December 06, 2005

who's your daddy?

Everyone knows that Roman Abramovich is the benefactor of Chelsea FC, record-breaking champions of the English Premier League. The ultimate dream man of every wannabe tai-tai. That very the handsome photo of Roman, watching over Chelsea fans as they pray before every match, comes from his very own website.

But who are the sugar daddies of the other 19 teams in the EPL?

Every ManYoo fan worth his / her salt should be able to recognise this feller. Malcolm Glazer's red hair and beard almost match the team colours of the club that he owns. Very popular with the fans, especially when he fires a senile Fergie at the end of this season.

The pimp on the right is the one and only "Deadly" Doug Ellis, who at 82 years of age is probably the oldest club owner in the EPL, if not the entire world. Love him or hate him, Villa fans have to put up with this man. He does look like one of the ham sap old men who hit on young chicks at Beach Club or Hard Rock Cafe, doesn't he?

The gentleman who looks like everyone's favourite uncle, towkay of Harrod's, and at one time would-be father-in-law of the late Princess of Wales, Mr. Mohamed Al Fayed, owner of Fulham FC. I still cannot figure out why he can't get PR status in the UK after all these years. Maybe UK Immigration are still sore that his late son went and kao Princess Diana. Maybe he should try kao-ing Queen Elizabeth.

Fat Freddie Shepherd is owner of Newcastle United, a mid-table big club that don't seem to have recovered from losing a lead of 11 points at the top of the league way back in the 1995/96 season. Although berated as an idiot by most tabloid journalists, I think respect is due to any feller who can convince a club like Real Madrid to pay £13.4 million for an injured defender. Respect.

Arsenal don't have a sugar daddy; but whether their fans admit it or not, the club is pwned by an Arab airline company. A bunch of sheikhs dangled some money in front of the Arsenal Board of Directors about a year back, and from next season onwards the Gooners will be playing at the Emirates Stadium.

The other clubs in the EPL don't seem to have very the famous owners, so I don't think it would be worthwhile mentioning any of the other clubs. Then again, I would just like to point out that Liverpool FC fans came very close to having to learn Thai, if a certain gentleman had gotten his way some time back.

[photo of Roman The Man comes from his website, all other pics were googled]


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