Club for Sale

Lets face it.

Football as we know it is going the way of the American version with its “franchises” and billionaire owners. With the inevitability of Al-Liverpool and the reality of Chelski, ManUSA, West Hamsson and Randy Villa, I wonder if it is only a matter of time before the Arsenal heads that direction.

If ever Mr G14 David Dein decides to sell out, here is a list of possible suitors that may well be interested in our club: -

1. Ingvar Kamprad ($28 billion) - IKEA
Possible club nickname = Ärsenalsson
Possible scenarios = Seats at the Emirates to be replaced with plush, Swedish cushions and pillows.

2. Kebawah Duli Yang Maha Mulia Paduka Seri Baginda Sultan Haji Hassanal Bolkiah Al-Mu'izzaddin Waddaulah ibni Almarhum Sultan Omar Ali Saifuddien Sa'adul Khairi Waddien ($20 billion) – Sultan of Brunei
Possible club nickname = Arsenal Darrussalam
Possible scenarios = The roof of the Emirates to be plated with gold. The club to go bankrupt in 2 years due to extravagant spending. (Note: This is in no way "menderhaka" to the Sultan, right? I heard their ISA is worst than ours)

3. Steve Jobs ($4.4 billion) – Apple Inc
Possible club nickname = Arsepod
Possible scenarios = Apple played the bridesmaid to that other multi-billion dollar corporation who stole their technology for years. Arsenal to play bridesmaid to that other multi-Russian dollar club who stole their player. (Note – The way things are going, we can count ourselves lucky if we’re even bridesmaids!).

4. Ananda Krishnan ($3.5 billion) – Astro/Maxis
Possible club nickname = Astronal
Possible scenarios = The end of Astro’s and ESPN’s love affair with Liverpool!!

5. Thaksin Shinawatra ($1.2 billion) – Shin Corp / Jobless
Possible club nickname = …. Help me out with this!
Possible scenarios = The board to be toppled in a coup led by Thierry Henry.

6. Bill Gates ($53.26 billion) - Microsoft
Possible club nickname = MS Arsenal v5.0 (if the team is still running around with kids, it will be MS Arsenal Beta)
Possible scenarios = $53..? $53 billion? WORLD DOMINATION!!!