January 25, 2007

Football Thesis

The Most Hated Club in The World -
Liverpool, Actually.


Detective Din has probably uncovered a conspiracy theory within the world of English football fans.


Many people say Manchester United are the most hated club on the planet. Unsurprisingly, it is the Liversuckers (a term for people unfortunate enough to be supporting a scum team) who have been spewing such shit all these years, and infected supporters of other teams such as Arsenal, Chelsea, Newcastle United, etc to go against the great Manchester United. The following quality research in the thesis will shed light on the truth.

Literature Review

Detective Din has researched one web portal to support his briiliant deduction.


In order to prove that Al-Liverpoo (a fancy new name to be launched after a DIC blowjob takeover) are in fact supposed to be the most hated club on earth, we have to ask why Manchester United is considered by scumbags as the most hated club on earth first. A theory which comes to mind is that a team which has won many honours is supposed to be the most hated club on earth. If this theory is to be held true, then in fact it is supposed to be Al-Liverpoo who have garnered 58 titles in comparison with Manchester United who have 50 titles. In fact, most kiddie scousers would be able to type up such a reminder after every game Al-Liverpoo loses to some other team.

Another theory is that many scousers are jealous with Manchester United's superb style of play, compared with the drab kind of football played by Al-Liverpoo over the years. However true this is, unfortunately, there is no quantifiable measurement to prove this true.

However, knowing that the Al-Liverpoo have won the most number of titles are are supposed to be the most hated, the Liversuckers attempted to deflect the hatred to Manchester United who have just a bit fewer titles. As flattering as it may be to be recognized as the most hated team on earth because we won so many titles, we humbly also have to point out we do not deserve such an award.

Liversuckers then became smart. Knowing they can't stand the pressure of being the most hated fans on earth, they developed a strategy to avert all attention back to Manchester United. How did they do it? Simple, they formed an obscurely named coalition, called ABU.

Liversuckers just got crates of Carlsberg, got rival fans drunk, and brainwashed them to join the coalition. As a result, many of them oppose the great Manchester United as ABU fans, and not as Arsenal fans, Newcastle fans, etc. How sad indeed.


To prove that Al-Liverpoo should be the most hated team, Detective Din conducted a sample survey, n=1.

Detective Din: Which is the Most Hated Club on earth?

Random Liversucker: Manchester United!

Detective Din: Why?

Random Liversucker: Because they won so many titles! That't why!

Detective Din: Are you aware Al-Liverpoo won more titles than the great Manchester United?

Random Liversucker: Err...yesss....

Detective Din: Then according to your logic (if any), aren't Al-Liverpoo supposed to be the most hated club on earth?

Random Liversucker: Yes.

Detective Din: Then what are you going to do now?

Random Liversucker: Err...I think I'll go and burn my jersey collection now.

Detective Din: Good boy.


As a result, it is hoped this football thesis will be published in as many websites as possible to shed the truth.


ABU will be disbanded, and as it's name suggests, will become no more than a pile of ash.

Ex-members of ABU will go back to becoming Arsenal fans, Newcastle fans, etc, who oppose Manchester United because of a passion for their own club, instead of drunk nutcases under ABU who direct hatred to Manchester United which was just a propoganda of the Liversuckers.

Manchester United will not just continue being the neutral's choice to win the league title this year, they will also become the favourites.


Comment rater-theory has been introduced for this Football Thesis post.

A - A good, smart comment. A rare example of a thinking footbal fan who knows why Manchester United are the best team in the world.

B - Not good enough. To type in more reasons why Manchester United is the best team ever.

C - Very bad. Needs to learn more great stuff about Manchester United.

D - Failed. To undergo rehabilitation at kindergarden.

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