Bugs Bunny voted 2005 European Player of the Year

Bring 52 journalists together to vote for the 2005 Ballon D'Or winner, and who do they pick? Bugs F#@*ing Bunny. Fine, so it's not exactly the Warner Bros icon, but Ronaldinho. Yes, Ronaldinho has been voted as the 2005 European Player of the Year, garnering 225 points to win by 77 points ahead of the player who finished second in the standings. I'm so very sore about this though. Why, you ask?

Because Frank Lampard lost out! How can lah dey?! Apparently the Toothy One has scored 33 goals in 79 matches for his club; but hey, Frank The Man (yes, Stevie, not you phbbbt!) has bagged 61 goals in 238 matches, including a run of 160 consecutive league appearances. There is no comparison really; and I reckon, in my honest opinion, that the reason Frank Lampard lost out was because Steven Gerrard was in the 2005 shortlist.

You heard me right, it's all the fault of Steven "One-Inch Forehead" Gerrard. I would really like to have been present during the voting process, just to remind the dozier journalists that the Ballon D'Or is an award for player of the year, not player of one match at the end of last season. Has anyone else heard the urban legend circulating among our womenfolk that the breadth of a man's forehead corresponds to the length of his penus?

I guess the only consolation from last night's fiasco is that five Chelsea players were voted as part of the top 20 players in Europe for 2005. Plus it's a hoot to see Samuel "Motor Mouth" Eto'o only managing to tie with John Terry in joint 10th place. Still can't beat our captain, eh?

Toodles

[photo of Golden Teeth kissing Golden Ball credited to Frank Fife / AFP]