May 31, 2006

The 1st ever Hantu Bola Awards!!!

We were supposed to come up with this list ages ago, after the regular football season had ended, but I guess everyone got caught up with work and other stuff. Anyway, this first Hantu Bola Awards thingy was suggested by Simon, with ideas contributed by me, Vincent and Tigerjoe.

Now, without further ado, I present to you....


The 1st Hantu Bola Awards - Winners list


GENERAL AWARDS:

The Wenger "I didn't see it" Award:
Martin "PLAY IT CARRICK! PLAY IT! PLAY IT!" Jol

The Chop Souey Award for Worst Manager: A tie between Graeme "Chop" Souness and Mick "15 points" McCarthy

The Henchoz Award for Best Goalkeeping by an Outfield Player: Kolo Toure

The Gary Neville Volleyball Player of the Year Award: Didier "Sly Hands" Drogba

The Fu Mingxia Award for best Diver: Arjen "WHEE!" Robben

The Alexi Lalas award for worse hairstyles: Djibril "Bleached idiot" Cisse & Harry "Pansy" Kewell

The Gui'Varch Award for Best name with an Aposthrophe: Franck Songo'o (Portsmouth)

The Carrol-Garcia Award for most controversial 'non-goal': Didier "Disallowed Hand of God" Drogba, vs Fulham

The Winston Bogarde Bench Warming Award: Ruud "What the hell am I doing here?" Van Nistelrooy

The Ipswich Award for most over-achieving team: Wigan Athletic

The Veron Biggest Waste of money award: Jonathan "Madrid has nice hospitals" Woodgate

The Stupidest Goal Award: Didier "Fall over and finish with my shin" Drogba

The Djibril Cisse Best Broken Leg Award: Alan "OUCH" Smith

Best impersonation of a goal-post: Peter Crouch

Best Excuse for Defeat: Martin "IT WAS THE LASAGNA!" Jol


ACTING AWARDS:

Best Solo Performance in a Comedy defending Role:
Jean Alain Boumsong

Best Performance in a Dramatic Role: Arjen "ME THROAT! ME THROAT!" Robben

Best Ensemble in a comedy defending role: Rio Ferdinand & Edwin Van Der Sar

Best Ensemble in a comedy Attacking role: Thierry Henry & Robert Pires in THAT penalty farce


SPECIAL AWARDS:

Winner of the Michael Owen Prize for the player who moves to a "bigger" club in the same season his former club makes the Champions League final: Patrick Vieira

Winner of the I'm The Man Trophy for the single most influential individual act during a match that pretty much decided the result: Steven Gerrard's 50 metre backpass, versus Arsenal at HIghbury


This is by no means a definite final list. Anyone with anymore ideas on what to add to the list, do comment below. :D

No comments: