So we've come to the penultimate game of the European calendar. On paper, it appears that Barcelona are the favourites for tonight. Well no doubt, Barca are a great team going forward led by Super Ron. They are hardly a one-man team of course, but stopping him would be a great advantage no less.
Here's how we can do just that: -
1. Switch Barca's hotel booking to Paris Marriott Hotel Champs Elysees (note: I checked this out. It exists). Ensure lasagna is the only thing availble on the menu.
2. Henry to challenge Ron to a Joga Bonito skills competition. Loser has to sit out final. As a safer bet, perhaps a 100 metre sprint competition will do.
3. Arsenal's seat allocation on the front row is to be lined by Ron's former female conquests during his time in Paris. The sight of former PSG coach, Luis Fernandez in drag will definitely be an added bonus.
4. All rubber bands/hair bands to be nicked from Barca's locker room. Hopefully the Maggi Mee hair will get in the way. Added bonus if hair product stings eyes.
5. A halftime lecture by leading Dentists on "Orthodonthia and The Magic of Braces with the Womenfolk" should distract Ronnie from the half-time team talk.
6. On a similar vein, Arsenal first XI to wear fake bunny teeth to throw him off his game. Pat Rice barking orders wearing them would also help.
7. Eboue to change a few studs with rugby spikes. Sharpening the spikes ala ice hockey skates would do wonders. Knee-high tackles in the first two minutes is highly recommended.
8. Kill him.