an advertisement

Today I am going to point out an item from a "proper newspaper", i.e. Financial Times UK. More specifically, the classifieds section:

Crystal Palace Football Club For Sale

United Kingdom

Financials
Asking price: Undisclosed
Sales revenue: Undisclosed
Net profit: Undisclosed
Fixtures value: Undisclosed
Stock value: Undisclosed

Business description
Football Club For Sale
On instructions of the Joint Administrators, B Guilfoyle, C White and J Russell:
Crystal Palace F.C . (2000) Limited
The sale of football club and its associated assets presents an opportunity to acquire a long established South London club (founded 1905) currently playing in the Championship division of the Football League and currently enjoying success in the FA Cup (next match against Aston Villa in the fifth round). more

Any takers? How about you, Dato' Tony? Heheh...

And so it has happened...

Michael Owen converts to the right club

Please share with us if you are a:

a. pissed ManYoo fan

b. pissed Liverpoo fan

c. shocked football fan

d. I-don't-give-a-damn-fan

REFEREE BODOH

LINESMAN KAYU!!

BODOH BAHLUL!!

Never mind la we win 3-0. Chelsea sucks ass so bad it wasn't even funny. Micheal Ballocks and Obi Wan Kenobi played off the pitch by Darren FLETCHER!! DARREN FLETCHER!!!



But sohai linesman! This would have been the moment of the season by far!! PWNEDDDD TOTAL OWNAGE MAN! For the Scouse scum, here's a lesson in creativity you might need to learn..



Ronaldo's BACK!

Old man Giggs is BACK!

Rafa SENILE!

top 10 quotes of the year

Because the other big sites have not released their version and I cannot rip it off them, I have taken the liberty of compiling my own list based on our HantuBola posts this year and to my best recollection...

10
"Everyone deserves a second chance. If this club allowed a player that spat in the face of an opponent to coach the team, then why not give Adriano another chance to play?" - We start with Jose Mourinho's classes on How to Lose Friends & Alienate People as he takes a pot shot at former Inter assistant and current Bologna manager Sinisa Mihajlovic who, while playing for Lazio in 2003 was suspended for 8 games for spitting at Chelsea's Adrian Mutu.

9
"I love my pink boots. I've wanted to play in that colour ever since I was young." - Nicklas Bendtner confuses football with bad fashion statement in a travesty rivalling Liverpool's white Armani suits


8
"I will never stay to live in England, that's for sure. You get only a brief glimpse of sunlight before it's all cloudy again. The winters are mild, but in summer the temperatures seldom go higher than 20 degrees. And it rains, rains, rains. In England, they say that Manchester is the city of rain. Its main attraction is considered to be the timetable at the railway station, where trains leave for other, less rainy cities" - Nemanja Vidic gives good travel advice to the readers of the Russian Football Weekly. He would go on deny that he ever said those nasty things. Obviously.


7
"No Steve, if Rafa leaves out Torres, he is not shooting himself in the foot. He is shooting himself in the head." - everybody's favourite pundit Shebby Singh arguing with Steve 'baldie' McMahon on Rafa's team selections for the Inter Milan game.


6
"I am not a big city man, I need my retreat - that is why I am often in Germany. Stuttgart is my second home, my friends are there and it is where I feel most comfortable," - Alex Hleb tells the world why he wants out of North London but conveniently forgets that Stuttgart is the 3rd largest city region in Germany - before going on to say, "There is a lot of speculation about me, and I will not be making statements on this and stirring it up further." Oops. Too late.


5
"Which one is Simon Bird (from The Daily Mirror)?"
"Me."
"You're a cunt." - Joe 'fuckin' Kinnear (JFK) starts his press conference/monologue which must surely hold some sort of record for 52 swear words in 3 minutes.


4
"Well, that's Sepp Blatter. 50 ideas a day, 51 of them bad." - our hero Shebby is on fire this year, talking about Sepp Blatter's idea of dealing with dangerous tackles by banning them for life and pressing charges against them.


3
"For the money Chelsea have paid for Anelka and the amount he earns in wages - believed to be almost £90,000 per week - they would have been within their rights to send him on as Coco the Clown and expect him to take a penalty." - Columnist for The Observer, Paul Wilson on Le Sulk whining about not being prepared to take THE losing penalty.


2
"We know that Arsene Wenger likes the look of Arshavin. But I like the look of Angelina Jolie and it doesn't always mean you get what you want." - Andrei Arshavin's agent, Dennis Lachter shares with the class his intimate fantasies.


1
"Do you think it's a lack of respect when for three months, a coach studies Italian four or five hours per day so when he arrives for the first time in a new country he can speak with fans and journalists in their language? After five years in England, Ranieri still had trouble saying 'good afternoon' and 'good morning.' - Jose Mourinho after he was criticized for 'lack of respect' by the media for letting his assistant Giuseppe Baresi attend a post match press conference in his place. Best quote of the year by far.

Heh.

Liverpool fans all over the place must be quite relieved that their team avoided defeat against a team that looked like Brazil. They almost scored one against the pretend Samba Boys, too.

Heheh.

Awards Time!

Yes, it is time for the Hantubola Yend of Season Avards for 2007/08. Enjoy.

The Alexi Lalas Award for Worst Hairstyle: My personal favourite would be Bacary Sagna, but I honestly found David James' "fake superman" side-parting back in October truly disturbing. I'm not sure why.

The Juan Veron Award for Biggest Waste of Money: YOU may want Florent Malouda (£13.5 million) to win this, and he probably deserves it, but I would just like to point out that Totty Hotshit paid £16 million for Darren Bent.

The Winston Bogarde Bench Warming Award: I want to say that Andriy Shevchenko's goal-line clearance against ManYoo pretty much saves him from getting this award. He also scored 8 goals in all competitions when he did play. Besides, Jari Litmanen didn't even clock a single minute for Fulham. LOL

The Michael Owen Prize: This award is given to the player who moves to another club in the same season that his former club makes it to the Champions League final. This season, we have two winners - Arjen Robben and Gabriel Heinze. Make sure you play nice and share, now. *Mwahahahahahah*

The "I'm The Man" Trophy: Named after Steven Gerrard and his 60-metre backpass / opponent goal assist calamities, this award is handed to the player who single-handedly decides the result of a match. This season's winner? John Arne Riise, whose diving header not just decided one match, but the away goal pretty much screwed up his team over a two-legged semi-final.

Finally, last but not least, lest we forget...

Cipet-Face of the Year Award

No? You disagree, you say? Too bad, so sad, Hantubola is not a democratic republic!

*Mwahahahahahahahahahah*

Shebby's quotes of the week

When talking about who Rafa will start with in Liverpool's game against Inter:

No, Steve. If Rafa leaves out Torres, he's not shooting himself in the foot. He's shooting himself in the head.

When talking about Sepp Blatter's idea of dealing with dangerous tackles by banning footballers for life and pressing charges against them:

Well, that's Sepp Blatter. 50 ideas a day, 51 of them bad.

Ladies and gentlemen, please give a big round of applause for Malaysia's best pundit, by far.

Seriously.

today's media quote

From today's Fiver:

There was a time not so long ago when Liverpool's fans told anyone who'd listen that "you can't buy [insert number between one and 117] years of tradition". Now they're waiting anxiously for it to go up for sale.

One may not be able to buy the title, but one can certainly buy history, eh? For a cut price of less than £250 million. And sell it on for a profit one year later. LOL

Doing a Shebby

You can bookmark this post. I'm going to do a Shebby and make a prediction:

In three years' time, Al-Liferbul Footybola Club will be playing all their home matches at the RBS Arena.

That's it. That's my prediction. Of course, the spanking new RBS Arena might still end up being named Maktoum Stadium. Or DIC Superdome.

"This is RBS Arena"

Isn't it so much fun doing a Shebby? Of course, I wouldn't want to actually do Shebby. Bugger damned hairy.

dey

What this is? Jamie Yeo on the cover of FHM Singapore? And what are THOSE doing there?

What do you reckon - KFC diet, a bit of nip/tuck or Adobe Photoshop CS?

All over the news!

Something you never thought you would see on Hantu Bola...

Or FOOTBALL365, for that matter!!!

shebby-time!

The draw for the first knock-out round of the Champions League got done earlier this evening.

some cipet-face pulling balls out of a bowl

I'm going to keep this post really short, and just do a Shebby by predicting the aggregate results. LOL

Celtic 2 - 1 Barcelona (Home win in Glasgow, draw at Nou Camp)
Lyon 1 - 3 ManYoo (Home wins in both legs)
Schalke 04 0 - 1 FC Porto (a bore draw and a home win in the return leg)
Liverpool 0 - 2 inter Milan (1-0 to Inter in both legs)
Roma 2 - 3 Real Madrid (Robben gets the penalty that wins the tie at Bernabeu LOL)
Arsenal 0 - 6 AC Milan (3-0, 3-0, Karma gonna getchew Gunners!)
Fenerbahce 1 - 4 Sevilla (The Turks get a goal in Istanbul, but are well short)

and last but certainly not least...

Olympiakos 0 - 8 Chelsea

*mwahahahahahahahahahahahah*

surprise!!

Who would have thought, eh? This was a bloody awesome week for football with a few good twists and turns along the way...

Surprising events over the weekend:


1) Derby score an away goal

Consider the fact that they have not scored an away goal in the League since 2002, and Manyoo have only conceeded one goal at Old Trafford all season, letting Derby score a goal should count as a failure for the Manyoo defence who have been the best in the league thus far.


2) Arsenal lose!

Actually, the surprising fact wasn't that the Arsenal wheels have come off (where's pretty boy Fab, eh?). The awesome thing is that they lost to Middlesbrough who was inspired by an Arsenal reject, Jeremy Ali-a-a-air. Better still was that all the talk of them being the new 'Invincibles' after just 20 odd games unbeaten was shoved in their faces by a team that hadn't won in 13 games.


3) Shevchenko has a good game

I like saving the best for last. This ranks as the mother of all surprises! Sheva actually remembered how to play football again. But don't worry, you won't need to be surprised for long because he is bound to be crap again next week.

football stories of the week

My sugar daddy is better than your sugar daddy!

Reds row escalates as owners hit back at Rafa

What's this? Hyuk hyuk! Karma, people...KARMA!

To think that Malcolm Glazer's takeover of Manyoo raised so many eyebrows and had the whole world laughing at Manyoo waiting for their collapse. Given the problems Abramovic gave Mourinho and the problems Rafael is facing...

Hehehehe...my sugar daddy rawks!

---

The real reason why England lost

The singer of the national anthems fucked up before the game. Read about it here.

Croatia rose to the occasion in their crucial Euro 2008 defeat of England - after an apparent X-rated gaffe by an English opera singer at Wembley.

Tony Henry belted out a version of the Croat anthem before the 80,000 crowd, but made a blunder at the end.

He should have sung 'Mila kuda si planina' (which roughly means 'You know my dear how we love your mountains').

But he instead sang 'Mila kura si planina' which can be interpreted as 'My dear, my penis is a mountain'.

...

"The Croatians think it's great, and they've invited him to come over and sing at Euro 2008, and asked if he will be their mascot."

---

Please do our country a favour tomorrow at 8 pm. Please get behind (not in a dirty way of course) the one Malaysian who knows his football.

Watch Football Focus with John Dykes at 8 pm Tuesday night on ESPN where we can see The Shebster mock Steve 'the baldie' McMahon over England's defeat. Don't miss this rare opportunity to watch Shabby say, "I-told-you-so-you-fat-baldie, haha!"

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

WHEEEE!!

there's something about avram

Never mind that the only opposition manager I actually liked has gone..

Never that Peter Kenyon now has a big pie in his face, to add to the pie that IS his face...

Never mind that the Mighty Champions Manchester "Best Team in the Land" United won again...


There was something that kept bugging me about that Avram Grant bloke since I first saw his face on TV the other day. Never mind that nobody knew who the fuck he was. Never mind that everybody knew that he would be rubbish and is never going to be the one to replace the Special One. Never mind that he called himself "normal" and so the British press (and when I mean the British press, I mean the tabloids) are now calling him The Normal One.

There was just something about Avram........

And I couldn't quite place it until just now when I was going through my DVD collection and chanced upon The Godfather box set that it hit me:



That's right! But unlike Luca Brasi in the movie, this one looks dumb and thick. I would have paid good money to have watched Jose's post match interview after all the "dodgy" refereeing decisions. But Avram was just........boring.

Still, if the movie is any indication of how things are going to end up, we would have some fun soon.

Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes..

*footnote: If you have never ever watched The Godfather, please poke yourself in the eye. Kthxbai.