ConspirARSEy Theory

First of all, Happy New Year to the fellow bloggers and readers. 2005 was indeed a great year for both myself and Skay, career wise and accademically, respectively.

Too bad about the Arse...

I haven't been online in a while, no thanks to work commitments. But I was surprised (and hopeful) when I read this http://www.football365.com/news/story_172971.shtml on F365 today.

Anyway, Skay and I were watching the Villa VS Arsenal game on Saturday, and it was a PATHETIC display in midfield! Fabs is no ball winner, and with all the games he's had, being young is not an excuse anymore. Flamini... Well... There's no way he can be Vieira can he?

So my girlfiend asked me, why the hell then did Arsenal sell their captain? (Of course she didnt say hell lah, but lately she's been cussin' a lot!)... And I was stumped! I don't know why, honestly (no, not why she's been cussin' so much, but why Vieira was sold).

I've given it some thought though, so this is my Top 10 reasons why Arsenal sold Vieira:-

1. Arsene Wenger left his glasses at home (as usual). He ter-sold Vieira when all along he wanted to sell Gilberto.
2. "Redcurrent" just wasn't his colour.
3. The new stadium was costing a bomb, so the ceiling was built at a maximum height of 6'2". Unfortunately, Jens Lehmann (and Peter Crouch) will not be able to play at the Emirates next year. We should be looking at buying Shay Given or Casillas.
4. The Arsenal kit-man wasn't too pleased having to wash the Vicks Vapourub off Pat's jersey.
5. The kit-man was even more pissed when the rest of team started using Vicks. Again, costs of the stadium was escalating, so we needed to save on laundry expenses.
6. We've already vacated the jersey numbers 2, 5 and 6, so we got rid off 4 this year. We'll be looking at losing 3 and 7 next year.
7. Juve convinced Pat that racism was improving in Italy these days.
8. Paddy was complaining that his book had no plot twists. David Dein obliged.
9. David Dein lost a bet to the Glazers, and the winner got to keep their captain... Oh well...
10. Our physio, Gary Lewin discovered "Insta Grow" for the kids. The formulae is yet to be perfected...