November 27, 2006

lazy journalism

Being a little free in the office today, I spent the day reading numerous reports on last night's game. Different websites, but all saying the same shit over and over again. Last night's pundits couldn't help but repeating themselves over and over again too.

1) Louis Saha
"Louis has been like a caged animal in training......." - Fergie
Every fucking report does nothing more than to talk about how Saha redeemed himself last night after the "shocker" at Celtic. What are you muppets rambling about? The Celtic game was his first bad game of the season! He does not need to fucking redeem himself you twats!

2) Andriy Shevchenko

While all the reports acknowledged that he had a bad game, the journalists were pretty easy on him. For £35 million, you would think that they would be calling Shevchenko a waste of money. I said it before the season started (and I am in the process of winning a bet with TJ) SHEVCHENKO SUCKS ASS. Any idiot that cannot score against Jerzy 'I am a clown' Dudek from one yard out IS NOT A FOOTBALLER. But of course they all seem to point to the fact that he is a world class player who did all those wonderful things in Italy and hence we should go easy on them. Funny, they never accorded the same privillege to Seba Veron. But we all know that is because Veron is an Argentinian, and the evil British press just hates Argies.

3) Jose Mourinho

Don't get me wrong. I love this guy. I think he is fucking brilliant and I love his press conferences for the sheer ability of this man to dumbfuck everybody else. But for the press to go on and on about how he was a tactical genius is beyond my understanding. Nobody with brains would have played a midfield diamond knowing the devastating power of Manyoo's wingers (which, through psychic powers Fergie managed to listen to my advice). And when Mourinho realised that at half time, he did what anybody who knows football would have done. He fucking addressed the problem. What's so brilliant about that?

Ronaldo giving you problems? Put THREE men on him. Geremi playing shite? Take him outlah! It was obvious that he was going to do all that. You are away from home, playing the league leaders and you are 1-0 down. ITS A NO BRAINER to go for it. All or nothing! They aren't Liverpool (who seem to like getting reamed in the arse playing away). Of course they were going to attack. There is nothing brilliant about that, okay?

4) Manyoo's squad

Yes, yes. We get it already. Manyoo has a useless squad. Do you really need to keep harping on it? Is it going to change anytime soon? It's not as if Fergie can go out and buy players NOW, can he? You can harp about Liverpool playing shitty because Rafa can actually change that. But what would you have Fergie do right now? Shut the fuck up and start complaining if the January window opens. Besides, Solskjaer is injured right now. Tell me, who the fuck is capable of replacing Drogba if he gets injured? (read number 2 before trying to suggest anything)

I swear, any idiot can be a sports journalist. You don't need research or knowledge of the game. You just need to be able to say things that sound clever. Like for example, there was this article in the Guardian the other day that was written after Saha missed the 89th minute penalty at Celtic. The idiot wrote that Ruud prolly would have the steel and would have scored it and because of that we are missing Ruud. The asshole conveniently missed out the point that at that exact same moment, Ruud missed an 88th minute penalty for Real against Lyon.

And it is for that reason, and that reason alone, due to all the shitty competition out there, HantuBola is the place to be.

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