February 10, 2009
ESBN: Sco Long, And Thanks For All the Points!
SOME BRIDGE IN LONDON IS FALLING DOWN: Russian footy club Chelski have given up on their dream to win the FIFA World Cup after they sacked World-Cup-Winning manager Luis Phillipa Sorrylar after seven months at Stamford Bridge.
In a statement by the club, some skank named Chelsea said "The board would like to place on record our gratitude for his time as manager."
Eyeris would also like to place on record his gratitude for the generosity Scolari showed Liverpool in gifting them a win at the expense of Chelski's LOOOOOOONG unbeaten home record, a feat that counts as one of the Brazilian's greatest achievements at the club. Other achievements include selling his best left back and the player whom the club's stadium is named after to Manchester Next-Chelsea, and buying a lazy midfielder solely for Decorative purposes.
Rumours that Harry Redknapp was eyeing the vacancy at Stamford Bridge because "If I would leave Spurs for any other club, it would be Chelski", were unfounded at press time.