September 23, 2008

Be a millionaire overnight

Due to the sudden death of my Father General Abacha the former head of state of Nigeria in June 1998, I have been thrown into a state of hopelessness by the present administration.

I have lost confidence with anybody within my country.

I am now looking to buy a football club to fill my time and to get out of the country and into the English tabloids.

After careful research, I have come to the conclusion that Newcastle United is the best club to buy. Their captain is still scoring despite playing for Newcastle.

However, my government does not allow Nigerians to invest outside the country.

As such, I would need your help to get my money out of Nigeria.

I got your contacts through personal research, and had to reach you through this medium. I will give you more details when you reply.

Due to security network placed on my daily affairs I cant visit the embassy so that is why I have contacted you.

My Father deposited £350 million with a security firm whose name is witheld for now till we communicate.

I will be happy if you can receive this funds and keep it safe. I assure you 20% of this fund.

Please help me help Newcastle.

I promise I will bring Kevin Keegan back and treat him with the respect a former Liverpool hero deserves. Naturally, I will maintain another former Liverpool hero, Michael Owen as the captain.

I will need your telephone/mobile numbers so that we can commence communication. I also require a one-time only fee of 350 quid as a sign of intent. This is necessary since I'm sure many people would be interested in helping me and I only want to deal with those who are serious about this.

Yours truly,
Mustaffa 'Magpie' Maallam

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