October 09, 2007

women's football

Today I'm going to be an armchair football poondeque, and talk about women's football. Or rather, pay an underhanded compliment to the sport.

Football is traditionally a man's game. It's sweaty, dirty and occasionally you even lose a tooth or break bones. I get women's football - it is after all the 21st century and whatever a man can do, a woman can certainly have a go at.

Besides, one does not need to have a penis to play football, just a pair of boots (and shinpads, if you insist). Keepers these days also need gloves apparently, although in my day the only extra equipment a keeper would use would be some shoe polish rubbed into the palms to improve grip on really wet days. That's a story for another day though.

Getting back to point, sure, I get women's football. There is no doubting the physical ability of a woman when she puts her mind to something, and women certainly deserve their own football leagues and tournaments. If you think about it, it makes perfect sense. There's no way a man would compete with a woman in a physical contest - there's no glory in victory and defeat gurantees a lifetime of shame down at the pub.

Of course, if one were to do a Sepp Blatter and suggest that the womenfolk play football in ultra-tight hot pants and cropped jerseys, that would be a different ball game altogether. In fact, it ignores the fact that a suggestion to organise five-a-side beach football competitions for women would be a much smarter and more acceptable alternative to achieving the same outcome that the old pervert Blatter may have had in mind. No?

So yeah, well done to the organisers of the Women's World Cup and everyone involved in women's football. Let's get together and organise a beach football tournament next year - we can even have separate categories for men, women and ah kuas. Heheh.

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