December 31, 2007
KUALA LUMPUR: Karma had a quiet night off as Sven City decided to play like an away team at their own stadium, stealing a goalless draw against Liverpool, proving that it sometimes just doesn't work when you try to avoid karma biting your behind by not saying anything about other teams until your own game is over.
Liverpool were without Grampa Hyypia, but Jamie "The Wall" Carragher proved that you only need one centreback around when you're up against a team that beat some other Manchester team at that very stadium. Dirk "Headless Chicken" Kuyt also proved that you really can't head a ball when you have no head.
In other news, Eyeris decides to annoy Men.United fans AGAIN by pasting more pictures of Alan Curbishley AGAIN:
Accompanied by some of Anton Ferdinand:
And finally, because I'm in a giving mood today, I'll also throw in one picture of Christiano "Kakakakakaka" Ronaldo crying:
This aforementioned communist sat down, pointed to the guy on the screen (who had just missed the penalty) and went..
THAT'S THE WORLD'S BEST PLAYER!
*Cue hint to shut up* But of course, I couldn't resist and asked him...
"Dude, you're a Liverpool fan aren't you?"
"NOOO!! MANCHESTER UNITED!! ROARRRRRRR!!"
December 30, 2007
They can't defend corners.
Christina needs more penalty shooting practice.
The poor Magpies on the other hand...
We were F*CKING robbed!
One of our best performances this season, and we still lost.
Thank you, Mr Useless Linesman.
How would you explain us sucking at controlling possession?
How would you explain us sucking so bad at aerial balls?
How would you explain a penalty miss, by Ronnie of all people?
How would you explain a 3rd successive defeat to the Bloody Hammers?
They are our bogey team I tell youse.
December 27, 2007
CHE 4 - 4 AST
Bloody hell. Draw?! At Stamford Bridge?! And we let in FOUR goals?!?! And got TWO players sent off?! Apa ini?!?!
Cilaka. How come Aston Villa so good one?! How can a team that used to score own goals from nothing hold us to a draw?!
To make matters worse, today's news bulletin from The Guardian doesn't sound so good:
Aiiyyyooooohhhhh... ear surgery?! Of all the things I tell you. Ms Karma must have a real hard-on for Chelsea right now. Cipet.
Holding midfielder Claude Makelele is also out of action for a "few weeks", the club said, after having an ear operation. Second choice goalkeeper Carlo Cudicini is another player on the treatment table.
"It is not easy times but since the first day I was here it has not been easy with all the injured players," Grant said.
It may have been a great result for the Mancurians, but elsewhere in England, LuckyPool FC churned out a fantastic result in their hard fought win over the future Coca Cola Championship winners Derby County. The Rams are in imperious form, chalking up 1 point in their last game against Power Ranger Toon club, Newcastle and so nearly won another massive point until StevieMe received a magnificent pass from Derby defender James McEverly inside the 6 yard box. Witnesses said Mr McEverly later threw a fit in the box after realising his stupidity.
Elsewhere, in the boring game of hockey, Chelsea were held 4-4 by Aston Villa. Despite the referee mistaking his red-cards for Christmas cards and showing 3 players the door, there was minimal on-field protest. Suspicions that this was due to John Terry not being on the pitch were confirmed as it turned out that he really wasn't on the pitch. Other shocking events at the game include Fat Frank Lampy being carried off injured while the best goalkeeper in the world (konon) and the world's most expensive flop striker (betul) decided to swap their form book just for the heck of it.
In other games, Micheal Owen's team played shite. And lost. Again. Phil Neville showed during this Christmas season that miracles do happen as he scored from 35 yards out in the Blue Scousers' win over Bolton. Totenham Hotshit beat Full of Ham (should be turkey ham) 5-1.
Arsenal's kids could not beat Portsmouth and had to settle for a 0-0 draw. Reports that the children's downbeat performance was due to them staying up till 12 am to wait for Santa to deliver their presents the previos day was unconfirmed as other sources reported their draw was due to the kids' excitement of opening their presents on Boxing Day morning. Other reports that Manuel Almunia gave Jens Lehmann a pacifier was also dismissed as Mad Jens was deemed too old to receive presents.
December 26, 2007
December 24, 2007
December 21, 2007
I'm going to keep this post really short, and just do a Shebby by predicting the aggregate results. LOL
Celtic 2 - 1 Barcelona (Home win in Glasgow, draw at Nou Camp)
Lyon 1 - 3 ManYoo (Home wins in both legs)
Schalke 04 0 - 1 FC Porto (a bore draw and a home win in the return leg)
Liverpool 0 - 2 inter Milan (1-0 to Inter in both legs)
Roma 2 - 3 Real Madrid (Robben gets the penalty that wins the tie at Bernabeu LOL)
Arsenal 0 - 6 AC Milan (3-0, 3-0, Karma gonna getchew Gunners!)
Fenerbahce 1 - 4 Sevilla (The Turks get a goal in Istanbul, but are well short)
and last but certainly not least...
Olympiakos 0 - 8 Chelsea
December 17, 2007
December 16, 2007
Conversation of the day:
Andrew Lecci: Half-time score is Liverpool NIL, Manchester United ONE. Shebby reckons the Liverpool defending was woeful...
Shebby: No, the Liverpool defending was RUBBISH! Absolutely rubbish.
Paul Masefield: *giggles like a girl*
Scouse karma lesson of the day:
Think very funny to vote Van der Sar as Man of the Match issit? HAHA padan muka!
Also, my number 8 is better than your number 8. Anderson PWNed Gerrard..Huhuhuh...
But don't mind me. I need to get back to my victory dance...
Oi, sudah lapan belas tahun la...
December 13, 2007
December 12, 2007
SOMEWHERE ON THE EUROPEAN CONTINENT: Liverpool failed miserably in their bid to add another UEFA Cup to their more-than-Men.United's collection of European trophies, as Marseille determination to lose 4-0 at home shone through, meaning that the French club qualifies for the UEFA Cup knockout rounds, leaving Liverpool to pick up the scraps in the Champion's League last 16 instead.
So badly did Marseille want to qualify for the UEFA Cup that they even let Steven "useless penalty taker" Gerrard a second chance to poke home the rebound after he'd predictably missed it the first time. They then let Nando Peri-peri Torres stretch his goals-scored lead over a certain Chelski player, and then to make sure that people knew they were LETTING Liverpool win, they even let Dirk "Headless" Kuyt score from open play, and then let Babel scored his usual late goal to wrap it all up.
Rumours that Djibril Cisse went to the Liverpool dressing room at half-time to look for his leopard-print undies in Stevie G's bags were unfounded.
Next up, the Anfield club will be playing a certain ugly team of gay cheaters at home this weekend.
December 11, 2007
December 09, 2007
Surprising events over the weekend:
1) Derby score an away goal
Consider the fact that they have not scored an away goal in the League since 2002, and Manyoo have only conceeded one goal at Old Trafford all season, letting Derby score a goal should count as a failure for the Manyoo defence who have been the best in the league thus far.
2) Arsenal lose!
Actually, the surprising fact wasn't that the Arsenal wheels have come off (where's pretty boy Fab, eh?). The awesome thing is that they lost to Middlesbrough who was inspired by an Arsenal reject, Jeremy Ali-a-a-air. Better still was that all the talk of them being the new 'Invincibles' after just 20 odd games unbeaten was shoved in their faces by a team that hadn't won in 13 games.
3) Shevchenko has a good game
I like saving the best for last. This ranks as the mother of all surprises! Sheva actually remembered how to play football again. But don't worry, you won't need to be surprised for long because he is bound to be crap again next week.
December 07, 2007
How many times do you want me to read these stuff over and over and over and over again??!!!
Here is an IDEA!
How about you guys in the media stop writing all those "Neville Comeback" and "Neville Setback" stories and just publish something when he actually plays for the first team!!!???
December 03, 2007
Bolton striker Nicolas Anelka had the open goal at his mercy after Liverpool keeper Pepet Reina decided to give Jamie "Broken Ribs" Carragher a friendly hug midway through the game, but Liverpool defender Anelka managed to force the Bolton striker Anelka to shoot into the side-netting, endearing him to the Anfield crowd.
At the other end, Liverpool striker Sami "Fastpoke" Hyypia managed to show that he is actually faster than Liverpool defender Sami "Slowpoke" Hyypia by scoring the first goal in the game. Fernando "9-goals-more-than-Malouda" Torres scored the second goal later to set two liverpool fans dreaming of free bottles of whiskeys. Gerrard and Babel added two more goals in the end to set EPL fans wondering how the fuck Men.United lost to this lot.
In other news, John Terry and Luis Boa Morte suck each other's thumbs.
December 02, 2007
MALAYSIA'S campaign in the Sea Games just got tougher when they crashed 3-1 to Vietnam in their opening Group B match at the Surapala Keetha Sathan Stadium yesterday.
Oh well, back to watching the EPL for now then....