January 31, 2008

Cibai X Infinity

Macauhai. Bloody idiots. Lucky I didn't stay up to watch the game.
Our season really unravelled when Agger got injured. If Rafa gets the sack, his biggest failure in my opinion was not getting another centerback besides Hyypia to cover for Agger and Carragher.
Add that to the insistence on playing Kewell and Kuyt all the time, and having no one else except bloody Crouch for cover.
I'm gonna start watching tennis instead.


A little update:

Who wants to wager that Rafa will be sacked if Liverpool fail to whack Sunderland at Anfield tonight? I'm counting on Sunderland repeating their 0-0 a few years back - Jurgen Macho scored fantasy points for a clean sheet and 20 saves back then. LOL

karma siot

I was watching Chelsea claim their three points against Reading earlier tonight, when I thought I saw something interesting being flashed at the bottom of the TV screen. I had to read carefully as the latest scores ticker was in arabic, but eventually I managed to decipher the update:

Al Wis Ham 1 - 0 Al Liferbul

I wonder if the Liverpool fans remember this post. Anyways, here are some nice piccies for you.


Jangan marah har, kalau marah nanti kena jual. To DIC.


January 28, 2008


5th Round FA Cup draw

Bristol Rovers vs Southampton
Cardiff City vs Wolverhampton Wonderers
Sheffield United vs Middlesborough
Liverpool vs Barnsley
Manchester United vs Arsenal
Preston North End vs Portsmouth
Coventry City vs West Bromich Albion
Chelsea vs Hudersfield

LONDON: The 5th round FA Cup draw was made today. There besides Manchester United vs Arsenal, the other matches are not worth a mention because the draw was most definitely rigged.

The draw sees Manchester United play their 10th straight Premier League opponent in a cup that supposedly features random village teams like Havant and Waterlooville. Despite claims of biased reporting, HBBN in fact did some research (unlike other online news portals) and found that the last time Manchester United played a lower league team was in January 2006. Our superior investigative work also uncovered the fact that Manchester United have played lower league opposition only 7 times in the last TEN seasons, out of which only 2 were at home.

At the same time, Chelsea played 7 HOME games against lower league opposition in the last 3 seasons, while Liverpool were given byes in all their FA Cup matches this season, but still managed to draw against the Townsfolk of Luton and conceeded two goals against a bunch of taxi drivers. HBBN highly anticipates the game against Barney and Friends FC.

HBBN has nothing else to report except complain about the unFAir Cup and wishes all your teams the worst of luck in the coming games.

January 27, 2008

Havant's Pub Football Nearly Triumphs over Liverpool's Kampung Football

LIVERPOOL: A bunch of part-time football players from Liverpool gave a good account of themselves coming back from a goal down twice to slay the giants of Havant & Waterlooville 5-2 at Anfield yesterday.

Havant and Waterlooville proved that having a long name is the way to go as Liverpool players frequently looked like they were confused as to whether they were playing against Havant or Waterloo; and brambled around like they were playing kampung football. So it was that H&W's expertise in the highly skilled tactics of pub football put them in good stead, giving them the lead against Liverpool's kampung football team twice.

Liverpool's new defender Martin "Skittish" Skrtel scored his first goal for Liverpool at The Kop end... unfortunately it turned out to be a complete bramble. Fortunately for Liverpool, Yogi Bearnayoun decided to help himself to yet another Cup-hattrick, endearing himself to Liverpool fans who wish he'd score more of them in league matches instead.

Later, Dirk "Headless" Kuyt came on the pitch to once more prove the theory that you can't head a ball when you have no head, and Peter Crouch showed that the best way to score is when you are in an offside position.

In other news, nothing else even remotely more intersting than Liverpool going behind TWICE to a conference team happened.

January 23, 2008

By Demand: The Versatility of Bramble..... the word... not the player...

As requested by Vincent and Eyeris, we at Hantubola are not only in the business at providing you excellant football er... news... - but also to educate our loyal readers (yes, all six of you). As they say, learning is an ongoing process so today, we will explore further up the ars-I mean-... further up on the word "bramble".

bram - ble [bram-buhl] verb, -bled, - bling

1. To screw up badly (and we do mean badly) in any given situation: He brambled up big time.

2. To be substitued with any word describing any negativity in any way.

Still a bit hazy on the usage? Well the brambleness of bramble does have a tendency to leave people perplexed and speechless at times. Ah saw what I did? I gave you an example of the usage within my prose.

Perhaps its best if I showed you more examples on how to use bramble. The first three was discussed in an earlier lesson: -

1)I thought I scored a goal, but then I realised I brambled it into my own net.

2) The coach was mighty pissed, as the defender had been brambling the past thirty games in a row.

3) Owen missed another sitter from 2 yards out. Needless to say, he made a bramble out of the situation.

4) (In commentary) "Fabregas puts in a cross, the keeper comes out and flaps at it! Adebayor with an open goalllll... OH NO!! He brambled at the open goal!!


Ah, but use of bramble is not only confined to football lingo. Its versatiliy means that it can be used in everyday language. Some examples:-

1 )To describe one's ample prosterior: -
My arse is soooo bramble. (As lily pointed out rightfully)

2) To describe one's actions: -
The brambility of Bush's decision to run for a third campaign shows what a big bramble he is.

3) When ticking of a subordinate
Your brambling has caused the company millions. I have never seen such brambility in my life!!

4) To describe an embarassing situation
I was so nervous on my first date that I brambled my pants.

5) To describe a person
After failing his undang-undang road test for the 37th time, he is confirmed a brambler.

Well that's all for today's lesson. Do share with us some more examples where you can bramble up the English language by using the word bramble.

Now bramble off!!

January 22, 2008

today's media quote

From today's Fiver:

There was a time not so long ago when Liverpool's fans told anyone who'd listen that "you can't buy [insert number between one and 117] years of tradition". Now they're waiting anxiously for it to go up for sale.
One may not be able to buy the title, but one can certainly buy history, eh? For a cut price of less than £250 million. And sell it on for a profit one year later. LOL

January 21, 2008

Fucking A-ss

Remember THIS?:

Well, last night's Everton win at Wigan only reinforces my belief that Titus Bramble really IS out to get Liverpool. especially since he not only GIFTED Andy Johnson a goal by deciding to sit down and take a rest instead of clearing the ball, but even let johnson use his dumbass "WTF is that supposed to mean" goal celebration.

Keegan should buy Titus back. Like Saturday Night Live after Jim Carrey left, Newcastle Comedy Club just ain't the same without Bramble....

January 17, 2008

Mighty Mouse is Back

Kevin Keegan is back... Third time lucky? Hard to say...

But at least we would have his interesting quotes to look forward to.

- It's like a toaster, the ref's shirt pocket. Every time there's a tackle, up pops a yellow card.

- They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that.

- The ref was vertically 15 yards away.

- I don't think there's anyone bigger or smaller than Maradona.

- England can end the millenium as it started - as the greatest football nation in the world. (Hahahahaha!)

- You can't do better than go away from home and get a draw... (Huh?)

- He can't speak Turkey, but you can tell he's delighted.

- There'll be no siestas in Madrid tonight.

- Using his strength. And that is his strength, his strength.

- I'm not disappointed - just disappointed.

- The tide is very much in our court now.

- That would have been a goal if it wasn't saved.

- Argentina won't be at Euro 2000 because they're from South America.

- Goalkeepers aren't born today until they're in their late twenties or thirties.

- Despite his white boots, he has real pace...

- We deserved to win this game after hammering them 0-0 in the first half.

January 16, 2008

The Secret Diary of Mike Ashley, the CarToon Chairman

May 2007
That Russian git Roman has been making fun of me over at the billionaire's club. Said he's got a lot more dates now that he owns that Blue shirt football club. I must get one myself too. Hmm, that black and white shirt team up North says they're a BIG CLUB. I like BIG CLUBS. I wanted to buy that Blue one in Liverpool but someone once said they are a SMALL CLUB. I don't like SMALL CLUBS.

June 2007
YAY! I have my own football club! Got big stadium too! But that manager calls himself BIG Sam. I don't like BIG people. Nothing should be BIGGER than me and my BIG club.

November 2007
Went to watch this Derby game with all the fans. Donno why they call it a derby when we were playing Sunderland, and not Derby. All the fans keep telling me that they are a BIG club and BIG Sa is not good enough. I think I'll buy them beer.

December 2007
Haiyor jialat! Bad pubilcity! That BIG Sam guy go and buy criminal also I donno! This Barton guy must go, and must get rid of this BIG Sam also already! Why he buy this sort of player lar? He should go and buy that Bramble guy from Wigan. I saw him play that day not bad what!

9 January 2008
I got rid of that BIG Sam guy. The fella make us lose so many games! Against Derby also can lose! Must go look for new Manager now. But no hurry. I'm sure without that BIG Sam we can BEAT that Manchester team. eh, are we playing the blue one or the red one?

12 January 2008
CIBAI! SIX NIL! Must find new manager fast fast.

13 January
Still thinking about who to hire. Wanted to hire that ugly guy from Portsmouth, but he dowan, say Newcastle too cold. Wanted to hire that Alan guy because all the fans asked me to, but he also too BIG for my liking. Wanted to hire that Kevin guy also, but he also dowan. Then that shorty Owen fella mentioned beforethat this Gerard Holey guy quite good, won FIVE trophies ok? So I ask him, he also dowan. Haiyor, why nobody want to come here? I pay them a lot of money also dowan!

15 January
I got brilliant idea! That French guy Didi Dekamp or something manage Juventus before right? And Juventus got wear Black And White Jersey like us also right? So I think I'll go ask this Didi guy to come and manage us! He sure want wan! Black And White mar! Familiar surroundings! Brilliant!

16 January
Basket, that Didi also dowan.

January 13, 2008

Doing a Shebby

You can bookmark this post. I'm going to do a Shebby and make a prediction:

In three years' time, Al-Liferbul Footybola Club will be playing all their home matches at the RBS Arena.

That's it. That's my prediction. Of course, the spanking new RBS Arena might still end up being named Maktoum Stadium. Or DIC Superdome.

"This is RBS Arena"

Isn't it so much fun doing a Shebby? Of course, I wouldn't want to actually do Shebby. Bugger damned hairy.

shot of the week

Juliano Belleti's goal against Totty Hotshit is definitely the shot of the week.

Photo stolen from BBC Sport

The photo makes it look as if a Hotshit defender was thrown back from the sheer force of the shot. Ledley King looks like he shat his pants too.

In other news, the gooners and scousers failed to deliver on what some of their fans reckoned to be "guaranteed wins". Mwahahahahahah. Padan muka.

Just before the late kick-off match, the English FA announced a temporary rule change: since Newcastle are so hopeless this season and since they don't even have a manager right now, NUFC will start all matches with a headstart of 7 goals. To give them chance. Until they find themselves a new manager.

Under the temporary rule change, it looks like ManYoo actually lost their match 7-6. Tsk tsk tsk. Kesiaaaaaaannn dia...

January 11, 2008

Say No To Harry

Big SAM's gone....

All the best.

I just want to say this.





Anyone but that wrinkly albino prune.

Even Shabby Singh would be preferred.


January 09, 2008


What this is? Jamie Yeo on the cover of FHM Singapore? And what are THOSE doing there?

What do you reckon - KFC diet, a bit of nip/tuck or Adobe Photoshop CS?

Create polls and vote for free. dPolls.com

January 07, 2008

'Miserly' Liverpool Redeem Themselves by Inviting Luton to Anfield

LUTON: Stung by accusations that they were 'stingy' and 'miserly' for refusing to donate two weeks of Stevie G's pocket money from their share of the FA Cup money to Luton Town, Liverpool decided to redeem themselves by inviting the poor club back to Anfield to earn some more money.

As a result, Liverpool played like shit on purpose during the match so that Luton could get a draw, and even when Crouch decided to be more selfish and grab a goal for himself, Riise stuck to the plan and gave Luton an own goal three minutes later.

Rumours that Liverpool were planning to leave Dickless "Headless Chicken" Kuyt and Grampa "Slowpoke" Hyypia behind at Luton so that the cash-strapped club could sell them for any price they wanted were unfounded at press time.

January 04, 2008

And what do we have here...

"Isn't this how Gaban used to change to... Gaban?"

"Oh lookie! I even got me (second) favourite squad number!"

January 03, 2008

bloody bramble

Laugh it up, fuckers.
I'm getting sick of Titus Bramble.
fucker has some kind of vendetta against me,
trying to get back at me for laughing at him all this time.
Oh, and someone PLEASE tell Rafa that Kewell is utter bollocks and to sell him the first chance he gets.

photo of the day

A for... ?

You know a player doesn't score very often when you can't really figure out his goal celebration. But I'm sure everyone agrees that the fact Titus Bramble actually scored a goal is much more amazing than whatever goal celebration he comes up with. Except perhaps for Liverpool fans.


Photo of the day was stolen from the BBC website.

All over the news!

Something you never thought you would see on Hantu Bola...

Or FOOTBALL365, for that matter!!!

January 02, 2008


Can somebody tell me what this is supposed to mean?