November 30, 2006

Abnormal News #2

LIVERPOOL, Nov 29 - A new form of football may soon find its way into the Barclays Premier League.

Top Liverpool striker Peter Crouch may be its head protoganist. The Anfield hero, considered by many Liverpool fanatics all over the world as the best ever striker to don the Carlsberg-logoed jersey, has been in the limelight ever his his high-profile 7 million pounds move from Southampton. He has also been popular with many dancing Coca-Cola cans since doing the Croucherena, now a popular Merseyside dance in local discotheques. Some car owners have been reported to perform the Croucherena dance every night as a prayer to avoid theft of hubcaps.

During the match against Portsmouth, his super flexible body allowed him to attack the Pompey defence, culminating fear into the opposing players even though some of them were not interested in marking him. This is because Peter Crouch gave birth to Kungfu Football.

So stylish is the play, that many pundits around the world as hailing Kungfu Football as the game's new buzzword.

Malaysian poondeque Shebby 'Serbegeth' Singh, has hailed the Anfield hero, and offered his views.

"Many years ago when a certain pre-rich London club was under a certain manager called Ruud Gullit, they were trying on the then newly-coined term 'sexy football'. We all know what happened since then now don't we? This time I am optimistic that Kungfu Football will not suffer the same fate because, come on....that Peter Crouch fellow is so likeable, and hardcore Liverpool fans in Malaysia, especially in Petaling Jaya, love him to bits. Plus, Crouchy is so much more popular than that Liverpool traitor Michael Owen. "

After the Pompey game, we managed to secure an exclusive interview with the talismanic future Liverpool captain Peter Crouch and he only had this to say, "Screw Shaolin Soccer, Kungfu Football is the way to go!"

It is rumoured that Peter Crouch will go on a World Tour to promote Kungfu Football. Liverpool fanatics around the world will surely be excited.

No comments: