
5) Which player will be the center of the first controversy, and for what reason?
Drogba and Gary Neville accidently punch each other while trying to smack the ball with their hands, and sparks a free-for-all in which Rooney swings a sly one at Ronaldo, Lampard tries to kick the ball at Ferdinand but it ends up hitting Van Der Sar in goal instead, and Fergit throws Heinze at Mourinho
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