November 25, 2009

How to shut the gob of irritating Manure fans, once and for all

1. Give them gay boyz a Glasgow Grin. There are two ways to do this:
a. Cut off one inch of each side of the lips than kick his crotch. When he screams, his face will split.
b. Cut either side of the lips until ear-lobes, so the scar (if he lives) would look as if he's smiling all the time.

2. Tie them to a tree, naked. Give them nicks all over the body with a knife. Dump them into bathtub filled with hot water and salt.

3. Put him and a bear into a gunny (sp) sack.Tie the sack. Throw the sack into the ocean while they're still alive. Let them kill each other.

On second thoughts, that's cruelty to animals. So let's put two Manures in there.

4. Get them into a bath. Put on Red Nose's hairdryer on and drop it into the bath

5. Send them to an abandoned warehouse where the welcoming committee consists of Riise, Pennant, Carragher, Robbie Fowler, Sktel, Voronin - all bearing a crowbar and a cricket bat or two.

6. Lock them in either MO's or SAF's stable and get the horses to bugger them. Then again, being Manures, they'd probably enjoy it.

7. Tie them upside down in an abandoned warehouse and let them listen to Mariah Carey, Michael Bolton and Celine Dion non-stop.

8. Take them to a graveyard. Get them to dig a grave and toss them in alive.

9. Send them to an Amway seminar.Or Asia Works.

10. Put them in a cell with Cristina Ronaldo and David Beckham. The first's endless whining and sissy fits combined with the latter's weedy voice would cause slow, torturous death.

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