Don't run away!
This is still a football blog!
Or at least I think it is. Anyway, the word on the street is that some blogger peepur aren't happy that some random books out there are being banned. You may think that this has nothing to do with football, but it DOES!
One of the books listed that is 'Being Jordan'.
Now, that is a travesty indeed! See, we Malaysians are kinda fascinated with football, and the gomen spends millions and millions on trying to improve football in the country. But they fail to realise that Jordan has a shit load to do with football! I mean...she fucked Dwight Yorke and Teddy Sheringham for fucks sake!
Staying on the topic, there are however a few books which I don't think anybody would mourn the loss of. In these cases, they should be banned because they WILL honestly ruin us as a nation. Contrary to what some book fanatics might have you think, some books are just pure evil:
Wayne Rooney's My Story So Far
Anything that is produced by a boy who managed to grow a bushy beard at a mere 19 years old has got to be deemed extremely evil. Especially if that man-boy produces an autobiography at just 20 years old, and once had sex with a 55 year old prostitute who charged him £45. The story has it that he paid her £50 and patiently waited for her to get the change from a friend.
Should be banned because : It might promote disgusting sex crimes with geriatrics.
Cashley Cole's My Defence
Here, potential law students can learn to practice how NOT to defend something utterly ridiculous. Malaysians can also note a certain similarity here by someone who moans and groans about everything, even though it was his fault from the get go. Might be a good read for little kids (I mean 5 year olds) who throw tantrums just for not getting candy.
Should be banned because : The author allegedly took part in a gay orgy, which goes without saying is a very very bad thing that can lead to moral degradation of our society, you know.
Any David Beckham book
Look, here is a man who goes around in public wearing a sarong and pink nail varnish (really). He talks like a rat nibbling at something, got all whinny when a tiny football boot hit him on the head, and is basically everything that is wrong with football.
Should be banned because : Reading books (allegedly) written by him will guarantee a permanent IQ reduction of 50 points.
Please feel free to add to this community service message and petition for more ridiculous books to be banned.....