September 30, 2007

JT Meets Karma

LONDON: Chelsea continued their march towards to the Coca Cola League Championship yesterday by successfully drawing 0-0 against the mighty Fulham FC. In their relentless march towards world domination, Hantu Bola News (HBN) learnt that Peter Kenyon plans to win the remaining prizes in English football that they have not managed to get their mangy paws on.

Chelski's captain John Terry, was also introduced to a lovely lady Ms. Karma yesterday as he now faces a spell out after getting his cheekbone broken. Earlier this week, the spineless FA refused to ban him even though he tried to steal the referee's red card in last week's game against ManUSA. HBN learnt from an undisclosed source that JT had met the lovely lady a lot in recent weeks after he claimed earlier in the season that ManUSA, then 5 points behind Chelsea, would 'find it hard' to claw their way back into title contention. So hard that it took all of 3 weeks to do.

However, HBN is stuck in a dilemma as we cannot decide if that was funnier than Drogba getting sent off just after coming back from an injury, or that Ukrainian superstar Andriy "can't score against Jerzy Dudek from one yard out" Shevchenko was boo-ed throughout the game.

In other news, the children of the used-to-be-non-issues, Arsenal FC somehow managed to defy logic and win again, beating West Ham United 1-0. Chief kid Fabregas earlier said that he was very scared when a particular French maestro was playing there. A quick poll conducted by HBN found that the fans of the other BIG CLUBS didn't mind if Arsenal won the league this season if their club couldn't win it. All except for one anomaly being the respected football pundit Mr Serbegeth Singh. However, he supports Totenham Hotspurs who aren't a big club - so his opinion in this matter does not count.

Elsewhere, the glorious club of Steven Gerrard FC with a long and distinguised history (which HBN notes can be bought for a predetermined number of greenbacks) has proven HBN Co-editor Vincent correct by the purchase of a certain Spanish quaterback. Despite beating Wigan 0-1, El Torres had a crappy game, missing 3 excellent chances, showing the Scousers that scoring against Derby County and Reading FC does not prove you a great striker. Coincidentally, waltzing past Tal Ben-Hur against Chelsea is nothing to shout about. Steven Gerrard FC needed to be rescued late in the game by a Yogi Bear subsititute which HBN grudgingly acknowledges was a pretty okay goal. Perhaps El Torres needs lessons from Yogi Bear.

Lastly, champions of England, ManUSA fresh from their defeat in the Mickey Mouse Cup dropped all their members of the Mickey Mouse Club and started with real men in the league to beat Birmingham City 0-1 Of particular note in this admittedly boring game would be collective IQ of the chaps sitting in St. Andrews Stadium. After having publicly announced that being boo-ed makes him play better, the thick-in-the-head midlanders gave Christiano Ronaldo a wake up call to his dreadful start to the game by starting to boo him midway through the first half. A source that refused to be name told HBN that the earlier mentioned lovely Ms. Karma took a break off from JT and visited them later in the evening.

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