LIVERPOOL: Nicolas Anelka showed why Liverpool should hire him back as a defender when he cleared a shot by himself into the side-netting midway through Bolton's 4-0 defeat at Anfield.
Bolton striker Nicolas Anelka had the open goal at his mercy after Liverpool keeper Pepet Reina decided to give Jamie "Broken Ribs" Carragher a friendly hug midway through the game, but Liverpool defender Anelka managed to force the Bolton striker Anelka to shoot into the side-netting, endearing him to the Anfield crowd.
At the other end, Liverpool striker Sami "Fastpoke" Hyypia managed to show that he is actually faster than Liverpool defender Sami "Slowpoke" Hyypia by scoring the first goal in the game. Fernando "9-goals-more-than-Malouda" Torres scored the second goal later to set two liverpool fans dreaming of free bottles of whiskeys. Gerrard and Babel added two more goals in the end to set EPL fans wondering how the fuck Men.United lost to this lot.
In other news, John Terry and Luis Boa Morte suck each other's thumbs.