April 07, 2008

Alfonso Alaves Conquers Malacca! er.... Men.United!

INGERLUND: Alfonso Alavesquerque finally conquered Malacca... sorry, his goal drought, and discovered that he plays better in snowshoes as Men.United lost to Midtableboro despite drawing 2-2 at full time.

The Men.United had gone ahead with Doi Doi Christina's goal at first, but Alfonso hit back with two great goals to sink the Malaccan fleet. Unfortunately, A'Famosa was bombed when Granny Lover Roo scored a deflected goal that would have made Fat Lampar proud. Midtableboro could have scored a few more but Alfonso's strike partner Jay AliAliYeah! showed why the Arse kicked him out of their team.

In FA Cup news, The Arsenal Retirement Home led by Sol "Not Naomi" Campbell and Nankong Kanuneh beat West Broom 1-0 thanks to a comedy goal that Titties Bramble would be proud of; while after beating Chelsea and Liverpool on their way to the semis, Barnsley finally met their match in the might of the All-Star Veteran Premiership Retirement Home of Wales, in a match that was only memorable for a great goal and the prospect of hot Hassel-on-Hasselbaink action that eventually failed to materialise.

This means that the FA Cup final will be contested by two teams that no one but the most avid Robbie Fowler fan would be interested in.

In other news, Round 2 of the Arse vs Kop three-game-series ended in YET another 1-1 draw. We'll see you at Anfield, bitches.

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