Yo Newcastle Fans...

Which of the following is more depressing?


(Sorry Anttyk, just could not resist it. heh heh)





A) That your club got relegated:



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B) That your club is worth less than the sum of these two gay jocks....





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C) Or that you're switching from THIS chairman:



to having THIS PP Land guy on your board of directors?

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Footnote by Vincent:

And to add to the Comedy Club tagline:

ESBN: Poor Ferrari.

TEROWONG TAK-SMART MANCHESTER: Men.United speedster Christina Doi Doi became part of another sort of statistic recently when he thumped a free k... er.. Ferrari into the wall of a tunnel near the Manchester airport.

The player was reportedly unhurt, but uncredible witnesses claim that the first thing that they saw him do right after the crash was to check the mirror to see if he was still beautiful. The mirror lied, as usual.

Reports that immedietely after the accident happened, three tow trucks, several Mat Rempits, and a mob of 4D-hunting kepoh Malaysian drivers appeared on the scene were unfounded. Malaysian police's highest authority were later seen discussing whether to request for a higher PR budget so they can include Doi Doi's face on their PR campaign for this Chinese New Year's Ops Sikap.

Mere hours after the accident, messages of sympathy came pouring in for the Doi Doi on Football365's Mailbox:

"Here's another chance for Ronaldo...ooh it's gone straight into the wall."

"...Just wondering when the cops showed up at the scene of the crash, was Ronaldo rolling around on the ground clutching his leg? "

Rumours that Lewis Hamilton was later seen driving sniggering past Ronaldo as the Doi Doi was walking home from training that day were unfounded.

ESBN: Ultraman Kembali Lagi!

MANCHESTER: In a game that no one else is interested in besides people in Manchester and kids drinking green fanta, the Manchester derby was won by the Men.United team, despite having Doi Doi Ronaldo sent off for trying to Ultraman the ball into the goal.

Reports that Man City keeper Joe Hart-to-beat-from-the-halfway-line later tried to destroy downtown Tokyo in a rubber monster suit was unfounded at press time.

In other news, Invinsible Ruski footy team Chelski lost their er... TWO-game unbeaten EPL streak to the Arsenal No-One-Between 23-30 team on Sunday, as Robbing Van Persie robbed Chelski of all the points with a wonderful offside goal.

Over in the other part of London, Lotsofham Hotsoup went down to an Everton team who are so poor that Piennar had to share jerseys with Leon Osman. And another london club, Fulofham continued their quest to become the first team to survive relegation without scoring or letting in a single goal throughout the season.

ESBN: Christy Ronaldo Remakes Britney Spears Hit!

SOMEWHERE IN INGERLUND: Adolf's favorite player Christina Ronaldoidoi took a stab at pop stardom today, as he announced today that he will be releasing a single soon - a remake of Britney Spears classic pop song entitled "I'm A Slave 4 MU'.

Recorded with a distinctive Spanish flavour to it, the single is likely to be well-received all over England, except one tiny spot on the map called Old Trafficlight. It is also likely to be a big hit in Spain, especially in Madrid.

Doi Doi was inspired to release the single after KFIFAC head honcho Special Platter singled him out as a slave to the American Major Premier League Soccer team. Abraham Lincoln could not be reached for comment at this time.

Rumours that a poor man's Michael Jackson named Nani will sing backup vocals on the single were also unfounded at press time.

It must really suck to be them right now.

I may as well follow GILLINGHAM now...

This was too funny NOT to post...



I especially liked how there was only three people left in the room when he asked all the Arsenal, Chelsea, and Scouse fans to leave. hahahahaha.