April 30, 2007

The Psycho is Back

Be afraid.
Be very, very afraid.

Next Season, this scary SOB will be back in the Premiership:

Sunderland and Birmingham Promoted

Sunderland and Birmingham City both secured instant returns to the Premiership yesterday due to Derby County's defeat at Crystal Palace and Sunderland, in the words of their manager Roy Keane, are now intent on making "a mark" in the top division of English football.

I wonder if there's any chance of him leaving a mark like this:

on Ferguson or Mourinho while on the touchline.

April 28, 2007

inevitable post of the week

And fittingly, the Inevitable Post of the Week should have the Inevitable Headline of the Week...


However, the title of 'Ex-player of the Week' is slightly more open a contest. Phil Neville scored a cracker of a goal for Manyoo, but Rooney scoring after being boo-ed for the whole game was pretty funny. But Rooney wins the title because he kisses the Manyoo badge on his shirt in front of the other Blue Blood Scousers.

And if you guys consider the pendulum like nature of both games, you would imagine there were loads of gloating sms-es traded between the fans. A particular sms chat of note would be...

(Everton 1-0 Manyoo, Chelsea 2-1 Bolton)
TigerJoe : keeping my fingers & toes crossed. mayb everton wil gt a 2nd, eh?
Vincent : nvm. we ll still beat you at the bridge.
TigerJoe : i hv a btl of jameson ready 4 dat match. LOL
Vincent : or funnier, chelsea lead by 3 pts goin into the last game. They lose and manyoo win the league on goal difference.
TigerJoe : shudn't underestimat west ham, ms karma might hear u. LOL.

(Everton 2-0 Manyoo, Chelsea 2-2 Bolton)
Vincent : Jom pakat both of us lose the game la. Hahaha!
TigerJoe : dowan. bouhlarouz shud sub w geremi so dat essien cn go 2 RB.

(Full time)
Vincent : Whoops sorry we broke our pakat promise. Come on arsenal!

(Some considerable time later....)
TigerJoe : goddammit!!

Even as worthy as that was for SMS of the week, it can't get better than Eyeris' complaints of:

GREAT. We'll never hear the end of it from u mancs now.

And since I am running out of things to gloat about, I shall close it up with the HantuBola a$hole of the week...

Oh? That would be ME wouldn't it?

From Big Bro with love

3.00pm: SMS from Gary to Phil

Bro, thanks for the heads up. Or rather, the kick up. LOLOLOLOL.

3.01pm SMS from Phil to Gar

*sniffles* Thanks to me, I'm getting some stick here. I need to bail. QUICK.

3.02pm SMS from Gary to Phil

Ok,ok, I'll wait for you at that dark exit at the corner. I brought the Range Rover. We can go down to Bury and I'll treat you to that special brew from the corner mamaque.

3.05pm SMS from Phil to Gary

Thanks bro, u da best.

Morals of the story:
1. Once a Blue, Forever a Devil.
2. Brothers can be separated. Brothers can be enemies. But brothers will always do us a favour when we need it the most. The Neville Brothers are a shining example. ;-)

And Everton did us a favour by going two up and giving the Super Red Devils all they motivation they need to come back and win it 4-2. By playing attractive football again, no less. ;-)

April 27, 2007

Celebrating the small stuff

Manchester Utd 2 - 2 (agg) Liverpool (3 - 4 on penalties)

FA Youth Cup: Liverpool completed back-to-back Youth Cup triumphs after their dramatic shoot-out win.

It may not be the league title, but what the heck. At least we won SOMETHING for now. And I wouldn't even be posting about this if it weren't for the fact that at least ONE Liverpool team managed to beat the Men.United (or rather, in this case, Boys.United).

Besides, if there's something we long-suffering Liverpool fans are good at (the ones that were not yet supporting them in the 80's), it's being able to hype up even the smallest, or in this case, youngest of achievements.


So, well done, kids.

Now, on to the big stuff please.

April 26, 2007

Not to Worry.

Not to worry.
It's only the first half.
And it's only one goal.
We lost 1-0 at Stamford Bridge in the league last time also, remember?
But we beat them 2-0 at Anfield.
Still can win wan...
As long as we don't play that fucking useless Bozo Lenden in the 2nd leg,
And as long as Xabi gets his passes right.
And Agger should play better at home, I think.
At least we can afford to rest players during the league matches.
Damn, where's that Ghost Goal poacher when you need him?

PS: I forgot how much I actually hate Joe Cole outside of Championship Manager. Someone slap him please.

April 25, 2007

Have A Ball, Alan...

RIP, Alan. '45 - '07.
'Nuff said.
Back to the regular programming.

high on crack

All together now, boys.....

Manyoo 3 - 2 Milan

It's 5 fucking am. I had 2 hours sleep before the game. It's gonna be a long day at the office in the morning. And I can't bloody sleep because of the adrenaline pumping through my veins.


Who gave us a chance? Even I didn't give us a chance. THAT kind of back four? Against Kaka? There was only going to be one winner. Until of course Milan showed that they need Maldini and Gattuso just as much as we need Vidic and Neville.

You can bitch about us Manyoo fans keeping quiet before the game, but you are a fucking dumb sports fan if you don't believe in superstition and LUCK. Because we rode our luck A LOT with Kaka missing TWO awesome chances.

I was watching back our Treble (real, not mickey mouse) DVD the other day, and I was waiting for an opportunity to post this fantastic piece of quote from Sir Fergie (of course back then he was just Fergie). He was being interviewed after THAT FA Cup semi final replay against Arsenal where Giggsy scored that awesome goal. Remember that at that stage the Treble dream was very much ON, like it is now...

Q: This isn't what you needed really - you needed a result - you didn't need extra time, 10 men, a real battle like this..

A: Look, who's to know what's gonna happen in football? It could all blow up in our face at the end of the day but can you forget moments like this? The supporters will be talking about that for years, the players will be talking about that for years - that's what football's about. Trying to reach peaks and climax to a season which we are doing at the moment.


No matter what happens in the next few weeks, can you forget moments like this??

April 24, 2007

Do the math!

PFA EPL team of 2007.

Let’s see what we have here.

Rio Ferdinand – Holds his pee for too long, suck his own dick (score own goal), hence, recurring groin problem

Ryan Giggs – Sneak in a goal when no one’s looking

Paul Scholes – Punches like a girl

Gary Neville – Polishes Fergit’s car and shoes in his spare time

Christina – Cry, dive, cry, dive, cry, dive, cry, dive, cry, dive ad nauseum

The other three: No bloody personality. Cannot sell t-shirts.

Let’s see who else we have here.

Oh yes.

Steven Gerrard: Sensational Skipper, phenomenal long range goals, able to lead his team from 3 down to winning and keeping The Cup of all Cups. On the verge of winning it again. Soon. Very soon.


It takes 8 Manures to equal 1 Gerrard.


Go AC Milan!

We'll patiently wait our turn.

April 23, 2007

Holy Royal Gunners! Beta Sapot Arsenal!!

No photoshopping necessary, the Sun has done it for me...

Arsenal get royal seal of approval from Britain's queen

Pic that'll prolly sell a few hundred more scarves at the Emirates gift shop...

British Airways are not too happy with this pic. Neither are the Spurs fans. Fabregas looks chirpy, though. Wenger's prolly wondering why they dun give knighthood to the French.

April 22, 2007

Open Door, Close Door


Never thought you'd be thanking Kieran Richardson, huh?


Of all the games for Titus Bramble to have a decent game, huh?

Oh, and bye bye Watford. Too bad, so sad. Not that you did much in the Premiership anyway...

April 21, 2007

Sucker Punch, But No Complaints

Tottenham Scum 2 - Arsenal 2

Sucker punched with a last 90+5 minute goal, but no complaints.

Spurs can't even beat a bunch of kids missing their 2 star strikers. In their own blardy backyard. Some more got all their best players on the field like Keane and ... um ... ah ... who the hell cares anyway.

On another note, did you see the number of luminous green raincoat-wearing cops surrounding the section for the Gooners? What, it's not like WE'RE the ones who like to invade the pitch and confront players...

(Lampard doing the capoeira with Spurs fan)

(eh dun complaint on short update ah, see previous post.)

April 20, 2007

Reasons For Not Updating

Contrary to popular belief, we here at Hantu Bola actually have very valid reasons for not updating as regularly as we used to, even though we have ten contributers in total. And no, being too busy at work, too lazy to blog, or too far away from civilisation, did not have anything to do with it.

So here ya go, our reasons for not updating:

The Men.Utd fans' reason for not updating Hantubola:

- Don't want to say anything to jinx the quadraple hopes

The Chelsea fans' reason for not updating Hantubola:
- Saving energy for a victory dance that is FOUR TIMES as big as any ever done before

The Liverpool fans' reason for not updating Hantubola:
- Waiting for the Champions' League semis to start because we couldn't care less about anything else

The Newcastle United fan's reason for not updating Hantubola:
- There was nothing significant to write about until Michael Owen got well

The Arsenal fans' reason for not updating Hantubola:
- Football? What football? As far as we're concern, the only football worth watching now starts next season...

Lily's reason for not updating:
- Nombor Belog yang anda dail, tidak dapat dihubungi...

Kakibangku's reason for not updating:
- Amende update?

April 16, 2007

Nah, here's your update.

Q: What is the differance between Pamela Anderson and the Liverpool goal?
A: Pam's only got two tits in front of her

Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Arsenal Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the Arsenal Fan. Twice.

Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon?
A: A Problem.

Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: An even bigger problem.

Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: Problem solved

Sir Alex is queuing in his local building society, when a gunman bursts in through the door demanding money. Ferguson attempts to tackle the raider, but gets knocked over...as he falls, his head smashes the counter and Sir Alex is out cold. The robber escapes and the cashier tries to revive Ferguson. After a few minutes he comes round and looks bewildered. His first words are "Where the hell am I?". The Cashier replies: "don't worry, its ok, you're in the Nationwide." Ferguson replies, "F**k me, is it May already?"

Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an intelligent Liverpool supporter and an old drunk are walking down the street together when simultaneously they each spot a fifty quid note. Who gets it?
A: The old drunk, of course - the other 3 are mythical creatures.

Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan that does well on an IQ test?
A: A cheat.

Every time Big Roger attends a Chelsea game he books 2 seats.One to sit in, the other to throw when the fightin starts.

Q: What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?
A: God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson.

Q: What do you get if you cross a Monkey with a Liverpudlian?
A: Nothing. The monkeys are far too clever to screw a Liverpudlian.

Q. "What does a 3 pin plug and Arsenal Football Club have in common?"
A. "They're both useless in Europe"

Q: Why did Chelsea go on the stock exchange?
A: To prove that crap can float.

Alex Ferguson is curious how Arsenal reached the double last year, so he decides on a visit to London to see how Arsene Wenger coaches his team. After one day he is not really impressed by the training practices, so he asks Wenger how he gets his players so sharp. 'Well it is simple. I sometimes ask my players a difficult question, and that way they stay really sharp mentally'. Of course Fergie wants an example, so Wenger asks Bergkamp to come over to the sidelines. He asks: 'Dennis, he is not your brother, but still he is your father's son. Who is he?' 'That is not difficult', Dennis answers immediately, 'Of course that is me'. 'You see? That's the way you keep them sharp', Wenger says to Fergie. Ferguson, who wants to win the double also, decides to bring this into Manchester United's practice the next day. He calls David Beckham over to the sidelines. 'David, I have a question for you', he says, 'He is not your brother, but still he is your father's son, who is he?' 'My God, Coach', is the Spice Boy's reply, 'That is a tough one to answer, can I sleep on that one night, and why do you ask me these questions?' Fergie explains it has to do with some continental coaching trick and agrees with the one night postponement. So that night Beckham decides to call Jaap Stam. He has played on the continent, maybe he knows something about these continental coaching methods. 'Jaap, maybe you know the answer to this question, he is not your brother, but still he is your father's son. Who is he?' 'That is easy, that is me!', says Jaap Stam. So the next day David walks full of confidence to Ferguson. Fergie asks: 'David, do you know the answer to my question now?'. 'Yes it was actually very easy', he says, 'Is it Jaap Stam?' Ferguson answers: 'No of course not you stupid b*****d. It's Dennis Bergkamp.

Lesson learnt for today: Creativity is sometimes hard to come by, that's why updates take longer than usual. Sekian, terima kasih.

p.s. I didn't create these jokes. Google helped me get some.

April 12, 2007

What's AC Milan Doing in the English FA Cup?

Apparently, some of the Big clubs in Europe are planning a breakaway Super League.

Well, I reckon that clubs like Liverpool, Men.United and Chelski (okok, maybe Arsenal too) don't really need a Super League. Because judging from the Champion's League Semi-final line-up, they've already got one.

It's called the English FA Cup.

Who needs a Super League, eh? Just allow a few token European clubs into the FA Cup, let them get kicked about by the likes of Plymouth and Southend to soften them up for the crunch matches first. Then I reckon the scorelines in the quarter-finals would be at least 14-1, and the semis will be full of English teams again.

Heck, even the Scottish teams can join in!

On another note, good thing it's no longer a round robin format at this stage of the competition, or the AC Milan players would have spent so much time in England that they'd have to take up permanent residentship.

April 11, 2007


Tell me the truth, alright?

You fellas are all jealous, innit? None of your teams can play like that. Arsenal can but they never kick it off. If there was ever a time you had to watch the delayed replay of a football game, or buy the DVD of a game, this is it. That bloody DVD would probably be used in football training schools all around the world to teach kids the effectiveness of one-touch football.

Tell you what.

You Scousers can by some fluke shit luck win the Champions League this season. Our injuries might still haunt us and Chelsea may even win the Quadruple. But none of you can delube yourselves to ever think that you could play such fucking awesome football.

Yes, Kieren Richardson is still a dick. His 20 minute cameo was so poor you could be forgiven for thinking he was a Roma player. But I TOLD YOU PEOPLE...Darren Fletcher is bloody okay isn't he? And the silly British press has finally realised that Micheal Carrick is awesome and has been playing like this the whole season.

The problem is that Liverpool will continue to play rubbish football, but somehow find it able to redeem themselves by doing well in some cup competition with some one-off awesome performance. Chelsea is like The Terminator. They get the job done but mostly they do it ugly as hell while the T1000 of Manyoo actually has some finese and style.

But enough about me. Enough about Manyoo.

I shall leave the comments box open for you people to at least have the decency to admit that that was the best football you have watched all year.....since Argentina destroyed Serbia & Montenegro.

Come on. Don't be shy. I KNOW you think Manyoo is awesome....It wouldn't hurt to admit it, you know..

April 10, 2007

Accomodating Pompey

Portsmouth gets my vote for most accomodating team of the week.

First, they beat the team at the top of the table 2-1, making it interesting for the rest of the world (especially the ABUs) by throwing the title race open.

Then two days later, they lose to the team at the BOTTOM of the table 4-2 giving Watford a friendly but frankly inconsequential boost and making the relegation fight even more interesting.

Watford hammer Pompey

(David James accomodates some Watford players by letting them score four times with him)

Not a bad week's work, Harry.

Now, do us a favour - roll over and die when Liverpool visit you on the 28th.

April 08, 2007

Bloody Hell.

And so something didn't go too well for the Red Devils. Not only did they lose to Pompey yesterday, they needed Rio Ferdinand to score for them. While wearing the captain's armband. In the closing minutes of the game. Pompey. It was just Pompey!

Passing was hopeless. Midfield was woeful. I expected more from the squad, to be honest. But I expected even more from Sir Alex, who once again, going against conventional wisdom, let bloody bloody bloody Kieran Richardson start. The good-for-nothing piece of trash.

What the fog man? What the fog?

And oh, I was so happy when a few weeks back I learnt Fletcher got injured and the world was told he might be out for the whole season. And there he was in the midfield this week. Absolute Bollocks.

Does the word "possession" mean anything to you?

Hampeh betul. Two away defeats in a week. And by the same scoreline too.

Nevertheless, I will remain stubbornly optimistic; we are going to go all out for the title! I would be even more optimistic if I don't see Richardson and Fletcher from this point on.....

p.s. It seems news of West Ham beating the Arse at the Emirates was bigger than Manyoo's defeat to Portsmouth. Great, how are you Gooners gonna beat Chelsea for us now? We didn't let you guys do the double over us for nothing you know.

April 02, 2007

What's this then?

I googled John Arnie Riise for fun today and guess what?

2nd link:
HANTU BOLA: Petaling Street Hooligans.
Abou Diaby Frank Lampard Emmanuel Eboue Substitutes: Wayne Rooney Kieran Dyer Lee Bowyer Martin Keown John Arnie Riise. posted by lilyliverbird at 11:01 PM ...

5th link:
Lily the Liverbird: Her Bitch Pitch: August 2006.
John Arnie Riise. Another trooper. Takes forever to wipe the ball with his jersey. Used to take off his jersey when he scores. Stripped off his shorts too ...

I hope he googles himself and finds me :D Ought to be good for a free jersey or two..heh.

Hang on...bugger's bankrupt innit? Bummer.

April 01, 2007

Letting in a Crouch Hat-trick? Now that's REALLY gotta hurt...

They'd scored 12 goals against us in four matches this season.
They beat us at their home ground in the league.
They knocked us out of the FA Cup at Anfield.
They humiliated us in the Carlinglingus Cup in front of the Kop.

However, since then...

They've have also been knocked out of the FA Cup,
They've lost the Carlinglingus Cup final,
They got kicked out of the Champion's League,
And they lost to Everton in their last match.
And now THIS:

Liverpool 4-1 Arsenal

And to add insult to injury,
They even let Crouch, of all people, score a hat-trick against them.
Now that's REALLY gotta hurt.


PS: Cibai Blackburn. Couldn't hold on to a lead.