February 19, 2008

Liverpoo Unveils New Mascot

Liverpool: Liverpool Stealers Soccer Team have taken the next step forward in a major rebranding exercise in the hope of transforming the soccer club from a pub team into a world force. Coming just hours after their more illustrious rivals Manchester United introduced their new mascot, Liverpoo have followed suit.

Plague by years of stereotype about Liverpool being home to jobless hub-cap stealers and supporters living on dole, the last two seasons have been crucial in their efforts to appear more family oriented and entertain the masses by injecting more of the famous Scouse humour.

The first phase was successfully carried out by hiring new personnel and changing the image of others. The exercise started with the hiring of a defender whose name sounds like part of a nipple and continued last summer with their manager growing a goatee, after sitting on the grass in a zen-like pose during a match. If their objective was to entertain and humour everybody else, it certainly worked, and with even greater effect theses days as we see more of their English vice-captain speaking in a funny language that nobody seems to understand.

This evening, with the unveiling of the new mascot, Liverpool have launched the second phase of their rebranding exercise in which they intend to steal (oh, the irony!) the 'Comedy Club' status from Newcastle United.

Introducing, BORAT, the new mascot for Liverpool Stealers Comedy Soccer Club:

Club officials have refused to disclose the details of the 3rd phase of their comedy rebranding exercise, although HBBN's inside scoop was made to believe that the plan included finishing 6th in the league this year.

Liverpool's Zen master and Jamiethescousewhocantspeakenglishcarragher could not be reached for comments.

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