Siaran Tergendala...

Siaran infotainment kegemaran anda, Hantubola, tergendala beberapa hari disebabkan gempa bumi yang telah menggendalakan saluran Internet di Malaysia.

Jangan betulkan skrin komputer anda.

Harap Maklum.

(by the way, seeing scumbag A.Hole putting the ball past his own goalkeeper Hilario was freaking hilarious... he's an 'untouchable' alright.)

3-5-2! 3-5-2! 3-5-2!

Chelsea seem to be having a small problem in central defence - we'll only have one central defender available for the match on Saturday. Captain JT is still injured, and Khalid the Cannibal is suspended.

So, in the spirit of Shebby "If I Were Sir Alex" Singh, I'm going to pretend that I'm Jose Mourinho and solve this problem. It's simple really. We play 3-5-2 against Fulham.


Ricky Carvalho and Ashley Cole to be joined by Michael Essien in defence, since Essien's best position is rightback. Makalele to anchor the midfield, with Ballack and Lampard running things in the middle. Robben and Kalou on the flanks, with Sheva and Drog-ba-ba-boom! upfront.

Geremi can come in after the halftime break if Sheva continues to struggle, which means that Essien will then be able to push up into midfield and we can go to a 3-4-3 setup for the second half.

Assuming we have the match wrapped up, Obi-Jon can come on for Uncle Maka during the last few minutes. Didigol will then drop to central defence, leaving Robben and Kalou upfront in a more conventional 4-4-2 formation.

Works quite well in theory, no?. IF I were Jose Mourinho.

What I wanted for X'mas was my very own telestrator. What I got was a bottle of white, a photo frame and a BJ with teeth. Blargh.

The Twelve Days of Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Twelve summers no signing
Eleven kids-a-playing
Ten Van Persies leaping
Nine Adebayors dancing
Eight goals-a-leaking (at Emirates)
Seven defenders missing
Six goals and counting
Five men on the wings (ya rite!)
Four times finish third
Three French men
Two Cup Finals
And a Spaniard in our midfield!

- A belated Christmas wish from me and Skay

p/s: Are they even showing the Arsenal game tonight?

Soon, it will all be over.

First to Bata, then to school. :-)

Enjoy the rest of your time (left) here, kids.

Ghostball's Letter to Santa Claus

Dear Santa,

How are you dude? I hope you are fined. I mean, traveling across continents on your Toyota Reindeer Cruiser to give out those gifts your factory made must really be taxing eh?

Ok, let's cut to the chase since I am no good at formalities. Numero Uno, I get to ask you for some gifts since, #2, I have been a good ghost all year and, C, I recently celebrated my 1st Birthday! Ain't that a compelling reason to give me what I want? Hmmm? :-)

For your convenience since you have better things to do like kissing moms eat cookies and drink milk, I made a simple list of what I want:-

1. More posts by the contributors (once a day not enough!)
2. More contributors (hopefully, representing the other clubs as well.)
3. Better template (have a look here)
4. More Futsal Kickabouts (maybe we can be part of Rakan Muda!)
5. More Drinkalots (maybe we can get sponsors!)
6. 200 crates of Green Fanta (with great popularity comes great stupidity)
7. A date with Miss Karma (that sexy thang!)
8. Charlie Webster to do an on-screen booty dance every time Sheffield United scores.
9. More traffic! More references! Total Internet Domination! Mwahuahahahahah!
10. Manchester United to win the league. :-)

Thanks. Have a good one dude!

Yours deadly,

Ghostball (a.k.a. Hantubola's mascot). :-)

=================================================

To the rest of you who are going to enjoy the holidays while I am sadly working,...again..... I would like to wish you all.....

MERRY CHRISTMAS, SELAMAT HARI RAYA HAJI AND HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I don't see the point of cancelling the match

It's just a bit of a fog.

Not like Whinger ever sees anything anyway.

Referees and linesmen are no better either. Never see anything important.

Bleh.

2006 HantuBola TV Awards

Since it's the end of the year and all that, it's a good time to pay tribute to the things which we remember best about footy this year. Of course, since I don't want to pre-empt the real awards at the end of this season, this round only looks at awards for what we have seen on television.

Let's cut to the chase.

2006 Quote of the Year:

This award goes to the most memorable quote as seen on TV; whether the quote comes from a poondeque, player, manager or any other football person. There are plenty to choose from in this category, from Shebby's weekly outbursts to Fergie's "Ronaldo is not a diver", but in the end there can only be one winner.

The winner is... Thierry Henry with this single-breath gem, just before Arsenal vs Tottenham:

"YesitistruethatIhadwalkedoutoftrainingthismorningbutIfeel
IcanplayandIamjustupsetatnotbeingabletoplayformyteam...
Errr...IdonotknowhythepapersaretalkingaboutitbutIfeelIcanplay,
thereisnosuchquarrelduringtrainingthismorningbutIwalkedout
becauseIamjustupsetatnotbeingabletoplayagainstourrivals.
Tottenham."

Talking at breakneck speed like that might explain how Thierry got the neck injury some weeks back.

2006 TV Gimmick of the Year:

This award was originally intended for the best advert shown during football telecasts, one that makes people actually sit through the commercial breaks. It was only after we had created this award that I realised the fooking i-Gallop ads are going to win hands down.

Hence, in typical DICtatorial fashion, we have changed the award specs to any TV gimmick that has created an increase in viewership during football telecasts.

The award goes to... the corporate drone at ESPN-Star who hired Charlie Webster and Jamie Yeo.

Thanks very much, mate. Now you just have to replace fooking Jien with a real chick. And bring Collette Wong back to Football Crazy.

2006 Best Moment in Football:

This award goes to the bestest and most memorable televised football image in 2006.

The winner can only be Zinedine Zidane's headbutt at the World Cup final. Kapow!

2006 Poondeque of the Year:

This award is self-explanatory, really. It goes to our most favouritest football poondeque, and you get to have a say in who wins this one. The nominees are:

1. John Dykes
2. The punjabi formerly known as Serbegeth
3. Stevie Mekmun
4. Paul "Tee Hee" Masefield

Plonk in your votes, and we'll announce the results on Boxing Day.

*mwahahahahahahahaha*

You fooking beauty.

And it seems that Michael Essien's best position is rightback. Really.

[Photo flicked from BBC Sport]

An Overdose of Curbs

This post serves no real purpose beyond trying to annoy Men.United fans with seemingly endless images of Alan Curbishley.

Kthxbai.




Shebby Quote of the week:

- Eggert (Magnusson) still can't scratch his head because he has no hair.

Jameson PWNs Djimi and Gibert

Haiyah. 3-0 only. Sien. Wanted another 4-0.

Oh well, still an away win. And it was all thanks to this man:



Me thinks Djimi sometimes still thinks he's playing for Liverpool.

Oh, and Arsenal match? Coming down from 2 goals down thanks to this man?


(pix of king kong Gilberto taken from Soccernet)


To tell the truth, we stayed for that match, but nobody cared much about it. We were a lot more entertained by this esteemed gentleman:

Bring on Barca!

....

oh SCREW.

...

Champions League Last 16

• Barcelona v Liverpool
• Celtic v AC Milan
• FC Porto v Chelsea
• Roma v Lyon
• PSV Eindhoven v Arsenal
• Real Madrid v Bayern Munich
• Lille v Manchester United
• Internazionale v Valencia

Oh well. Bring 'em on, I say.

Hantu Bola Wins Again!

It's official. Hantu Bola rocks.

Why do we rock?

Because we won a Suanie Blog Award for the second year running, that's why!

Last year we won this:




THIS year, since we're no longer 'fresh', we got THIS prize instead:




Special Achievement Blog Award goes to… HANTU BOLA!!!!!
Honestly I don’t know what you guys have achieved, but whatever it is (define your own achievements here) it must be great!


So yeah, we rock.


Now to go invent some special achievements...


PS: oh yeah, and Suanie rocks as well. :D

HANTU BOLA DRINKALOT

Yes, it's our first Hantu Bola Drinkalot since... FOREVER!

We're gonna be at Souled Out, Desa Sri Hartamas on Saturday, 7:30pm onwards, to watch.... whatever game is on at the time.

Yeah, it's just an excuse to drink a lot. As if that wasn't clear enough already. Tigerjoe's gonna be there. I'm gonna be there. Vincent is gonna be there. Jameson is gonna be there. Green Fanta can be bought from the 7-11 across the street.

See ya there!

Chelski Has To Win Tonight

Chelski is playing The Toon tonight. I reckon nobody's going to give a rat's ass about this match as the result is a given. But, I just want to rant. Pffbbrrrtt!

That bitch, miss k, has been really cruel to us. Just take a look.

1. Shay Given
2. Steve Harper Hurt (Hernia)
3. Tim Krul
4. Scott Parker Hurt (Back)
5. Craig Moore Hurt (Knee)
6. Steven Carr Hurt (Knee)
7. Damien Duff Hurt (Cartilage)
8. Belozoglu Emre Hurt (Ankle)
9. Peter Ramage
10. Oba Martins
11. James Milner
12. Titus Bramble Hurt (Calf)
13. Shola Ameobi Hurt (Hip)
14. Celestine Babayaro Hurt (Groin)
15. Nicky Butt Hurt (Virus)
16. Nobby Solano Hurt (Groin)
17. Charles N’Zogbia
18. Steven Taylor
19. Antoine Sibierski Hurt (Hamstring)
20. Kieron Dyer Hurt (Thigh)
21. Michael Owen Hurt (Heart - Misses Lily too much)
22. Albert Luque

Well, looks like we're going to face the Moanrinho's team with our youth team, as Roeder predicted.

If Chelsea doesn't win tonight, Chelsea deserves to lose the Premiership.

One last thing: Frack you, miss k... Frack. You.

(I've got a lot of angst today, must be PMMS - Pre-Mismatch Match Syndrome)

No Bloody Way

Fergie: We're neutrals' choice to win Premiership.

I wonder wot that old git's been smoking lately.

There is no club more hated on earth than Men United aka Manure aka Manchester United States aka Leprechaun's Plaything aka Red Fuckers.

Mahai, just seeing Fergit and that bloody jersey makes my blood boil.

Essien Discovers His Long-Lost Twin Brother

And so did Neville, apparently...



Tevez gets a HALF-brother...

*clap, clap*

If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands *clap, clap*

Chelski 1 - 1 The Arses

If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands *clap, clap*






If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it...








If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. *clap, clap*








Tough luck Gooners.

Probably the best Scouser in the World

Strikers? Who needs Strikers?

We've got Jamie Carragher!







Yeah, it's just another 4-0. So?

Club for Sale

Lets face it.

Football as we know it is going the way of the American version with its “franchises” and billionaire owners. With the inevitability of Al-Liverpool and the reality of Chelski, ManUSA, West Hamsson and Randy Villa, I wonder if it is only a matter of time before the Arsenal heads that direction.

If ever Mr G14 David Dein decides to sell out, here is a list of possible suitors that may well be interested in our club: -

1. Ingvar Kamprad ($28 billion) - IKEA
Possible club nickname = Ärsenalsson
Possible scenarios = Seats at the Emirates to be replaced with plush, Swedish cushions and pillows.

2. Kebawah Duli Yang Maha Mulia Paduka Seri Baginda Sultan Haji Hassanal Bolkiah Al-Mu'izzaddin Waddaulah ibni Almarhum Sultan Omar Ali Saifuddien Sa'adul Khairi Waddien ($20 billion) – Sultan of Brunei
Possible club nickname = Arsenal Darrussalam
Possible scenarios = The roof of the Emirates to be plated with gold. The club to go bankrupt in 2 years due to extravagant spending. (Note: This is in no way "menderhaka" to the Sultan, right? I heard their ISA is worst than ours)

3. Steve Jobs ($4.4 billion) – Apple Inc
Possible club nickname = Arsepod
Possible scenarios = Apple played the bridesmaid to that other multi-billion dollar corporation who stole their technology for years. Arsenal to play bridesmaid to that other multi-Russian dollar club who stole their player. (Note – The way things are going, we can count ourselves lucky if we’re even bridesmaids!).

4. Ananda Krishnan ($3.5 billion) – Astro/Maxis
Possible club nickname = Astronal
Possible scenarios = The end of Astro’s and ESPN’s love affair with Liverpool!!

5. Thaksin Shinawatra ($1.2 billion) – Shin Corp / Jobless
Possible club nickname = …. Help me out with this!
Possible scenarios = The board to be toppled in a coup led by Thierry Henry.

6. Bill Gates ($53.26 billion) - Microsoft
Possible club nickname = MS Arsenal v5.0 (if the team is still running around with kids, it will be MS Arsenal Beta)
Possible scenarios = $53..? $53 billion? WORLD DOMINATION!!!

Jamie's Boobs and Chelski's Boo-Boo

I was watching Jamie Yeo's boo... er.. I mean Football Crazy just now. I guess having her around does pay off for ESPN after all. Guys spend more time staring at her boobs, long enough for them to get to the interesting stuff like this picture:



Notice anything wrong with the picture?

Well, apparently all the Russian Rubles in the world can't buy you kit-makers who can get your player's names right....



What I REALLY wanna know is whether Claude Makelele didn't notice that his name was spelled wrong, or he actually doesn't know how his own name is spelled...

Greg Louganis Would Be Proud

(An Original Hantu Bola Montage, using pictures that were Googled, and taken from Ronaldo-is.com, and Guardian Unlimited football gallery)

Al-Liverpool

Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe.

LOL.

Can you imagine that? Al-Liverpool? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

I can already imagine a new memo issued to the poor sods in Al-Liverpool now.

====ASSALAMUALAIKUM====
=====Al-Liverpool Memo =====

Dear brothers,

It gives me so much pleasure (more pleasure than getting another wife) to announce that you have been purchased by Dubai International Capital (DICK). There will be a few changes to introduce harmony at Al-Anfield.

1. NO MORE CARLSBERG ON KITS
We decided to promote ourselves to a wider base, especially to our new homeland of Dubai, and since we are thinking of getting more women to watch the matches with their husbands, we are pleased to name Triumph as our new shirt sponsor. Comes with complementary sports lingeries for you and your spouses.

2. COVERING OF 'AURAT'
We must project a good image for our new home country. Wearing of full-length tights in all matches and training sessions is now mandatory.

3. SHOWER CUBICLES
We will be converting the shower room in Al-Anfield to multi showering cubicles, so as to provide privacy when you shower after a game. Since most other stadiums still use communal showers, you are hence prohibited to shower after an away game, unless they also have showering cubicles. (Tip: Please pack body spray)

4. GOAL CELEBRATIONS
Please practice some restraint after you score a goal. There is no need to jump around like a monkey then have your teammates jump on you. You might get injured and that costs $$$. Just close your eyes, hold out your hands, palms face up, and do a quiet prayer.

5. AFTER GAME DRINKING SESSIONS
Cancelled with immediate effect.

6. FUTURE PLANS
If we ever consider to focus on Dubai, there will surely be no problems for Al-Liverpool to play in the UAE League. After all, every one of us can use a change of scenery.

7. GAY TENDENCIES
From now onwards, the players are stricly advised against swapping (leopard print) G Strings and taking part in mass waxing sessions.

8. AL-ANFIELD STADIUM RULES
We will install big huge fences in the terraces to create separate sections for male and female spectators. Male and female fans will not be allowed to sit together because it is 'harraaaaaam'.

9. NEW CORPORATE BRANDING EXORCISE
Club colours will be changed from the present all red to the national colours of the UAE - red, green, white and black. The 'liverbird' will also be changed to the Arabian falcon in line with the re-branding exorcise.

10. PLEASANT THEME SONG
The club anthem will be changed to a tune that it more to the taste of DICK .

11. FORGIVABLE SINS
Stealing of hubcaps is only considered 'halal' if you perform your prayers before and after.

Thank you for your time. Enjoy your time playing sucker soccer for AL-Liverpool.

You'll Never Wank Alone.

Regards,
Abedul-Dehved Moh-res,
Man-Chair,
Al-Liverpool Soccer Club

:-)

UPDATE: 10.30pm: Some 'additions' in the comments box are so damn good, I added them. :-)

No Wonder Roo Forgave Him...

Wait for it.....





Wait for it................





Wait for it...............................





Its coming.............................................

Lily, you owe me one...

p/s: 1) Pics were flogged from some FWD mail. 2)I don't know if this was previously done. If it was, I'm sorry... But its good to refresh your memory every now and then, innit?

When Life Sucks...

You know sometimes you feel that life just plainly sucks?


Your boss hates you.


Your favourite team keeps getting mugged by anti-footie teams.


The torrential rain keeps you stuck in traffic jams everyday.


Broadband is so freaking slow.


Your neighbour’s kids screams incessantly.


Moronic drivers tailgate you at 150km/h on the LDP like it’s the Silverstone track.


And you got an ulcer.


Just when you’ve hit rock bottom…
.
.
.
.
.
.

WE GO AND BLOODY SLAY THE SCUM!!!



GOONERS 3 – HOTSCUM 0

Warning to all the other teams' defence lines

I am still skeptical of this, but hey, looking at the number of strikers currently available in our squad, I'd welcome anybody to join us on loan. Even if it is Shevchenko. :)

So for the first 3 months of 2007, my beloved Manchester United will have this person giving defenders in the league a very hard time.

Old man Larsson will definately bring quality and class to the pitch, not that we don't have that already. But I am confident this short-term cover will bring us that long-term result we long crave.

I can't wait. Thanks Fergie.

p.s. Pic from Football365. I was surprised too.