December 23, 2009

Hasbullah Awang's twitter quotes. Apparently.

1. Oh, Zizie Izette juga turun memberikan sokongan kepada Sabah. Saya tidak nampak lagi kelibat Bung Mukhtar.

Oh rio ferdinand!!! rio ferdinand!! rio ferdinand menjaringkan gol untuk england....

Ahh..apa saja yang dilakukan oleh Rozita Che Wan...sampai turun ke padang memberi sokongan!

Beliau berbadan kecil, namun besar gaya permainannya.. oh terjelepuk beliau disitu..

5. N
ampaknya pengadil melayangkan kad merah! oh bukan...nampaknya ada pemain yang tercicir kad pengenalan

Ohh!? beliau bagaikan mahu menghantar bola ke tempat kelahirannya di Tamparuli,Sabah!!" (menyepak bola ke penonoton)

7. S
epakan percuma yang sungguh cantik, tidak perlu dibayar dengan wang ringgit

8. P
ara pemain sedang meningkatkan suhu permainan.. " (body heat?)

9. S
epakan percuma diberikan di situ......oh, sepakan penjuru barangkali"

10. ""A
kmal rizal mengelecek, dan makanan kesukaannya adalah nasik lemak buatan emaknya"

11. Beliau merupakan pemain import yang berbakat, dan beliau juga amat meminati Siti Nurhaliza

GOALLLLLLL!!!! Malaysia menjaringkan goal!!!!!! GOALLLLLLL! Oh tidak, bola memasuki jaring ke belakang.

13. O
h smash tajam, CANTEEKK.. tapi sayang jatuh di jaring.....

Abu, pemain Sarawak yang berasal dari Kelantan. Sudah lama saya tidak makan budu Kelantan. Mengidam pula.

Pemain yg berasal dari daerah keningau, daerah yg paling teruk dilanda ribut Greg

Pemain tinggi lampai, kacak rupanya.. sekiranya tidak bermain bola boleh menjadi pelakon filem...

December 17, 2009



SEA Games: Malaysia beats Vietnam 1-0 in final

Malaysia finally ended its 20-year gold drought in the SEA Games men’s football competition, when it defeated Vietnam 1-0 in the final played at the Main Stadium of the National Sports Complex in Vientiane on Thursday. - The Star


What a second half that was!!!We should have been three goals up if not for some shoddy finishing and one shot cleared off the line.

Wah tension only the last five minutes, especially when that Vietnamese player JUST missed equalizing from a lovely floated cross right over the Malaysian defenders.

FINALLY something to be proud of. Good to see me wearing the Harimau jersey on Tuesday didn't jinx the team after all...


December 15, 2009

Eat You Heart Out, Becks

As seen on that weekday footie show (what's it called? The one with Jamie Yeo?). Selamba only Figueroa take the free kick.

Goal of the week.

December 14, 2009

Forget those bloody English clubs... MALAYSIA MASUK FINAL!!!!!

Never mind Liverpoolmanyoochelskiasrsenal.


After famously beating Thailand 2-1 last week, we managed to beat Laos 3-1 in the semis to enter the final tonight!

We'll be meeting Vietnam though, who beat us 3-1 in the group stages. Still, at least the national team has FINALLY given us something to cheer about!

PS: On another note, our female footballers were thrashed 14-0 by Thailand, 8-0 by Vietnam, 5-0 by Laos, and 7-1 by Myanmar. Hey, at least our girls managed to score ONE goal....

PSS: Who wanna bet if we LOSE the final (which I hope they won't, touch wood), people will STILL be criticising them for bottling it?

CIBAI #whogivesafuckanymore

Aquilani has beady eyes.
Rafa, next time make like Arsene and SCREAM at your players can?
Why do I even bother watching football anymore?

December 09, 2009

Weirdest Headline of the Day

Yeah, the Cruise is indeed a Tom Cruise.

Yeah well Wenger does have a thing for short dudes in his squad, it seems.... now I wonder what kind of advise he would seek from his pal Becks....

December 05, 2009

World War 2010

Group A
South Africa - powered by Charlize Theron's smile
Mexico - powered by burritos
Uruguay - powered coz they won the first one
France - powered by Thierry Henry's hand

Group B
Argentina - powered by Tevez's continual bitching
Nigeria - powered by flying super eagles
South Korea - powered by Park-Ji Sung's third lung
Greece - powered by The Gods

Group C
England - powered by David Beckham's latest haircut
USA - powered by the same people who brought you Liverpool Soccer Club
Algeria - powered by the Tropic of Cancer
Slovenia - powered by a lot of Alps

Group D
Germany - powered by Oktoberfest
Australia - powered by useless people like Mark Viduka
Serbia - powered by superb people like Nemanja Vidic
Ghana - powered by Bintang Hitam

Group E
Netherlands - powered by horse placentas
Denmark - powered by Eyeris Learns To Rock
Japan - powered by VVTI, NEO-VVL, i-VTEC, MIVEC, Wankel-rotary......
Cameroon - powered by crazy-flexibile-bodies during throw-ins

Group F
Italy - powered by headbutts
Paraguay - powered by a person named Santa
New Zealand - overpowered by their rugby mates
Slovakia - powered by lots of roads

Group G
Brazil - powered by samba
North Korea - powered by Kim Yong-il nuclear toys
Ivory Coast - powered by Drogba's multi talented acting career
Portugal - powered by Cristiano "80 Mil Best Buy" Ronaldo

Group H
Spain - powered by breastfeeding Torres
Switzerland - powered by Swiss Bank Accounts
Honduras - powered by their political crisis
Chile - not powered by their horses's placentas

December 03, 2009

Calls for Bruno Torres To Be Charged

LIVERPOOL: Liverpool star striker Fernando "Bruno" Torres is courting controversy yet again! A couple of years after The Sun pictured him trying to breast-feed his baby daughter, Bruno's parental skills are once again called into question as he tries to teach her Scouse language.

Speaking to the Liverpool official website, Bruno bemused the world by claiming, "For me, Anfield is the best place in England. I hope to be here for a long time and if my daughter speaks English and Scouse, I will be proud."

Rumours that he has been paying Jamie Carragher to conduct tuition classes for her have been circulating since the news broke. This news has upset parents' groups throughout the country who are demanding that the Spaniard be charged with child abuse and neglect.

"This is ridiculous!" raged angry mother, Katie Price, "all around England we are trying to teach children to speak the Queen's English
and these foreigners are setting a bad example!" When pointed out that Jamie Carragher was indeed English, Ms. Price stormed away in disbelief.

Just 2 years ago, the effeminate Bruno was caught trying to breast-feed his daughter near the Liverpool docks. His then team mate Xabi Alonso had to tell him that no matter how much they enjoyed playing the role in bed at night, he really couldn't breastfeed. Back then, parents' groups were in disbelief at his stupidity, as they sure are now.

Mr. Alonso has since moved on to bigger things, but at of press time, a replacement has not been found...

Update by the editor:

HBBN has just been informed that Bruno Torres' daughter was born this summer. HBBN would like to categorically state that it has never claimed to be the oracle of truth, unlike a certain local online news portals. HBBN hopes and trusts that you do not take us to be the oracle of truth either.

December 01, 2009

Old Trafford Maid

Now we know how Grandpa Giggsy wins Red Whisky Nose's heart until the tender age of 36.

Dirty Old Git

November 26, 2009

November 25, 2009

How to shut the gob of irritating Manure fans, once and for all

1. Give them gay boyz a Glasgow Grin. There are two ways to do this:
a. Cut off one inch of each side of the lips than kick his crotch. When he screams, his face will split.
b. Cut either side of the lips until ear-lobes, so the scar (if he lives) would look as if he's smiling all the time.

2. Tie them to a tree, naked. Give them nicks all over the body with a knife. Dump them into bathtub filled with hot water and salt.

3. Put him and a bear into a gunny (sp) sack.Tie the sack. Throw the sack into the ocean while they're still alive. Let them kill each other.

On second thoughts, that's cruelty to animals. So let's put two Manures in there.

4. Get them into a bath. Put on Red Nose's hairdryer on and drop it into the bath

5. Send them to an abandoned warehouse where the welcoming committee consists of Riise, Pennant, Carragher, Robbie Fowler, Sktel, Voronin - all bearing a crowbar and a cricket bat or two.

6. Lock them in either MO's or SAF's stable and get the horses to bugger them. Then again, being Manures, they'd probably enjoy it.

7. Tie them upside down in an abandoned warehouse and let them listen to Mariah Carey, Michael Bolton and Celine Dion non-stop.

8. Take them to a graveyard. Get them to dig a grave and toss them in alive.

9. Send them to an Amway seminar.Or Asia Works.

10. Put them in a cell with Cristina Ronaldo and David Beckham. The first's endless whining and sissy fits combined with the latter's weedy voice would cause slow, torturous death.

November 22, 2009

happy chappies

See Michael Essien.
See Michael Essien smile.
See Michael Essien smile with Florent Malouda.
See Michael Essien smile with Florent Malouda as they jog behind Joe Cole.

See the fellows who look after business while Lampard, Ballack, Deco and Drogba are on MC.

Now let's give a big round of applause to Sunderland. Not only did they beat Arsenal this weekend, they are also level on points with Liverpool.

Now let's point and laugh at Liverpool. Heheheh.

November 10, 2009

Oit! Liverpool Fans!

This man owns the team you almost lost to tonight. That was no penalty. Memang the referee kayu.

The Liberace of Hong Kong.
Mat Bulu.


November 04, 2009

LFC Recruitment Drive

Calling Eyeris (the real one, not the one not allowed to enter the country), Sicko, Shasi, Tenacious T, Spiller, Nine Inches, Anttyk, Crash, Dan, Syahid, Sunil, Shook, Jenal, Jolie, Bex and all LFC fans.

Ask not what Gerrard, Torres, Johnson, Skrtel, Agger, Aurelio, Ngog, El Zahar, Riera, Kelly, Aqualani can do for you.

Ask not since they cannot.

They can't do any bleeding thing at the moment. Half of them sakit telor kena pijak by that anak gajah Voronin. The other half is down with flu.

The club needs us to be supersubs tonight.

I chop jersey no 98.

November 03, 2009

Sluts to take on Devils


CSKA Relishing Opportunity

Manchester: CSKA Moscow will tonight take on the Mighty Manchester United. They will be fired up after sacking former Spurs boss, One-Day Ramos. CSKA's new coach, LEO SLUTSKI will no doubt be raring to get his slutty claws into Sir Alex's brave warriors.

Ahead of the big game against Chelski this weekend, Manchester United will probably be hoping that SLUTSKI's team will be easy and will be looking to score big time. Of course, with no more pretty boys on the team SLUTSKI's team would probably be overawed by real men.

When questioned about his playing career that ended as a 19 year old, LEO SLUTSKI had this to say, "I got the injury at 19 when I was climbing a tree looking for a neighbour's pussy.

"I ended up as a hero in my village because I saved the pussy. Unfortunately, I also fell out of the tree and injured my knee. It was awful because I had hardly started my career."

We shall hope that there are no pussies around in the game tonight, although we are not so sure about our friends from Liverpool.

And the tradition continues...

Wayne Rooney

Graham and John Rooney - Why you shouldn't shag your sister.

Perfectly matching couple

Continuing the Rooney tradition of producing ugly sons, Wayne and his wife, Colleen, today celebrates the birth of their son Kai Wayne Rooney.


Apparently, Kai is chicken in Thai, which officially elevates Rooney to Bapak Ayam. (Courtesy of Tiggah and Jeeves from previous comment box)

Rumours that Colleen cried tears of joy that the baby is a boy, and not a girl who looks like Rooney has yet to be confirmed.

A jubilant Rooney expected his son to grow up to be a footballer too.

Kay Wayne Rooney, 20 years on.

On another note, now that Rooney already has an heir to carry the fugly tradition, he can go back to shagging menopausal women.

On yet another note, notice the press only stated Colleen's parents occupation? Does that mean Rooney's parents queue outside the dole office every Thursday while robbing post offices and gas meters in their spare time?

On yet yet another another note, have you noticed the Scouse-hating team not only has two Scousers up front, but two short Scousers at that too. At least one of them is not ugly. And that's why he played at Liverpool first.

November 01, 2009


You're surprised??!

You got away with another last-man rugby tackle last week just as Mickey was gonna score the equaliser. This isn't American football, you idiot.

CIBAI #834694


October 26, 2009


Congrats Vidic for your third red card against Liverpool.


October 24, 2009

pre match warm up

The year is 1993.

Manyoo had just won the league. We hadn't won the league in 26 years before that. The Kop had this to say when we went to Anfield:

We've won 18. We are now back.

Question is, when are you going to win your next one???

October 21, 2009

CIBAI #53254

WHAT THE FUCK are they doing??!!????
I think they used up all their luck last season.
Yay now we can forget about winning anything.
Any win now will be a bonus.
So we can watch football without any expectations.
Or go watch golf instead.

October 20, 2009

ESBN: Balls Balls Balls.

LIVERPOOL BEACH CLUB: The fallout of the infamous Beach Ball Goal continues, as the dumbass referee who thought the ball was Jamie Carragher was demoted to the Championship and universally ridiculed for making an error even a kampung referee wouldn't make.

In other made-up reports, with his star striker out of action for a couple more games, Rafa Benitez has become so desperate that he is looking to sign the beach ball that scored the winning goal against Liverpool at Sunderland last week. According to him, "Ball, Babel, what's the difference. Neither one does jackshitballs anyway."

However, Rafa faces stiff competition from Men.United manager Alex Fergit was looking to sign the beach ball for 20 million pounds to replace his striker with no balls, Dmitidak Berbola. Unfortunately, being the short-sighted git that he is, Fergit could not tell which ball it was that scored the goal, so he sent his legions of Men.United to go buy every single ball in the Liverpool shop instead.

In other unfounded reports, former Everton player Michael Ball was heard speaking proudly to reporters about his distant cousin, Beach, who scored the winning goal against Liverpool. "Us Balls have always been good at these things," he said, ignoring repeated questions about the time HE missed the ball when it bounced off a balloon, and allowed someone to score a goal against him.

October 19, 2009

Doing a Fergit

I apologise to Mr Rafa Benitez for any embarassment that my previous post may have caused and to the Rafa Benitez fan club for going public with my views.

It restrospect, I accept that this could be deemed as expressing those views in an inappropriate forum.

I'd wish it be noted that I've always respected Mr Benitez for LFC's 5th CL Cup and 2006 FA Cup. I didn't state that Mr Benitez is a bad manager, that he was in any way egoistical proportionate to the size of his gut, that he was in any way biased in regards to Mr Lucas and Mr Voronin, or that he has lost the plot.

My only intention in writing publicly was to highlight what I believe to be a serious and important issue, namely that the fitness levels of managers must match the ever-increasing demands of the modern game, which I hope will now be properly addressed through the appropriate formal channel.

In short, I apologise for implying that Mr Benitez is a fat git. I still think he is a fat git but I shouldn't have said it out loud.

October 18, 2009

Fark the Fat Git!

Why send Alonso away?
Why keep that useless Lucas?
Why keep the equally useless Voronin?
Why Lucas always start?????


My season's over.

I might as well give up footie and start watching AF or Sehati Sedansa. I reckon it's less torturous.

Fark you FAT GIT!!!

p/s: I see Anttyk very active over at Twitter. Post here lah haha
p/ss: wtf is a beach ball doing in England anyway????

September 28, 2009

aww, too bad

I wanted to call time out and wave the peace flag.


And I wanted to laugh at Chelsea for losing to Titfuck Bramble.


But those fellas at The Star had other ideas. They released a breaking news story which no responsible football blog could let slip. Especially when a good number of the readers are Liverpoo fans.

You know how those miserable little Scousers were always complaining that Liverpoo cannot come to Malaysia because of the haram logo on their jerseys? Well, I don't really know how far that is true laa...because in Shah Alam there is this big big factory where they produce all that stuff anyway.

So anyway, those little Scousers were all so excited that that company was no longer going to sponsor Liverpoo and just when they thought that their favourite thieves could come to town, the dreaded Malaysian censorship board went and potong steam.

'Bruno' banned in Malaysia

KUALA LUMPUR: Malaysians will not get to watch Bruno on the big screen as the National Film Censorship Board has decided to give the controversial movie the axe. ...

Kantoi lah like that!

If Bruno cannot come of course the whole team cannot come lah! How can the star striker (albeit gay and girlish) not follow the team?

But please, fellow Malaysians...please don't take it out on the Censorship Board. It is not their fault.

Bruno really WILL corrupt the minds of our young ones.

They will turn gay. And effeminate.

They will wear ridiculously short pants and pose in feminine positions.

They will start kissing other boys in public. And after that, they will start humping other boys in public. Or allow themselves to be humped in public.

And you people still worship Bruno?!?!

HOW CAN!!?!?

September 23, 2009

tersebut lah kisah...

The pissing match from the comments box below is really too awesome not to make into a real post!

Alex Ferguson sememangnya seorang datuk yang penyayang, yang pernah beberapa kali membawa cucunya menyaksikan Liverpool bermain bola.

"Inilah cara profesional bermain bola, cucuku."

"Inilah cara profesional bermain bola, cucuku....Faham, dik?" beliau bertanya kepada cucu kesayangannya. Cucunya mengangguk kepalanya. Dah bosan dengar Si Orang Tua asyik meleteh. "Ini kau kena faham betul-betul tau...jangan keliru, sebab pasukan yang satu lagi, yang pakai baju merah dengan logo HARAM tu...dia orang tu perompak dari casta bawahan"

"Ya, Atuk," cucunya menjawab. "Atuk dah banyak kali cakap dah. Yang budak tu pernah curi hubcap kereta. Yang seorang lagi tu, pernah curi penutup jamban...entah kenapa pun..."

"Pandai budak"

Dah cucunya bercakap pula dalam hati:
"Baik jadi lelaki tulin yang mencuri hubcab dari menjadi diva yang suka dive sesuka hati dan kuat menangis dan pakai bunga belakang telinga dan bawak tas tangan."

Dia kemudian terjaga dari mimpi ngerinya.

"Phew. Itu musim bola tahun lepas. Sekarang No 7 dah tak bapok."

Dan terfikir pulak, "Hmm..nasib baik Pasukan Atuk tu dah jual Si Bapuk. Pasukan Perompak tu ada seorang yang sifat keperempuanan, wajah seiras-iras dengan wartawan dari Austria, Bruno...mungkin dah liwat dengan pencuri jamban tu"

Just as the Kop can no longer sing about their 18 titles, Scousers can no longer taunt us about bapuks - for two reasons: Ronaldo is now gone, and because their star striker is also a bapuk. Closet bapuk, that is....

But fear not, because HBBN proudly exposes "Lelaki Tulen"...

And we even have pictorial evidence, painstakingly gathered from Liverpoo's recent game against West Ham...

Is SHE trying to kiss him? On the lips? On national TV?!? Oh, my...

September 21, 2009

noisy neighbour

"Sometimes you have a noisy neighbour. You cannot do anything about that. They will always be noisy. You just have to get on with your life, put your television on and turn it up a bit louder." - Sir Alex Ferguson

Bincangkan kata-kata yang diluahkan oleh Datuk Alex Ferguson selepas kemenangan yang penting malam tadi.

September 13, 2009

Nuclear Strike Warning

We interrupt this site's regular programming to bring you a special message.

Picture creatively acquired from somewhere

Yeah so I saw what Adabayar did to the Arse brigade during the highlights show. Frankly, I didn't like what he did y'know.

I swear if the bloody KNNCCB Tevez does the same thing to us in the next game, I'm gonna bloody hell get someone to nuke his bloody house. Or maybe I'll just spam his e-mail, whichever works better.

September 02, 2009

Wenger In The Stands

(Click the image for a larger version)

(Credit to JEEVS for giving us the Anderson quote!)

September 01, 2009

ESBN Weekend Roundup: Men.United's New Strategy

(picture taken from Football365)

ESBN is proud to present a weekend roundup of results that we already know about anyway.

Bolton fans found out the hard way that the more you boo Stevie G, the more likely he is to score against you. The match was noted for a post-Edivedo knee jerk reaction where after dispossessing Torres with a brilliant tackle which floored Torres in the penalty box, Za-zat Knight perasan and went over to heckle Torres for diving, even though Torres himself didn't even bother asking for a penalty. Perasan betul, Zat ini.

Over in Menchesthair United, just when we thought he had failed to come up with a proper replacement for Christina Doi Doi, Al Fergit has come up with another fail-proof strategy to win matches - Get the other team to give you goals instead.

Men.United couldn't score a single proper goal the entire match, as the Gooners went on rampage in Old Traffart, scoring one brilliant goal through Andey Assshavin, giving away one brilliant penalty, and then losing the game with one brilliantly headed own goal.

Will.I.Am "I WAS CAPTAIN" Glass even managed to take his No. 10 shirt number seriously enough to stray offside at the last minute to deny his own player an equalising goal. And after that, Arse Wanker was sent off for stealing the show by kicking a bottle straighter than Darren "Hey you, in Row Q!" Fletcher could kick a ball.

August 30, 2009

Update on Yesterday's Match Of The Day

Arse Arsh scored first.
Ammonia gifted Man Yoo's first goal.
Diaby added a cherry on top with a comical own goal.
Wenger didn't know where to go after kicking the can bottle.

Two other meaningless teams managed to win too in matches no one else cared about.

August 28, 2009

UEFA Family Day Telematch Groupings

"Ok kids, please make 8 rows, 4 kids in a row... NO TALKING!!!"

Looks like all 4 English teams got relatively easy groupings. Who the heck is Debreceni?

Group A:
Bayern Munich
Maccabi Haifa

Group B:
CSKA Moscow
VfL Wolfsburg

Group C:
AC Milan
Real Madrid
FC Zurich

Group D:
FC Porto
Atletico Madrid

Group E:

Group F:
Inter "I'm too special for my team" Milan
Dynamo Kiev
FC Rubin Kazan (probably named after the Afghanistan president)

Group G:
FC Sevilla
VfB Stuttgart
Unirea Urziceni (isn't that a urinary tract disease?)

Group H:
AZ Alkmaar
Standard Liege

August 25, 2009

Cibai #2

At Anfield samore.
CIBAI Lucas.
Kenot puji a bit also wan.
Puji a bit, own goal pulak.
Face it Rafa,
Lucas ain't no Alonso.

August 20, 2009

ESBN: Liverpool's Faith In Owen Pays Off

SOMEWHERE IN INGERLAND: Liverpool's greatest and arguably most dastardly transfer this year, Michael Owen, paid dividends last night when he helped Burnley to a 1-0 win over Men.United.

In the game last night, Owen did his part for Liverpool's cause by being completely invisible to everyone. He never put a foot wrong throughout the game (in fact, he hardly put a foot anywhere near the ball at all), and even managed to 'accidentally' drift offside AND miss a clear header during the game.

And to top it all off, Owen even managed to dupe Carrick into believing that Fergit had been referring to HIM when he said, "Michael, you're taking the penalties this game".

The biggest disappointment was that Owen never got the chance to finish the game, as he was taken off at the 63rd minute by a perplexed Fergit who thought he'd signed the next Henrik Larsson.

In other news, Stoke City didn't manage to throw the ball into the net at Anfield, though Liverpool did manage to knock it into the goal four times, as opposed to none in the last season.

August 17, 2009

Season 2009-10 Cibai #1

Fuck. We really miss Xabi.
Babel is useless.
Voronin is useless.
C'mon Rafa splurge the cash ONE LAST TIME.

August 11, 2009

Mabok Bola Festival

This year, Hantu Bola will be celebrating opening weekend of the new season on BOTH days!

Venue: The Chippy @ Changkat Bukit Bintang, KL

Saturday, 15 August 2009:
1st kick-off 19:45 - Chelsea vs Hull
Late kick-off 00:15 - Everton vs North London Sports School

Sunday, 16 August 2009:
1st kick-off 20:30 - Power Rangers Mystic Force vs Birmingham
Late kick-off - Shebby's fave team vs Spanish Scousers

This is the only football viewing party that lasts for two days! We are more keng than that pretend jazz thing in the jungle! LOL

August 01, 2009

Rest in peace, Sir Bobby

Pikcher curi-ed from

A legend has passed. Here's a tribute to Sir Bobby, hantubola style.

Alan Shearer has done very well for us, considering his age. We have introduced some movement into his game because he has got two good legs now. Last season he played with one leg.

If you count your chickens before they've hatched, they won't lay an egg.

They've never really allowed the Germans have a free head. (Lils - :p)

Newcastle have always had a poor pitch in winter. We don't have the better weather. My lawn up here isn't as good as my lawn in Ipswich.

Football's like a big market place, and people go to the market every day to buy their vegetables. (Christina is a bloody expensive turnip)

Gary Speed has never played better, never looked fitter, never been older.

Home advantage gives you an advantage.

In a year's time, he's a year older.

We're flying on Concorde. That'll shorten the distance. That's self-explanatory.

So long Sir Bobby. You will be missed and thank you for the memories.

July 29, 2009

Stalking in Singkapor

Steve Mekmun is good for something after all. I think PP Land organised a really good programme for the fans. Which compensates for the inconvenience and expense of having to travel to dreadful Singkapor.

Missed the Meet the Fans session. Think that was held on their first day in Sg with Mascherano and someone or other.( I’m a bit saddened that only Carra is left from the 2001 team that I went to see in Singapor )

But there were plenty of opportunities to stalk if you were ‘gigih’ like me and my friends.

You could hang around the hotel where they’re staying, especially in front of the lift. Click. Click. Click.

Or the lobby. Click. Click. Click.

You could find out their training schedule and wait by the bus. Click. Click. Click.

You could go to the LFC River Cruise and gawk and ogle all the players. Click.Click.Click.

Yes, there were plenty of opportunities if you were TALL, which sadly I’m not.

Although you have to be very lucky to be able to take pictures with the team. Thanks to the gazillions of bouncers aka guys wearing Profitable Protection tees (LOL). They were bigger than Din, Vincent, Naz, Mr Singh (not Shabby), Tigerjoe and Sicko : combined.

Here's another picture of the Hunky Manly Profitable Protectors
for the viewing pleasure of Men.United fans.

Funny moment:
We were hanging around the fourth floor hoping to catch the guys go for something or other when suddenly all the bouncers, I mean, Profitable Protectors, rushed down the lift. Of course, all the stalkers also went down the lift. Except me and my friend. We were having full English Tea (recommended by the way) and had to pay first before we can follow suit.

Just as we were approaching the lift, one of the bouncers, I mean, Profitable Protectors, stopped us. Hallelujah. I immediately reached for my camera. The door of the lift opens. Nary a player was in there. Only a folded wheelchair. Wtf?

Not so funny moment:
We were so excited to go to the match, we didn’t even think about how to go back after the game. There was a massive jam. No taxi in sight. So we walked and walked and walked for 45 freaking minutes. Farking Singakapor.

Good thing Vincent is not Singkaporean.
Honestly babe, it was worse over there. The MC was going ‘This is Anfield’ the whole time. Never mind the stadium is the standard of our Stadium Merdeka. Don’t know if you lot caught this on telly but they had some Clare Something sang Barbara Streisand’s version of YNWA to open the match! And this was not followed by the Singkapor National Anthem.

The immigration guy told us, ‘make sure LFC trash Singkapor’. The two concierges who remember me from the time I stayed there when I went over to meet Robbie (oh, how I love saying that. I think I’ll say it again, ....when I went over to meet Robbie), told me they were betting that LFC would trash Singkapor 6-0.

A word of advice to female fans
Do not expect a TALL male friend to bother taking pictures of Torres when he took off his jersey. Apparently, this sort of thing just do not occur to them.

The game
First half was freaking boring, we aimed our binoculars at the bench instead. Rafa is fat. Kuyt and Riera didn’t stop talking for the whole 45 minutes: yak, yak, yak. Alonso was yawning non-stop. Benayoun is a skinny git.

Conversation with Carra
(Caught him for all of 3 minutes before one of the bouncers, I mean, Profitable Protectors, shielded him)

Lily G: JAMIE!!!! Are you enjoying the Asian Tour?
Carra: isnithicn tiahoibien bphiesotmsonbn nbieston.

Sekian lapuran saya.

July 25, 2009

A True History of a Football Club. Well, sort of...

Once upon a time,
There were five gay men,
Who lived in Manchester.
They couldn't play rugby,
So they decided to play football instead.
They had so much fun playing together gether,
That they decided to start a club.
And that's how Manchester United was formed.
Otherwise known as Man United.
Or known in these HB parts as Men.United.
Sekian terima kasih.

What do you call a Scouser in a suit?


All the men in suit look like a scene from a Mafia movie, no?

Which jury would dare put the menacing Capo in jail?

Rafa: I dunno're like a son to me.. but you've let down a lot of Asian have...
Stevie: What? I didn't do anything boss.

July 22, 2009

Why Sven Went to Notts County

  1. He couldn't get a job anywhere else.
  2. They gave him an offer he could Nott refuse.
  3. He thought chicks in Notts County would be Notty.
  4. He wanted a 'big club' but unfortunately Newcastle were relegated.
  5. He read the offer wrongly and thought he'd be the national manager of Notts Country
  6. He bought PP Land there.
  7. He was promised his own personal harem of nubile virgins.

Eriksson confirmed as director of football at Notts County

Sven-Goran Eriksson has accepted the director of football role at League Two side Notts County