aww, too bad

I wanted to call time out and wave the peace flag.

Really.

And I wanted to laugh at Chelsea for losing to Titfuck Bramble.

Really.

But those fellas at The Star had other ideas. They released a breaking news story which no responsible football blog could let slip. Especially when a good number of the readers are Liverpoo fans.

You know how those miserable little Scousers were always complaining that Liverpoo cannot come to Malaysia because of the haram logo on their jerseys? Well, I don't really know how far that is true laa...because in Shah Alam there is this big big factory where they produce all that stuff anyway.

So anyway, those little Scousers were all so excited that that company was no longer going to sponsor Liverpoo and just when they thought that their favourite thieves could come to town, the dreaded Malaysian censorship board went and potong steam.

'Bruno' banned in Malaysia

KUALA LUMPUR: Malaysians will not get to watch Bruno on the big screen as the National Film Censorship Board has decided to give the controversial movie the axe. ...

Kantoi lah like that!

If Bruno cannot come of course the whole team cannot come lah! How can the star striker (albeit gay and girlish) not follow the team?

But please, fellow Malaysians...please don't take it out on the Censorship Board. It is not their fault.

Bruno really WILL corrupt the minds of our young ones.

They will turn gay. And effeminate.

They will wear ridiculously short pants and pose in feminine positions.



They will start kissing other boys in public. And after that, they will start humping other boys in public. Or allow themselves to be humped in public.



And you people still worship Bruno?!?!

HOW CAN!!?!?

Bitch Week on HB continues

Sol Campbell quits Notts County after just ONE game!!! oneoneone111111satusatusatu!!!

Men.United. Loving each other forever and ever.

SEKS LUAR TABII

BAPA MITHALI

tersebut lah kisah...

The pissing match from the comments box below is really too awesome not to make into a real post!



Alex Ferguson sememangnya seorang datuk yang penyayang, yang pernah beberapa kali membawa cucunya menyaksikan Liverpool bermain bola.

"Inilah cara profesional bermain bola, cucuku."

"Inilah cara profesional bermain bola, cucuku....Faham, dik?" beliau bertanya kepada cucu kesayangannya. Cucunya mengangguk kepalanya. Dah bosan dengar Si Orang Tua asyik meleteh. "Ini kau kena faham betul-betul tau...jangan keliru, sebab pasukan yang satu lagi, yang pakai baju merah dengan logo HARAM tu...dia orang tu perompak dari casta bawahan"

"Ya, Atuk," cucunya menjawab. "Atuk dah banyak kali cakap dah. Yang budak tu pernah curi hubcap kereta. Yang seorang lagi tu, pernah curi penutup jamban...entah kenapa pun..."

"Pandai budak"

Dah cucunya bercakap pula dalam hati:
"Baik jadi lelaki tulin yang mencuri hubcab dari menjadi diva yang suka dive sesuka hati dan kuat menangis dan pakai bunga belakang telinga dan bawak tas tangan."

Dia kemudian terjaga dari mimpi ngerinya.

"Phew. Itu musim bola tahun lepas. Sekarang No 7 dah tak bapok."

Dan terfikir pulak, "Hmm..nasib baik Pasukan Atuk tu dah jual Si Bapuk. Pasukan Perompak tu ada seorang yang sifat keperempuanan, wajah seiras-iras dengan wartawan dari Austria, Bruno...mungkin dah liwat dengan pencuri jamban tu"

---

Just as the Kop can no longer sing about their 18 titles, Scousers can no longer taunt us about bapuks - for two reasons: Ronaldo is now gone, and because their star striker is also a bapuk. Closet bapuk, that is....

But fear not, because HBBN proudly exposes "Lelaki Tulen"...



And we even have pictorial evidence, painstakingly gathered from Liverpoo's recent game against West Ham...








Is SHE trying to kiss him? On the lips? On national TV?!? Oh, my...

noisy neighbour

"Sometimes you have a noisy neighbour. You cannot do anything about that. They will always be noisy. You just have to get on with your life, put your television on and turn it up a bit louder." - Sir Alex Ferguson

Bincangkan kata-kata yang diluahkan oleh Datuk Alex Ferguson selepas kemenangan yang penting malam tadi.

Nuclear Strike Warning

We interrupt this site's regular programming to bring you a special message.

Picture creatively acquired from somewhere

Yeah so I saw what Adabayar did to the Arse brigade during the highlights show. Frankly, I didn't like what he did y'know.

I swear if the bloody KNNCCB Tevez does the same thing to us in the next game, I'm gonna bloody hell get someone to nuke his bloody house. Or maybe I'll just spam his e-mail, whichever works better.

Wenger In The Stands

(Click the image for a larger version)

(Credit to JEEVS for giving us the Anderson quote!)

ESBN Weekend Roundup: Men.United's New Strategy

(picture taken from Football365)

ESBN is proud to present a weekend roundup of results that we already know about anyway.

Bolton fans found out the hard way that the more you boo Stevie G, the more likely he is to score against you. The match was noted for a post-Edivedo knee jerk reaction where after dispossessing Torres with a brilliant tackle which floored Torres in the penalty box, Za-zat Knight perasan and went over to heckle Torres for diving, even though Torres himself didn't even bother asking for a penalty. Perasan betul, Zat ini.

Over in Menchesthair United, just when we thought he had failed to come up with a proper replacement for Christina Doi Doi, Al Fergit has come up with another fail-proof strategy to win matches - Get the other team to give you goals instead.

Men.United couldn't score a single proper goal the entire match, as the Gooners went on rampage in Old Traffart, scoring one brilliant goal through Andey Assshavin, giving away one brilliant penalty, and then losing the game with one brilliantly headed own goal.

Will.I.Am "I WAS CAPTAIN" Glass even managed to take his No. 10 shirt number seriously enough to stray offside at the last minute to deny his own player an equalising goal. And after that, Arse Wanker was sent off for stealing the show by kicking a bottle straighter than Darren "Hey you, in Row Q!" Fletcher could kick a ball.

Update on Yesterday's Match Of The Day

Arse Arsh scored first.
Ammonia gifted Man Yoo's first goal.
Diaby added a cherry on top with a comical own goal.
Wenger didn't know where to go after kicking the can bottle.

Two other meaningless teams managed to win too in matches no one else cared about.

UEFA Family Day Telematch Groupings

"Ok kids, please make 8 rows, 4 kids in a row... NO TALKING!!!"

Looks like all 4 English teams got relatively easy groupings. Who the heck is Debreceni?

Group A:
Bayern Munich
Juventus
Bordeaux
Maccabi Haifa

Group B:
Men.United
CSKA Moscow
Besiktas
VfL Wolfsburg

Group C:
AC Milan
Real Madrid
Marseille
FC Zurich

Group D:
Chelski
FC Porto
Atletico Madrid
APOEL

Group E:
Liverpool
Lyon
Fiorentina
Debreceni

Group F:
Barcelona
Inter "I'm too special for my team" Milan
Dynamo Kiev
FC Rubin Kazan (probably named after the Afghanistan president)

Group G:
FC Sevilla
Rangers
VfB Stuttgart
Unirea Urziceni (isn't that a urinary tract disease?)

Group H:
Arsenal
AZ Alkmaar
Olympiakos
Standard Liege

Cibai #2

WTF.
Mahcauhai.
At Anfield samore.
CIBAI Lucas.
Kenot puji a bit also wan.
Puji a bit, own goal pulak.
Face it Rafa,
Lucas ain't no Alonso.
CIBAI.

ESBN: Liverpool's Faith In Owen Pays Off

SOMEWHERE IN INGERLAND: Liverpool's greatest and arguably most dastardly transfer this year, Michael Owen, paid dividends last night when he helped Burnley to a 1-0 win over Men.United.

In the game last night, Owen did his part for Liverpool's cause by being completely invisible to everyone. He never put a foot wrong throughout the game (in fact, he hardly put a foot anywhere near the ball at all), and even managed to 'accidentally' drift offside AND miss a clear header during the game.

And to top it all off, Owen even managed to dupe Carrick into believing that Fergit had been referring to HIM when he said, "Michael, you're taking the penalties this game".

The biggest disappointment was that Owen never got the chance to finish the game, as he was taken off at the 63rd minute by a perplexed Fergit who thought he'd signed the next Henrik Larsson.

In other news, Stoke City didn't manage to throw the ball into the net at Anfield, though Liverpool did manage to knock it into the goal four times, as opposed to none in the last season.

Season 2009-10 Cibai #1

Fuck. We really miss Xabi.
Babel is useless.
Voronin is useless.
C'mon Rafa splurge the cash ONE LAST TIME.
GET DAVID SILVA.
kthxbai.

Mabok Bola Festival

This year, Hantu Bola will be celebrating opening weekend of the new season on BOTH days!

Venue: The Chippy @ Changkat Bukit Bintang, KL

Saturday, 15 August 2009:
1st kick-off 19:45 - Chelsea vs Hull
Late kick-off 00:15 - Everton vs North London Sports School

Sunday, 16 August 2009:
1st kick-off 20:30 - Power Rangers Mystic Force vs Birmingham
Late kick-off - Shebby's fave team vs Spanish Scousers

This is the only football viewing party that lasts for two days! We are more keng than that pretend jazz thing in the jungle! LOL

Rest in peace, Sir Bobby

Pikcher curi-ed from nufcblog.com

A legend has passed. Here's a tribute to Sir Bobby, hantubola style.

Alan Shearer has done very well for us, considering his age. We have introduced some movement into his game because he has got two good legs now. Last season he played with one leg.

If you count your chickens before they've hatched, they won't lay an egg.

They've never really allowed the Germans have a free head. (Lils - :p)

Newcastle have always had a poor pitch in winter. We don't have the better weather. My lawn up here isn't as good as my lawn in Ipswich.

Football's like a big market place, and people go to the market every day to buy their vegetables. (Christina is a bloody expensive turnip)

Gary Speed has never played better, never looked fitter, never been older.

Home advantage gives you an advantage.

In a year's time, he's a year older.

We're flying on Concorde. That'll shorten the distance. That's self-explanatory.


So long Sir Bobby. You will be missed and thank you for the memories.