"Joe went back to a party at Keeley's house with a group of people. He was assaulted by another man. He left the party and got a taxi home. He did not receive medical treatment."
No medical treatment? Man, Chelski's employee benefits suck!
Well, at least I see they got my message. Now pay a visit to Terry, boys....
UPDATE: The funny thing is that Joe boy here is not taking any action against his assailant. My theory? He got fresh with Ms Keeley and she beat him up, and in order to protect their kejantanan, made up a story about getting beaten up by a man.
Btw, if you want to know who Keeley Hazell is, check this out. Yeah, I know.