October 20, 2008
ESBN: I Hereby Dub Thee Headless Scissors Kuyt.
ALL OVER INGERLUND: A Headless Chicken With No Goals suddenly became a scissors-kick goal-scoring machine on Saturday, when Dirk KautKuitKiutwhatever scored two more goals at Anfield, as Liverpool gave more of their fans heart attacks by coming back from 2-1 down to win 3-2 against Wigan.
Wigan had taken the lead thanks to Daniel Agger doing a Titus Bramble, and then later on again through Amr Rizal Zaki's second of the match, but then Valencia got sent off for not liking part of a wall, and not liking Xabi Alonso much either. Then Riera and Dirk Kuyt's scissors kick happened. BUAHAHAHA.
The next day, Tokkokham Hotsoup took another step towards consolidating their place in next year's Championship title race by losing to one of last year's Championship front-runners Stove City. Their manager, Juanseason Ramos is now worried that he is gonna be sacked Juande. Probably soon.
Also in Championship related-news, mighty Hull City beat Zolalalala's Wet Ham team to keep the pressure on the top two. And in other news, here at ESBN, no one cares what Men.United and Chelski are doing, so sod off.