Suckers United, Part 2

Michael Carrick.

18.6 million pounds from Tottenham Hotspur (who made an almost 16 million pound profit.)

Injured within 14 minutes of his second game for Suckers United.

CARRICK INJURED AS UNITED WIN

On only his second appearance for the club since completing an £18.6million move from Tottenham, Carrick lasted just 14 minutes before being helped off after sustaining what seemed to be an injury to his left ankle.


Manure is really getting a head start on everyone in terms of red cards and injuries huh?

Not only that, they're already beating Chelsea!


Red Devils kick out the Blues

It was a rare victory for Manchester United over Chelsea when the Tourism Ministry dumped the Blues to sign a sponsorship deal with the Red Devils.


I like the 'rare victory' in the paragraph. Good touch, that. hehe.

so, apparently the Minister of Tourism (who CLAIMS to be a Gooner), wants to 'ride on MU's popularity to promote Malaysia'.

Well, there goes our tourism industry then....

The FIFA Get-Rich Scheme

Free World Cup tickets for the poor: Fifa's plan to fill seats in South Africa

What FIFA hope will happen:

Poor people in South Africa will receive free or very cheap tickets to World Cup matches when the tournament is held there in 2010. Fifa, football's world governing body, is drawing up plans to ensure that ordinary people can experience at first hand an event that many could otherwise not afford to attend.

'We are talking about either giving away some tickets to the local population, which could come from our sponsors' allocation of seats, or having very, very cheap prices for South Africans. Something along these lines will definitely happen,' said a Fifa official. 'We are determined to find ways of ensuring that the host population are not excluded from this huge event on their doorsteps.'

What will actually happen:
A sudden increase in black market tickets will see a flood of rich Africans and Europeans fill the seats of the stadium, while the poor South Africans, now flush with cash, will buy themselves a pretty good TV set to watch the matches with friends and family.

Everybody wins?

a historical game

I read this and it reaffirmed something I keep telling everybody - if there is one game that rates as the turning point in Premier League history, it is one that is under-rated and one nobody ever mentions.

2002/2003

Last weekend of the season. Manyoo had already sewn up the title the previous week. All eyes were on the game between Chelsea and Liverpool. They were both equal on points, although Chelsea had a superior goal difference.

The prize?

At least £10 million - because the winner would finish 4th and get to into the qualifying rounds of the champions league.

Liverpool took the early lead but Chelsea were leading 2-1 at half time. Liverpool needed to win. They needed to push up and try to score two goals. Unfortunately, Gerrard Houllier decided it was best to play football in their own half - something they had been doing all season long. Liverpool lost the game and the Champions League spot. It seemed as if the UEFA Cup wasn't that bad because they had been playing badly all season.

A few weeks later, a certain Russian billionaire bought over Chelsea and he would change the game forever. When asked, "Why Chelsea?", he replied that it was a buy that made the most sense. They weren't a mega team which would have cost him a bomb, yet they weren't a small club either. More importantly though, they were in the Champions League the following season which guaranteed some instant revenue.

He said: "I'm not going to kid you. The club are in severe financial difficulty.

"In fact, we have reached a point of financial crisis. In order to ensure that Chelsea FC will still exist next season you have to make the Champions League. In short, if you fail to beat Liverpool then the club will go out of business."

Claudio Ranieri obviously knew what was going on behind the scenes but wanted us focused on football.

We were determined to get the win and thankfully we won 2-1. But I look back now and wonder what would have happened had we lost.

*Excerpt of Fat Frank's biography*

I always wondered too - what would have happened if Liverpool won that day? Chelsea would have been unattractive. I doubt Roman would have bought Liverpool - too much baggage, too many assets, essentially the same reason Manyoo and Arsenal didn't appeal to him. Next best choice?

Newcastle of course. They finished 3rd that season, you know.

Pre-season friendlies don't matter. I hope.

FIVE FUCKING NIL?????

Against FSV Mainz-wherethehellisthat?

Thank god it's just a pre-season friendly. But still, they'd better get their act together when they meet Maccabi Haifa next week...

Oh well. At least it's better than getting two stupid red cards in a friendly and risk missing two of your best players for the start of the season...

Man, that Roo Roo Rotweiller is really getting psyched up for the new season, and is trying to see red every chance he has eh?

Me thinks he's taking those 'bull-necked' descriptions of him a little TOO seriously...

Two Questions. What are your answers?

Hey guys,

I have two questions for you.

Question 1: The question is from a poll in GoFutsal.com: 'Gofutsal will have a futsal competition to celebrate our 2 year anniversary. Will you join us?'

Question 2: I know this is probably a crazy idea, and I might probably get killed for even suggesting it...... but......

......


.....


WHO SUPPORTS THE IDEA OF ESTABLISHING HANTUBOLA Futsal Club ?
Fyi: Naz had signed on for a mind-boggling 18.6 million pounds.


Well?

fuck that shit

Although some footy fans would never admit to being superstistious, I must say that I am.

That's why I have pre-match rituals.
That's why I try not to knock our opponents too much. At least until after we've played them.
That's why the victory dance has so much passion to it.

Now, though, I have a real concern. A very real concern.

Andriy Shevchenko has just been given the No. 7 Chelsea shirt. Shit. Shitty shitty fuck fuck. That was the one number I was hoping would never be used again. Ever.

The last two players to have worn No. 7 for Chelsea turned out to be complete disappointments; namely Adrian Mutu and Winston Bogarde. The number appears to be jinxed. Hexed. Just plain bad luck.

Now Sheva will have the number on his back. Goddammit.

At this stage, I can only hope that Sheva has the magical talent to reverse the jinx of the No. 7 shirt. I really do hope he does well.

Let us pray, Chelsea fans.

Confirmed Futsal Time

Oklar oklar, let's confirm the place and time for the futsal meet once and for all:

HANTU BOLA FUTSAL KICKABOUT

DATE: 3 August (THURSDAY)
TIME: 8-9 (Spiller, time ok? sudah book kan?)
VENUE: FOOTY FUTSAL, TAMAN MEGAH

Lets all go and see if Five minute man can make it to six minutes....

Why you should go to the HantuBola Kickabout

Ladies, Gentlemen and Scouse Scum,

Allow me to amplify why you should go to the Hantubola Kickabout today (3rd August, Thursday) at Footy Futsal, Taman Megah from 8 to 9pm).

• You can get fit.
• You get to rub shoulders (and more) with the Head Hantus/Hantu Keciks/usual commentators/anybody.
• It's not everyday you get to see Eyeris imitate Frank Lampard (of World Cup fame).
• It's not everyday you get to witness Din (me!) rugby tackle somebody while playing futsal.
• Hey, when was the last time YOU ran?
• If you don't want to play, you can accompany the benchwarmers and witness the awesomeness of those playing on the court.
• Majulah Sukan untuk Negara.
• We are all very hot and sexy.................... Ok, maybe just hot. And sweaty.
• If you don't come, the HantuBola Ghost in the header above will haunt you in your dreams for the rest of your miserable life.

Aiyah, come lah, don't be shy shy lah....

Why can't men say what they mean?

Honestly. It would save a lot of bother, wouldn't it?

I mean, look at that Reyes. He's been pussyfooting, going round and round, beating behind every bloody bush, saying he wants to join a Spanish Club.

Who in their right mind would want to join Real Madriculous at this day and age? Oh..okay. Van Horsey did. Well, he had too, didn't he? All the stables in England are full, it seems.

Reyes means Liverpool, innit?

Okay, okay, go join the Spanish Club. Sheesh.

It's not like there's any shame in wanting to join the greatest club in history,is it? One that has won the Champions League five times. One that buggered West Ham to win the FA Cup. (Oh shut up..think it's so easy to trail back after 2 down? Coming back to from 2 goals down to win is a lot harder than winning, say, 3-0 against Milwall, okay!)

Now, I would have understood the need to be bashful if he wanted to join that American Club which has only managed to get Carrick.

But, c'mon, Liverpool? Just come out and spell it already, will you?

Go on then Rafa.Break the bank.

I reckon Reyes is cute enough to tickle your fancy.

I've supported Liverpool since I was a kid. Really. My parents took me to Toxteth once and I was totally impressed.

pre-season liverpool bash #1

Alritey folks.

Let it be known that Vincent is back and ready to take the piss at Liverpool.....as usual.

The 'bash' in the title doesn't mean the party kinda bash. It is more of the 'let's take a sledgehammer to your head' kinda bash. Since it is well known that there are loads of glory hunters around (Liverpool ones of course), and most of the kids on this blog are Liverpool fans (judging on TigerJoe's Green Fanta allocation and Manyoo flamers) - I thought it would be fitting to start of the bash in that direction.


Jermaine Pennant on joining Liverpool: (link)

"I've dreamt about this since I was a little boy so to actually be here and to be able to wear a Liverpool shirt and play at Anfield is a dream come true. I'm over the moon."

Jermaine Pennant on that night in Istanbul where Andriy Shevchenko cemented his reputation as an overhyped cow trash: (note the term 'we') (link)

"When we went 3-0 down I just went back to my room feeling really disappointed. A bit later I put the match on again and saw it was 3-3. I couldn't believe it and started jumping all over the bed"

There. There.

Is that how you spell G-L-O-R-Y H-U-N-T-E-R??

All hail The Holy Number Nine

Move over and scuttle away back to France, you peroxide-haired whiney pretender, and make way for the true rightful owner of the Sacred Number Nine shirt of Anfield:

All hail The Holy Number Nine.




Why do we worship thee? Please go read Lily.

Kickabouts and Drinkalots

Got a couple of annoucnements here regarding some Hantu Bola meet-ups:

First up, we have the eagerly awaited (by KY most of all) Second Hantu Bola Futsal Meet!
Details:


2nd HANTU BOLA FUTSAL KICKABOUT

Date: Thursday (3rd August)
Time: 8-9pm
Venue: Footy Futsal, Taman Megah, PJ (thanks to 9 for the booking)

------------------------

the second announcement will probably be more to sic6sense and Tigerjoe's liking:


HANTU BOLA CHARITY-NOT-COMMUNITY SHIELD DRINKALOT

Match: LIVERPOOL vs CHELSKI
Date: August 13
Time: 7:30pm onwards
Venue: SOULed Out, Sri Hartamas

As usual, sapa mau pegi either event, please comment fast fast so we know who's coming.

Suckers United

Michael Carrick:


WEST HAM to SPURS = £2.75 million

SPURS to MANURE UNITED STATES = £18.6 million


Can anyone say the word S.U.C.K.E.R.S????


With the money they got from the sale, I reckon Jol will be able to buy at least three good players, AND get Spurs into the Champions' League spot AHEAD of Manure United (but behind Liverpool, of course. heh)

Overused quotes in player transfers

When a player moves to a 'bigger' club, he would say.....

• 'It is a dream come true'....

• 'I have always wanted to come play for this club'....

• 'This is the best club in the world'....

• 'I've supported this club since I was a little boy'....

• 'This club has the best players in the world'....

• 'It has such an illustrious history, this club'....

• 'The manager is the best in the world'....

• 'The fans here are fantastic and are very passionate about football'....

• 'The league is the best in the world'....

Future quotes

• 'The showers are the best in the world'...

• 'The boys here have a fantastic sense of underwear fashion'...

• 'The "mood" in the changing room is "electric"...'

• 'My pet cat likes it here'....

• 'The fans here are the sexiest. Even the females!'...

• 'My parents always wanted me to get more money to buy them more stuff'...

• 'My wife/girlfriend/mistress/granny lover/boyfriend promised me more 'lucky nights"...'.

• 'Benchwarming is a noble profession'.

FINALLY! Man Utd signs a player...

Phew!

You know the saying, better late than never? Well, finally, we Red Devils have something to look forward to this coming season.

Carrick to be confirmed as £18m United buy

Who fancies a bet he will take shirt number 10? ;)

p.s. By the way, the new retro Man Utd kit is damn ugly. Why can't they do something like the one in 1998/1999 season? I'm going to skip buying this season's jersey.