December 02, 2005

whaddaya know?

I'll bet Fergie is going purple in the nose and green in the eyes at this very moment; as his cheeks flare up beyond a deep scarlet. Imagine the steam coing out of Fergie's ears, as a junior gurkha from the ManYoo back office handed him today's news clippings earlier this morning, and the Purple Hair Dryer sees the top item on the list:

Bayern Munich offer Ballack to Chelsea and Real Madrid.

The old man will be screaming:

WTF!?! KNNMCHCCB!!!

[Don't ask me how come Sir Alex knows how to curse in a language other than Scottish k, I don't know him that well.]

I'm sure the memories of ManYoo being beaten to the signature of Arjen Robben, and failing to actually bring Jon Mikel Obi to the Theatre of Dreams, will just add to the purpleness that is Fergie's cheeks and nose. *mwahahahahaha*

Seriously though, is it any wonder that while other clubs have to get in line and submit applications in writing to buy another club's star player, Chelsea and Real Madrid actually get invited to make an offer. That, my friends, is called The Datin Treatment.

While all the other peasants like you and me have to wake up early and queue outside Isetan before 10 a.m. for the Members' Sale, certain people (i.e. usually Datins) get invitation cards and are allowed in through a separate entrance without queueing. This is what we refer to as The Datin Treament, but don't take the previous example word-for-word lah dey. Of course I had to change the name of the business enterprise, to protect people's interests.

The point is, there are football clubs on this planet that will get special treatment when it comes to buying players. The list is very exclusive and very short though, and for now only includes Chelsea FC, Real Madrid and Bolton Wanderers. I'm serious, Bolton gets invited to make an offer for all other clubs' players who are approaching 40 and planning to retire.

Toodles

[the grimmest photo of Fergie I could find comes from my favouritest online footy news site.]

14 comments:

eyeris said...

Bayern smart also. they know Man Utd damn broke. and with Chelsea in the picture, any club that wants ballack have to pay TEN TIMES MORE than the normal value.

Naz said...

I know what you mean Eyeris. Arsenal wanted to go for SWP before Chelsea came up with a £21m bid.
Latest rumours is that we're looking at Fernando Torres. And what does Chelsea do?... Oh just put in a £25m bid.
Sometimes I feel they're buying players so that other clubs can't have them.

lishun said...

i think i screamed in my car when i heard this bit of news this morning. i can't remember if i really did or not because i was in such a rage. bleh. money. it's ALL about money! phooey.

S-Kay said...

"Daddy! Daddy! I want a new toy!", says Jose.
"A new toy? Ok! I give you money..you buy your toy", says Roman while smiling at his 'son'.
"Good! Now I have de (available) best, I am de best!", Jose grins widely.

naz said...

But does Man U realllllly need Ballack? How are you going to play him Scholes in midfield? Let him go to Chelsea and disrupt their midfield and cause Lampard to end his record run ;p

YungJie said...

Just trust Sir Alex what he is doing . Personally , I think Ballack just too old to go to Man.UTD .

sashi said...

i don't get this post. why would fergie be mad?

the fact that bayern are offering ballack to real and chelsea only shows how desperate bayern are. this also reinforces the suspicion that ballack IS going to manutd in the summer when his contract expires. besides, neither chelsea or real are stupid enough to pay money for a player who is cup-tied in the champs league when they can get him for free next season. the bidding war begins - summer of 2006!

vincent said...

I don't think Ballack will go anywhere in January. If he waits till summer, he can go for free AND negotiate a FUCKING HUGE pay package.

Ghoul said...

Mourinho already stated Chelsea had no need, nor want Ballack. Case close :)

why do we need Ballack when Essien is there? :) Go figure.

vincent said...

Because, you dumb twat, Essien and Ballack are different kind of players.

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