Snippets of Man Utd's Balance Sheet

Foreword: I have to admit in yesterday's 2-2 draw between Newcattle United and Manchester United, we were lucky to even get that one point. Heck, Newcattle should have won it. Too bad the Toons were just not good enough.

Lord Ghostball launches an inquiry on Man Utd's performance yesterday, seeing a hopeless first half hour display from the Red Devils. Agent Din Double O' Lemon Tea probes Man Utd's current state of affairs and find out a few things.....

Snippets of Man Utd's Balance Sheet (as of 02/01/2007)

Plant Assets
R. Giggs
G. Neville
P. Scholes

Current Assets
C. Ronaldo
N. Vidic
R. Ferdinand
P. Evra
M. Carrick
O.G. Solskjaer
J.S. Park

Intangible Assets
W. Rooney

Inventories
A. Smith
G. Rossi
G. Heinze
K. Richardson
W. Brown

Long-term Liabilities
D. Fletcher
J. O' Shea
M. Silvestre

Current Liabilities
L. Saha

Short-term Loan
H. Larsson

Prepaid Expenses
49 Goals Scored

Accounts Receivable
15 Goals Against

Marketable Securities
54 Points

With all the investigative work I 've done, inspired to do it after seeing the first half hour seeing Newcattle playing like Man Utd and Man Utd playing like shite
(what were they thinking when they were doing all those aeriel passing? Can't you lot have done your trademark ground passing?), I have concluded that Man Utd lacked finishing power. In this respect, I think Sir Fergie has done a good job in foreseeing such a thing as the title chase heats up, so he brought in Henrik. I also recommend Rooney to be bloody dropped in the next game, let him have a rest. I rather see Solskjaer on the pitch. And Fergie bloody not be thinking of putting on any Long-term liabilities on the pitch, other wise......

Thus, with that taken care of, this will just be viewed as a little hiccup on the road to the Premiership Trophy at the end of the season.

Oh, and Chelsea players are all a bunch of sheep. Just missing a sheepdog who is out with a back injury.