April 15, 2006

Sunderland Says Goodbye...


(Image of the gay crybaby from Soccernet.com)

Don't Cry for Me Man United

Don't cry for me Chris Ronaldo....
The truth is we never beat you.
We could only draw games,
And get relegated,
But at least we came here,
And finished goalless...

- Sunderland's farewell, Evita-style


Yes, cry, you deluded gay crybaby, cry.

no difference

A minor setback.

Chelsea will lose to Bolton and Blackburn and the great ManyooTM

We will still win the fucking league.

But never mind all that. This is my post and I can deflect all our problems away by concentrating on other stuffs (very much like what politicians worldwide do actually).

My quote of the week goes to Djibril Cisse:

"Here at Liverpool it's Stevie G who teases me about my clothes. Sometimes I go to the showers, and when I come back he's wearing my clothes. I have funny underwear, like zebra print, so he puts on my underpants and walks around the dressing room" - Djibril Cisse reveals Stevie G is part of the gay club.
I don't know about you guys, but I won't be caught dead wearing another blokes underpants, never mind zebra ones.

And so, a poll would be fitting!


Create polls and vote for free. dPolls.com

April 13, 2006

18-man Malaysian World Cup Team announced

KUALA LUMPUR: The following 18 man team has been announce to represent Malaysia in the upcoming Protong/Perutdua World Kapcai tournament:

------------------------------------------------------

Goalkeeper: Yan Lemang

Left Back: Asli Kuli
Right Back: Lilin Tulan

Centreback: Ali Santhok Nestum
Centreback: Yammy KariKai

Left Winger: Wee Seng Teh
Right Winger: Loo Fee Goh

Central Midfield: Makan Balak
Central Midfield: Pelabur Amah

Striker: Wang Loo Ni
Striker: Roti Dahl Dino

Subs: Pita Ceh (keeper), Jawi Alongsoh, Loh Been Ho, Ceh Fab Bagus, Sitiawan Jelak, Jom Terrer, Pak Jusong,

Manager: Lafa Bin Itik
Assistant: Sang Goreng Asam

April 12, 2006

Here We Lyon Again....

Does this sound vaguely familiar to you?


Lyon demand over £23m for United target Diarra

Manchester United have been warned they will have to pay in excess of £23m if they want to prise Mahamadou Diarra away from Lyon as their big summer transfer. - Guardian Unlimited Football

Yer gods, sounds like Essiengate all over again. What odds Chelsea gets dragged into THIS transfer talk in one way or another as well?

It'll be just what we needed, another transfer saga involving a Lyon player with an name that sounds like something that comes out of an Ess....

April 10, 2006

i told you so

I told you we were going to win the league.

I told you Arsenal are getting through the Champions League like Liverpool...by fluke.

I told you Sanderos was not a footballer.

I told you Micheal Owen was a pathetic fuck who cheats his friends (ok, maybe I didn't tell you, but I told some other people once a long time ago)

And now I am telling you this...

Chelsea will drop points either against Bolton or Blackburn.

Manyoo will go to Stamford Bridge and win.

Chelsea will lead the table going into the final game of the season.

But in that game, Alan Shearer's final game ever, he will give a footballing lesson to Chelsea's strikers on consistency.

And in the end, Manyoo fans worldwide will hail Mary Poppins for not going to Manyoo after all.



I was watching Final Score on Sunday morning when I realised something.

You know the Portsmouth logo??

Surely you've seen it before?

yes! yess! yyeesssss!!!

It's 16 minutes into the match. We are one goal down and a man short. What could be the solution?

Try 2 goals either side of half-time. It's the stuff of fooking legends.

Shagging opposition fans does work. Sometimes.

Toodles

April 09, 2006

mister k, i rove youse

Middlesbrough 1 : Newcastle 2

Hehehehehe. I being the very is so the happy!
Here's your drink. Cheers mister k!

Same deal next week. Hic!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Manure vs The Arse Update (1st Half)

On another note. Kolo Toure should be really proud of himself. He made one of the saves of the season! The shot from Rooney left his boot like an exocet missile. Toure recovered and dove to his right and SAVED THE SHOT! Wahlau... I was laughing like a nutter at the curses and complaints of the Manure fans around me. There was much gnashing of teeth around me. I can imagine Vincent's face now. Cheers Toure! A drink for you too for entertaining me and making me fall off my chair laughing!

Manure vs The Arse Update (2nd Half)

2 Nil. Rooney show. Ho hum... The Arse huffed and puffed, then ran out of steam. Sigh. I'm going to bed.

-----------------------------------

(Footnote by Eyeris: Wow, this may actually be the first time ever we've had a 'live update'. Soccernet and Professional Football Punditry here we come!)

April 07, 2006

HantuBola Gathering

Are you hoping that the Mancs chase down Chelsea for the title? Are you keen to see Arsenal pip Shebby's favourite team to fourth place in the Premiership? Do you want to see a drunk bald guy try to charm the pants off a waitress (before being told to fook off)?

Then come on over to the HantuBola gathering this weekend!

Date: Sunday, 9th Apr 2006
Venue: Souled Out @ Sri Hartamas, KL
Kick-Off: 11.00 pm

Scousers may want to show up a little bit earlier and watch your team lose at home to the Bolton Veterans. I know I'm going to be there to laugh at the Mancs and Gooners as they kick the green goo out of each other before drawing 1-1.
UPDATE: Due to the coolness of Souled Out management, a bottle of absolut will be attending the gathering. I'm under the impression that a bottle of whisky will also magically appear at the table, if the genie indeed shows up with his bottle. Coke on the rocks is apparently available too.

Toodles

April 06, 2006

short snippets

I remember sitting in Souled Out a few weeks ago with Tigerjoe watching the Arsenal Liverpool game and we were talking about Manyoo's shirt sponsorship deal. We actually thought they had agreed the deal with an Indonesian online gaming company of some sorts.

Nevertheless, I am happy that the Yanks realised that the corporate image of Manyoo was more important than money. Mansion were offering much much more than AIG, yet due to the branding associated with gambling, I don't think many people would have warmed up to them.

It's been a good week for us. Besides being on the road to winning the league this season, we have also smashed a big apple pie in Peter Kenyon's fat chubby face because our £56.4 million pound over a period of 4 years does nothing but PWNS Chelski's £10 million pound a year deal.

All that aside, it looks like another Mickey Mouse club would be playing in the finals of the Champions League again this year and possibly winning it too. Plenty of similarities too. The captains were supposed to leave a shitty club but now it appears not. Both clubs only have 2 English players that can actually play football and both were playing shit in the league.

The only difference is that Arsenal are actually improving now, whereelse Liverpool were still crap in the league this time last year. Of course, Arsenal remain a non-issue, and a pissy one too for they have played Chelsea two times this season and were in shitty form at that time.

Karma is a stupid fat bitch, so I am going to throw all caution into the wind and quote the famous Alan Hanson "You can't win anything with kids."

Bold prediction of the week : Van Nistelrooy comes off the bench and scores two, while Henry being his usual self, would play like shit in a big game against Manyoo.



We are thinking of a HantuBola thingy on Sunday when Manyoo play the Arse at Old Trafford. It is now officially spring and kickoff is now at 11pm local time so you can be back home by 1am. No excuses of having to work the next morning alright?!

Anybody game?

Location will be confirmed later based on feedback and suggestions....

Email me if you want to come along - bitchinglog@hotmail.com

Italian Job Completed

Right.

Italian Job completed, thankfully.

Now bring on Villareal, with their Forlans and Riquelmes.

Then, the big boys of Barca (or Milan) next.

April 04, 2006

Kayu Commenters

I be the telling yous. I is getting very the fed up with peoples who post comments like the ones below here.

“... And don't mock any professional personnels. try taking their place.”

“... their profession is a tough one. They are always under the media spotlight.”

“... not easy for them. Pressure is enormous. Why don’t you try it and see if you can do it, eh?”


I wanting to be the smacking them upside the head for being so the very irritating and self righteous.

Boo hoo hoo. I being the crying tears of sympathy for these suffer, miserable, well paid and extremely rich young men. They is so being the kasihan comparing to the peoples in others countries like Ethiopia and Uganda who are starvings to deaths and has no jobs. The football playing poor sods are tortured, dragged kicking and to be the screaming each week to run around a very is the well manicured pitch to chase a round white (in most cases) ball. If they is the very lucky, they will managing to kick the bola inside a net and then they will be loved by everyone in the land of the England and Bolehland.

Ma chao hai. I also wanting to do that for living. But cannot. Because I having the chair for a leg. In fact both legs. Tiew.

So, what can I dos? Talking abouts this peoples when I eats and drinks at high class roadside haute couture restaurant with my friends! Cannot ah? This country being the free is it not?

When I seeing the doofus Boumsong run around the pitch like a fucking headless chicken, I will call him a cheebye headless chicken. If I watching the match and I seeing the namby pamby boy Beckham failing to score from a penalty spot, I will be calling Mr Posh Spice kayu! I don’t say untruths. I say fact from what I being the observing. Of course, my eyesight is not the perfect. So sometimes got mistake due to optical illusion or maybe some pretty ah lian walk by with damn chio short skirt – distracted a bit.

If these sissy football boys cannot bear being the called names, they should shoving off and play with their Barbie dolls instead.

Lame commenters kayu!

April 03, 2006

optimism, not stupidity

Tigerjoe wagered me two pints of beer that our favourite club would win the league. I politely declined, for I figured he has a great big advantage and only an idiot in my position would take up a wager in that situation. Nevertheless, I SHALL take him up on it if we beat the non-issue and Chelsea lets Teddy Sheringham create history by actually scoring - something that Liverpool strikers would do well to emulate.

But heck, we are pretty unlucky with the non-issue. We seem to be playing them when they are on form, and not their shitty selves. Still, the non-issue aside, it is actually interesting to wonder who the Scousers are actually supporting. For me, I would rather Chelsea win the treble than to see Liverpool lift the Community Shield, and I think that feeling is pretty much mutual.

But less I get a huge apple pie thrown in my face on Sunday by that fat bitch called Karma, I should probably stop mocking other teams and concentrate on other matters. Like, a poll for instance. Polls are fun:


Create polls and vote for free. dPolls.com

Sorry, I just couldn't resist.

not to worry

It's all cool. Cool like The Fonz.

Mancs may reckon that their team will leave it till late to win the league title; but boys and girls, it's just too little too late.

Apparently, the bitch that goes by the name of Karma decided to play an April Fool's prank on Chelsea. It also seemed like she was giving me a super-special lapdance for calling Birmingham City FC the new comedy club.

Fine. I'm sorry. Satisfied now?

April 02, 2006

Chelski or Manure?

We have to admit, that despite the valiant efforts of El Liverpool, Totingham, Bolt-On, The Arse and The Toon, the 05/06 Premiership Season is basically shot. Chelski has basically bought (opps!), I mean, won it... Old Hairdryer and his team could theoretically win it. Chelski has difficult games coming up, so... There is still hope, no matter how dim.
09 April: Chelski vs Hammers
15 April: Bolton vs Chelski
17 April: Chelski vs Better Blue half of Liverpool
22 April: Chelski vs El Liverpool (FA Cup)
29 April: Chelski vs Manure (WOW!)
07 May: Toon vs Chelski
Considering how things went last night on the EPL, I though that it would be interesting to see which team is hated more - The Blues or The Reds.


Create polls and vote for free. dPolls.com

cheers mister k!

Newcastle 3 : Tottenham 1

As promised, mister k, here is your drink! Enjoy!

Same deal next week for the Boro game! Hic!