How does that song go again?

Oh, right...

GLORY GLORY BARCELOOOONA!
GLORY GLORY BARCELONNNNA!
GLOOORY GLORY BARCELOOOONA!
When the Catalans go marching in!

Huh? Waddaya MEAN that ain't the way it's supposed to be?

Terrorist attack in Liverpool

Liverpool, April 9 - 11 men wearing Blue t-shirts and shorts were reported to have been seen terrorising 11 men in red shirts at Anfield stadium last night, and have been arrested on the charge of terrorism and child abuse. Their mastermind, Mr Guus Hiddink is still at large.

It is believed that this ghastly act was funded by the Russians in trying to impose the power of the Red Army upon the Western world. Ironically, the men carrying out these attacks on behalf of the Russian Red Army (not to be confused with the Liverpool and Manchester affiliations) were dressed in blue.

Police have identified the 11 men involved in the attack late last night:

Mr Petr Cech
Mr Branislav Ivanovic
Mr Ashley Cole
Mr John Terry
Mr Alex
Mr Michael Essien
Mr Michael Ballack
Mr Florent Malouda
Mr Salomon Kalou
Mr Didier Drogba

Earlier reports that former tennis world number 1 and part time supermodel, Ana Ivanovic was one of the chief culprits in this cowardly attack has been ruled out as false, and nothing more than a mere fabrication by online bloggers. The real culprit was identified as Mr Branislav Ivanovic, although nothing much else is known about him at present time. Police are still trying to figure out how such an unknown character managed to cripple a foolproof Zonal Marking system.

Local gangster and playground bully, Steve Gerrard was also reported to have suffered a groin injury after the attacks. Rumours that the injury was caused when one of the terrorists, a big and burly African gave him an atomic wedgie with his leopard print underwear still remain as an unsubstantiated claim.

More reports and reactions to follow....



*idea shameless copied from some bloke on FB

Forget Carlsberg. Drink Belgian Beer.

HOEGAARDEN LAND: Liverpool's season is now over, according to esteemed football pundits, as they demonstrated how NOT to lose a game even when there is a penalty awarded against you.

In a land where most of the local beers are much better than Carlsberg, captain Steven Gerrard managed to inspire the team to play like the bench he was sitting on, and was so inspiring that most of the players on the pitch played like a kaki bangku in a kampung football paddy field.

In fact, the game was so exciting overall that I can't even find anymore words to describe it. So I shan't.

In other news, Steve Mclaren made an impressive debut as manager of Twente, continuing his fine England managerial form by losing only 2-0 to Arsenal even without using his umbrella.

more moscow pictures!

Because I have slow friends, I just got this in the mail today...

CHAMPEONES!

In no particular order:

1) Adrenaline is keeping me awake. I am going to work in 1 hours' time with only 2 hours of sleep under my belt. I contemplated calling in sick, but I am too much of a responsible worker to do that. :P

2) Ronaldo PWNed Essien's ass in the first half.

3) And then went to sleep for the rest of the game.

4) Both players whom the neutrals hate missed their penalty. Actually, make that all three. Le Sulk now has a good reason to sulk.

5) Awwwwwwww, look at hardman JT cry!

6) Drogba slaps like a schoolgirl!

7) Chelsea are scary next season now that they have perfected the art of DEFLECTION. Now they can even score from a double pinball.

8) In 1999, Bayern Munich hit the bar AND the post too.

9) United had the better chances but didn't take them.

10) It is beyond my understanding how a legend with 700 and whatever appearances still has not learnt how to use his right foot and makes impossible shots with his left.

11) Nemanja Vidic. Man of the match. The one and only hardman (who doesn't cry like a baby).

12) Quote of the day from Andy Gray: It's approaching added time. I call it Hero Time!

13) Based on TigerJoe's last few smses, he doesn't sound too happy.

Bye bye, more taunting later they publish pictures.

picture of the day

Monsieur Henry...why so serious?

Story of the day:

Old, washed up Mr Reliable scores a screamer for a big-game bottler team against a team of superstars which includes an overhyped Argie who has a lot of fancy tricks and flicks just like a super awesome Portugese who on their day can cause havoc, but otherwise perform magic shows that come to naught.

At least the game was entertaining.

Unlike the 'shit on a stick' on show tonight.

Liverpool Knocked out of UEFA Cup!!!!!

SOMEWHERE ON THE EUROPEAN CONTINENT: Liverpool failed miserably in their bid to add another UEFA Cup to their more-than-Men.United's collection of European trophies, as Marseille determination to lose 4-0 at home shone through, meaning that the French club qualifies for the UEFA Cup knockout rounds, leaving Liverpool to pick up the scraps in the Champion's League last 16 instead.

So badly did Marseille want to qualify for the UEFA Cup that they even let Steven "useless penalty taker" Gerrard a second chance to poke home the rebound after he'd predictably missed it the first time. They then let Nando Peri-peri Torres stretch his goals-scored lead over a certain Chelski player, and then to make sure that people knew they were LETTING Liverpool win, they even let Dirk "Headless" Kuyt score from open play, and then let Babel scored his usual late goal to wrap it all up.

Rumours that Djibril Cisse went to the Liverpool dressing room at half-time to look for his leopard-print undies in Stevie G's bags were unfounded.

Next up, the Anfield club will be playing a certain ugly team of gay cheaters at home this weekend.