You can't run, You can't pass, What are you going to do?

FOREWORD BY EYERIS: This post was S-Kay's initiation test, where we asked her to write a short post dissing Pascal Cygan to show how hardcore a football fan she is... Needless to say, Naz helped her as he is a more hardcore Cygan 'fan' than she is and they passed. :P enjoy!)

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I've been an Arsenal supporter and a football fan in general for close to 16 years and I have been lucky enough to have witnessed illumineries of the game such as Van Basten, Romario, Ronaldo (the fat one), Ronaldinho, Henry and Zidane.

It's great how "World Class" teams consistently have this one very special player who has that something special in him that can turn the game around for his team. But they also have this one very special player who can turn the game around for his team... The other way...if you know what I mean, I'm referring to the donkeys in the team. The thorn among the roses. The ciku among the Washington Apples.

These are the players that you wonder how in heaven's name did they drug the coaches into thinking that they can get into the team ahead of your Grand-Aunt Fanny. For example, Man Utd has Darren Fletcher. Liverpool has Djimi Traore (although lately, Peter Crouch has been desperate to be labelled such a player). Chelsea has... Well... Er... Well they used to have Winston Bogarde on their books. But Arsenal... In a team that exemplifies silky smooth passing, quick movement off the ball, defence splitting through-the-head-of-the-needle passes and wonder goals, you wonder how Pascal Cygan is even in the reserve team.

Put it this way. If Cygan was on SoccaStars with Simon Cowell as a panel judge, his curt assessment of the bald one would be, "You can't pass, you can't run, you can't tackle, you can't read the game, you can't position yourself". Unfortunately, I don't think Cygan can reply, "I've had no professional training as a footballer", can he? Or perhaps he can, judging from his recent performance at leftback. This guy can make Traore look like Thuram!

I'm still shocked that Arsene chose to sell Upson and keep Cygan, but hey, maybe Arsene likes to used his bald plate as a mirror whenever he's on the bench. Or perhaps he makes a mean creme brule for team picnics. Heaven knows...

But no matter what, he was on the verge of a hattrick in a league game a couple of months ago that gave us a win (or was it Champs League?). And above all, it is good to have an adrenaline rush every now and then with every misplaced pass, misjudged header, mistimed tackle and overall patheticity... You know, just to make sure you heart is functioning properly.... Ok lah I'm exagerrating a bit. He's not thaaaat bad a player.... He's just bad.

Love him or hate him, he's still in an Arsenal shirt. And we as Arsenal fans must support him all the way no matter what... As long as he remains on the bench!