December 08, 2006

Club for Sale

Lets face it.

Football as we know it is going the way of the American version with its “franchises” and billionaire owners. With the inevitability of Al-Liverpool and the reality of Chelski, ManUSA, West Hamsson and Randy Villa, I wonder if it is only a matter of time before the Arsenal heads that direction.

If ever Mr G14 David Dein decides to sell out, here is a list of possible suitors that may well be interested in our club: -

1. Ingvar Kamprad ($28 billion) - IKEA
Possible club nickname = Ärsenalsson
Possible scenarios = Seats at the Emirates to be replaced with plush, Swedish cushions and pillows.

2. Kebawah Duli Yang Maha Mulia Paduka Seri Baginda Sultan Haji Hassanal Bolkiah Al-Mu'izzaddin Waddaulah ibni Almarhum Sultan Omar Ali Saifuddien Sa'adul Khairi Waddien ($20 billion) – Sultan of Brunei
Possible club nickname = Arsenal Darrussalam
Possible scenarios = The roof of the Emirates to be plated with gold. The club to go bankrupt in 2 years due to extravagant spending. (Note: This is in no way "menderhaka" to the Sultan, right? I heard their ISA is worst than ours)

3. Steve Jobs ($4.4 billion) – Apple Inc
Possible club nickname = Arsepod
Possible scenarios = Apple played the bridesmaid to that other multi-billion dollar corporation who stole their technology for years. Arsenal to play bridesmaid to that other multi-Russian dollar club who stole their player. (Note – The way things are going, we can count ourselves lucky if we’re even bridesmaids!).

4. Ananda Krishnan ($3.5 billion) – Astro/Maxis
Possible club nickname = Astronal
Possible scenarios = The end of Astro’s and ESPN’s love affair with Liverpool!!

5. Thaksin Shinawatra ($1.2 billion) – Shin Corp / Jobless
Possible club nickname = …. Help me out with this!
Possible scenarios = The board to be toppled in a coup led by Thierry Henry.

6. Bill Gates ($53.26 billion) - Microsoft
Possible club nickname = MS Arsenal v5.0 (if the team is still running around with kids, it will be MS Arsenal Beta)
Possible scenarios = $53..? $53 billion? WORLD DOMINATION!!!

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