April 30, 2006

Vincent can see the future!!!!!

Vincent once boldly predicted that:

Chelsea will lead the table going into the final game of the season

WOW! He got that SOOOO right! Is Vincent actually a seer? A fortune teller? CAn he see the future?

Well, I wouldn't start making those calls to him to ask for 4D numbers just yet, because he made that prediction along with these:

  • Chelsea will drop points either against Bolton or Blackburn. (Bolton 0 - 2 Chelsea. Though true, they just might drop points against Blackburn...)
  • But in... Alan Shearer's final game ever, he will give a footballing lesson to Chelsea's strikers on consistency.(Unfortunately, his final game was two weeks ago...)
  • Manyoo will go to Stamford Bridge and win. (Nuff' said)
But the most damning prediction of all?

I told you we were going to win the league.
(Didn't know we had two Chelsea fans in HB...)

Now, lets see if you can overcome losing that knackered bull-necked granny-necking redneck and win those last two games of yours, because if not, we'll take the second spot of yours, thank you very much.... :D

April 29, 2006

The FAM Chickens

Remember my post about Shebby Singh setting up a MyTeam to play the national football team? Apparently FAM takut malu, and are chickening out by sending another team instead.

I read this from Brand Malaysia:

MyTeam deteriorating into a farce?

Because it is said that the Senior Team (read: First Team) chickened out and FAM is sending their 'selection' to play. A selection is basically a 'party' team, a collection of duds for an exhibition match of no relevance. Is that what the match against MyTeam has become?

Further probing has lead me to the 'rumours' that the actual team that will be fielded against Shebby's MyTeam will be the Malaysian Under-23 team. How did we get this team in the picture when all the HYPE was about MyTeam taking on the Senior National Squad?

Hehe. I guess FAM really ARE as stupid as they look eh? By NOT letting the national team play, it shows that they KNOW their players suck, and are not even confident enough to let them play against a bunch of amateurs coached by a crap pundit. What does THAT tell you about our national football team eh?

HAH! Me thinks that FAM should change that tiger on their logo to that of a chicken instead. And a headless one at that.

April 27, 2006


Click to enlarge.

Arsa vs Barca / Luis vs Mullins

(Image of Barcelona's group hug taken from Soccernet)

Barcelona 0 - 0 Milan (Agg: 1 - 0)

So, it's really gona be Arsa vs Barca. Should be an intriguing final, Henry vs Ronaldinho, Fabregas vs Deco, Eto'o vs er... Adebayor...

And I suppose Dennis Bergkamp's gonna take the train over to Paris eh?


On another note, THIS happened last night as well:

(Image of the EPL Super-lightweight matchup taken from Soccernet)

West Ham 1 - 2 Liverpool
Premiership: Hayden Mullins and Luis Garcia will miss the FA Cup final after being sent off in this dry run. (Guardian Football)

Red-card duo face anxious wait
Hayden Mullins and Luis Garcia are almost certain to miss the FA Cup final after both players were sent off for violent conduct nine minutes from time in Liverpool's Premiership victory over West Ham. (Soccernet)

GREAT. Just what we needed. A player suspended for the final for fighting.

The idiot. He was rested so he can play in the final, and only sent on in the 80th minute. And what does he do? He gets into a boxing match within two minutes....

To tell the truth, I'm not sure if I'm happy or not that Luis Garcia is missing the final. The fella gives the ball away more than Traore (ok, ALMOST more than Traore), tends to dribble too much (like that Manure Crybaby), and misses damn a lot of sitters.

But then again, he also scores damn a lot of important goals for Liverpool (especially in Semi-final matchups with Chelski)...

April 26, 2006

An Evening in Paris...

What a roller coaster week. First i was bummed out on Saturday morning what Spurs stole a point from us. Bummer, bummer, bummer. Then Sunday morning gave a corker or a surprise... Liverpool (bless them) wiped that arrogant smile of Moan-rinho's face...

Well i suppose that prolly one night fans Liverpool, Man U, Arsenal, Fulham, Dag & Reds and everyone else (except Everton of course) were united. As they say, 'You'll never walk alone...'

But this morning was the best of all.

Screw the records and stats. Bring on the last team. No matter, Milan or Barca.

Stade de France. May 17. Kopi O Kau optional.

April 25, 2006

Karma-nd get some!

Fine fine... Karma, or Mr. K as antyyk puts it, is a bitch no less. But what to do. I guess what goes around comes around eh?

The Spurs match aside, I'm afraid karma might bite us in the rear tonight in the form of the keeper, Sebastian Viera. If you recall, we almost signed him until he failed his medical due to a cyst in his hip. Apparently, upon further inspection the cyst was there since birth and did not affect his football at all...

But then again, had we signed Viera, Pak Leman would most probably not be in his current form and the No. 1 for Germany... So, well done, Gary Lewin!

Still, I'm taking no chances. Before anything short of Kelvin Davis happens tonight, here is my offering to karma: -

Sorry la... I cannot take alcohol... At least got choice between sirap limau or bandung...

Karma Bites Back

What did I say about Karma? She is truly a bitch on PMS, isn't she? Even if some people reckon Karma is really male.

Arsene Wenger, after a premier league game in 2006:

"It is whether you think something is fair or unfair. You expect to get the ball back there. If that's the way they want to behave, then that is their responsibility, but I don't agree with that. I don't agree with it and if football goes that way it becomes very petty."

Arsene Wenger, after an FA Cup game in 2003:

"Frankly, I don't think they can demand for us to kick the ball out because there was no free-kick and the action goes on until the ball goes out."

Any Gooners who might have a bone to pick with Karma may take a number and join the queue.

[Quotes stolen from Guardian Unlimited]

April 24, 2006

The name's G. Stevie G.

Gerrard named player of the year

Moneypenny, can you give me a hand...?

It's obvious I've been watching too much Bond, innit?

* Pic sourced from BBC News

My First Hantu Bola SOULed Out Experience

Last Saturday was my first official outing with the Hantu Bola-ers. I was actually quite nervous to attend. I mean .. Liverpool is playing .. and I am not known for being all objective about Liverpool.

Then again, it's not that there's anything that I need to be objective about, is there? I mean, we're like the absolute best right? Heh!

Ok. I will quit with the taunting and the like, we already have Vincent & Some Emo-Commenters who's got that angle covered. I'm just here to post pics.

SO... on with the night. In attendance at SOULed Out were:


Check out the jersey! Damn support woi!

Whole night running away from camera

... and then there was also me la. I was BEHIND the camera. Oh yeah, a bit difficult to take pictures since everyone keeps semi-anonymous blogs. So have to edit out their faces. Want to see how they look like? Come to future Hantu Bola meets lor.


Representing Chelsea was their one-man-strong representative at Hantu Bola .. none other then MR TIGERJOE himself.

Also pakai jersey. Very the power wan.

Not to be confused with princesses he meets gallivanting :P

TigerJoe also brought along a princess for support. Unfortunately, she supports Arsenal.
Dei, of course la, da princess is afraid of clowns le, Joe.


Naz upset cause the gooners drew with Totenham


Looks nothing like Kelvin from Kelvin and Hobbes

It was a fun night. A lot of banter and good-hearted taunting. A lot of cheers. A lot of laughter. A lot of booze. Hehe. I have a video of Tiger's victory dance ... which will be posted once I have the time to edit it. Hehehehehehe.....

Liverpool 2-1 Chelsea

Of course la it was a good night! Toodles!

Jol never be as good as them! (get it? Jol.. You'll...)

So now that is done and dusted (and hopefully you guys saw the highlights, since the Arsenal game was too "insignificant" for you lot), I have to say that Martin Jol is a crappy liar.

Vincent's post insists that managers talk shit most of the time. I couldn't agree more, but at least Moanrinho, Fergie and Wenger pandai cover.

When Wenger "didn't see it", there is no evidence to support him seeing or not seeing it, hence giving him the benefit of the doubt.

In Jol's case, his claims of "not seeing the incident" were refuted by Sky Sports' recording of him screaming "play it!" three times while Carrick had the ball.. Aisey... Tak pandai cover lah lu, botak...

Although I'm not saying that Spurs were obligated to play the ball out, what's disappointing is that it was the manager who instigated the whole run up to the goal and chose to wash his hands clean from it.

So typical Tottenscum.

No doubt, they were the better team that day, but considering they had all the chances to put the game away, it shows their lack of class by resorting to score in that manner to win the game. Oops, I mean, TRY to win the game.

p/s: Doesn't Martin Jol look like the drummer from The Monkees?

April 23, 2006

just wondering

The majority of football fans (yes, you lot included, myself excluded of course) have surely got to be the dumbest people in the world. The aftermath of the game was not that it was a shitty game (it really was) or that Mourinho fucked up his tactics big time. People all seem to be complaining that Mourinho isn't a gracious loser.

Back in those days, you monkeys were complaining about Fergie being ungracious as well with him always insisting added time was insufficient, the pitch was lumpy, the referee was a dingbat and the opposition were enlisting the help of bomohs. And then came Monsiur Wenger who insisted that he never did see the foul and insisted that his team weren't monkeys after they assaulted Van Nistelrooy and also didn't see that his team threw pizza at Sir Red Face.

Is everybody pretending to be stupid or is everybody seriously stupid?

Managers talk shit all the time in front of the press. The all holy Gay Lord Benitez chose to visit Robben in the hospital the last time Chelsea and Liverpool played, even though Liverpool lost because they were shite on that day (just like Chelsea were shite yesterday) and not because Robben got chokeslammed by Reina.

Behind the scenes, in the dressing room or the training ground, these managers (Fergie, Wenger Mourinho) definately acknowledge in front of the players that they probably played badly and need to improve. Hence, they all became champions.

Stuffs they tell the press is no more than bullshit aimed to rile up rival teams and rival fans. Its a no brainer, but interestingly enough, they ALWAYS succeed.

On a sidenote, last nite's HantuBola thingyamingy was AWESOME. It was probably the funniest gathering we ever had mainly because for the first time ever, we had fans from all four big clubs (3 Liverpool, 3 Arsenal, and one each from the clubs that really matter - Manyoo and Chelsea) and we were taunting each other's club non-stop.

Now, one shouldn't misconstrue this as a blogger meet. It is FAR from that. Blogger meets have loads of people running around taking pictures of other people...and then they blog about it. There are no pictures of us awesome people (including 3 hot chickas) here, because we are all allergic to camera flash. If you want to see pictures of bloggers, some other people had a blog meet earlier that day. You can check out those blogs on PPS.

We're off to Cardiff AGAIN!!


Enough said.


It doesn't matter how many times you beat us, or how many goals you score against us, coz we always win the most important match! =p

And that's all that matters!!

I don't care if the first goal was never a free kick.

I don't care if you think that the referee was against you or favouring Liverpool.

I don't care if you beat us 12-0 the last time round, it doesn't matter.

We're going to Cardiff!!! Our second home!!!

These are, of course, my favourite memories of Cardiff!

Oh and apparently Mourinho thinks that if Liverpool get a biased referee in the final we will definitely win it? Well, I don't care what you think. But here's a little something for you!

My Choice

I get asked this a lot:

"Why do you let such an idiotic sport affect your moods and your precious weekends? It's just a sport. Why invest all your energy and passion in this worthless pursuit?"

In most instances, I am too polite to retort. I just smirk and shrug my shoulders, whilst thinking in my mind, "fuck off you dull-witted twat."

In truth, I can't really say what it is that makes me love football so much. I refuse to concede to the bloody Yanks and call it soccer. It's football okay, you dumb cowboys. Back to my ranting. Sure, I have been playing the game since I was a wee lad of 7. But does playing the game all these years actually programme me to 'enjoy and love' the game?

I used to be crazy over a collectible card game - Magic: The Gathering. I spent thousands of ringgit on that game, buying cards, trading, going for competitions. Look what has happened now? The cards are sitting on my bookshelf, gathering dust.

My point is that nothing in this worlds has ever captured my interest so wholly and completely and for soooooo looooooong.

Then, tonight, as I was watching the Toon thrash poor Captain Marvel's team, it hit me.

It really did.

I love football because I choose to. I made a conscious choice to love it. I love the skills, the unpredictability, the passion, the camaraderie. Most of all, I love the beauty of the game.

Football truly is beautiful. It gives us an avenue to escape the harshness and ugliness of human existence. Life is hard, cruel and unpretty. Thank God we have football. Heaven better have pitches up there.

I choose to love football. It's my choice.


Yay! The Toon 3 : Brom 0

April 22, 2006

REMINDER: Hantu Bola Meet TONIGHT!!!!

Just a reminder about the Hantu Bola meet for the Liverpool vs Chelski FA Cup Semis match tonight....

Date: Saturday, 22nd April 2006 (TONIGHT lar!!!!)
Venue: Souled Out, Sri Hartamas (why here again? Corkage cheap mar!)
Kick-Off: Midnight (we'll probably be there slightly earlier...)

Tigerjoe's gonna be there, as well as Vincent, me, Sashi, Scorkes and a lot more! It's probably gonna be the biggest Hantu bola Gathering yet!!! So come one and we watch Liverpool kick Chelski's ass together-gether!!!!

April 19, 2006

chelski's money

Once upon a time, when I was a kid, I was kind of a little scum. I used to even cheat other kids of money. There was also this tall scrawny bloke that I knew in school who had a really bad reputation for nicking other kids stuffs. Of course, nobody had proof that he did actually steal stuffs from the other kids, but somehow, we all knew.

Now, kids have a lot of uses for money, none of them useful. However, you could count on every kid to spend any extra money that they had for some reason or another. Personally, I had different uses for some extra dough. Sometimes, I would save that money for a nice Cornetto from the ice-cream man outside school. Other times, I would buy those crappy Tora-Tora chocolates that came with equally crappy toys. There was once I remember saving some money to pay for one-quater of the Optimus Prime robot that sits on my shelf till today.

I didn't really know that dodgy little scrawny kid from just now even though he was my classmate, but I don't think his spending habits differed from mine. Every kid either saved money for a nice ice-cream or a crappy Tora-tora. Sometimes the Tora-Tora had a great toy hidden in it, but most of the time, they were crappy. I guess it was same with the Cornettos too. They were all expensive, but some flavours like the Strawberry flavour tasted like like sewage waste.

See, the point is, every club spends money. Every club buys their fair share of expensive flops and cheap unknowns that turn into stars. There are also expensive stars and cheap crap. Just like myself and the scrawny kid, clubs have a choice of what they can do with the cash at hand.

But the major bone of contention comes from the source of money. See, I worked for that money. Yes, I cheated some kids along the way, but the money was earned by my blood and sweat. Manyoo can be said to have 'bought' success, true, but the money they accumulated to buy Veron, Rio and Rooney was earned by shrewd marketing built on their previous success. We bought Schmeichel, Cantona, Irwin on bargains and built on that. It took time before Manyoo could afford Andy Cole (for a then-record fee)

On the other hand, like the scrawny kid who stole from other kids, Chelski got their money from the pockets of poor little Russian kids, bankrolled by a sugar daddy who, nobody seems to be able to convict of money laundering (unlike Khordorkovsky, that stupid prick) but everybody knows that he didn't exactly earn his money the clean way. That is why everybody is unhappy at the whole situation.

Manyoo 'bought' success but they made themselves the richest club in the world. Why wouldn't they spend money to buy more players? On the other hand, Chelsea are constantly losing money (1st quater loss of £140 million) and Peter Kenyon's (that prick!) best estimate is that Chelsea would be able to live off their profits by 2010, which is the complete opposite of logic. Empires are built from strength to strength. You start small and slowly work your way up. What Chelsea are doing is putting the cart before the horse, and SUCCEEDING in getting the cart to pull the damn horse.

And that, good folks, is why people are cheesed offed at them.

That said, I shall support Chelsea over Liverpool any day of the week. Partly because I can blame their success on some starving Russian kids.

Yo Real Madrid, buy THESE players instead!

Yo Real,

Since you've tried to take our manager and are trying to steal our captain as well, lemme make things a bit simpler for you and reccomended you some players in Liverpool that you ABSOLUTELY MUST BUY, and are the BEST PLAYERS IN THE WORLD at what they do:

Djimi Traore:
World-class Galactico ability: Losing concentration and tripping over his legs
Why Real should buy him: Is even better than Raul Bravo at losing his concentration and fucking up. Should fit in perfectly in your defence.

Chris Kirkland:
World-class Galactico ability: Breaking toes and fingers, tearing ligaments, straining groins....
Why Real should buy him: For the sole purpose of providing Jonathan Woodgate with some company. They could even share the same hospital bed!

Jerzy Dudek:
World-class Galactico ability: Perfoming brilliantly in one match and screwing up in the next nine
Why Real should buy him: like Real, Dudek can play well one match and fuck up the next nine. This dude is a Galactico in his own right. Has won more Champion's League trophies than Robinho, Woodgate and Gravesan combined.

Peter Crouch:
World-class Galactico ability: Scoring with his neck, impersonating goalposts to confuse opponents
Why Real should buy him: Best slam-dunker in the sport. If he were Chinese, he'd be a Galactico in basketball by now.

Djibril Cisse:
World-class Galactico ability: Messing up his hair, hitting the post
Why Real should buy him: Best player in the world at fucking up his haircuts. Oh wait, I forgot. You don't buy ugly players.

Best of all? We'll sell these pricks to you for cheap!

FA Cup Semi Finals

For once, there will be a Hantu Bola gathering on a Saturday night. Woohoo!

Come on over and watch the FA Cup semis at the palace of cheap corkage and multi-cuisine menu, as Chelsea battle with Liverpool for a place in the final. You know want to. Yes you do.

Date: Saturday, 22nd April 2006
Venue: Souled Out
Kick-Off: Midnight

Will Kewell run like a little girl? Will Terry get his nuts groped by Garcia? Will Cisse be wearing leopard-print undies? Will Lampard score off Hyppia's shin?

All these questions and more will be answered this weekend.

Yes, yes, technically the match will be telecast on Sunday morning; but I'm sure everyone gets the idea, no? Youse might want to keep Saturday 29th April free too, as there might be another Hantu Bola gathering to watch Chelsea vs ManYoo.

I've been told that the guest of honour for this weekend's gathering is a bottle of Chivas. At this rate, we might need to rename Hantu Bola to Mabuk Bola. Teetotalers should not fret though; soft drinks are always available, and nobody will accuse you of being a Tottenham fan if you decide to stay sober.

See you there!

April 18, 2006

I know, I know...

You are all damn fecking sick of pictures of drinks by now, I am sure. However, I have to keep my promise to mister k. Thus, if I have to choose between you or my own mental sanity (which is already suspect), I choose.... Erm.... Me! So, tough. Now run along home and cry to your mama, you big sissy.

one more point, babeh!

Someone reckons Shebby Singh will whack me for the way I swore at the hijos de perras from Tottenham last night. Then again, I doubt Shebby or anyone who saw ManYoo's second goal would blame the ref or anyone other than that idiot leftback from Korea.

All's well that ends well though. Just one more point from three matches will do for us.


[photos taken from BBC Sports and Guardian Unlimited]

April 16, 2006

When PMS and Football Collide

So here I am.

On a Saturday night.

With PMS. AND cramps.

Only to read that Wigan lost to Newcastle. YAY. Somewhere out there, mice are celebrating.
Or something.
Anttyk will be having wet dreams tonight. Go Anttyk!

I have a blooming migrane. From too much sleep and haywire hormones.
Seriously, I'd rather be having wet dreams instead of posting cause I can't go to sleep now wtf.

But look, there a poll. I recognise the poll. It's the same one that Tigerjoe uses to take his hamsap surveys.

Ok, I will VOTE!

Yes. Everyone needs to go far, far away and die.

Hoe Hoe Hoegaarden

Newcastle 3 : Wigan 1

mister k, you are the best!

Apparently, mister k loves his drink, and 3 -1 scorelines. In the Toon's last eight matches, five have resulted in 3 - 1 scorelines, though not all in our favour. I find that rather interesting, no?

I am going to sleep now, with a huge grin on me face. Cheers again mister k! Same deal for the match against the Mackems on Monday.


On another note, here's something interesting I read...

"The worst thing you can call a referee is a cheat. You can call me most other things, but call me a cheat and I'll show you a red card. I might be useless, but I don't cheat." - Graham Poll.

The best referee in England describing himself. Ha ha ha.

April 15, 2006

What does football mean to you?

The best part of being a football fan is often the banter we indulge in with rival fans. Sometimes, we go to great lengths to prove that our club is better than another club. Sometimes, we say things we often don't mean in the course of a heated debate.

But most importantly, we recognise that the only way through which such a complicated relationship exists between all different types of fans stems from our love for the game itself.

What does football mean to you?

For some people, it's a means of escapism. If you support a great club that is winning all the time, it might bring you some temporary measure of happiness.

For some people, it's the only way through which they can be a 'winner'.

For some people, it's nothing more than 22 idiots chasing a ball. A meaningless game.

For some people, it's more than just a game. It's their whole life. They devote their entire existence into proving, strengthening their allegiance to a certain club. What for?

One thing I know for sure is that football is a game that connects many different people from all walks of life together. It is a game which somehow manages to transform 'macho' men into some helpless crybaby. It is a game which makes the simultaneous experience of a whole range of emotions possible. It is a metaphor for life.

Football is also all about luck.

Some teams work their socks off but never seem to win; while winning seems like second nature to some others.

Some people get to spend years and years of their life basking in glory, watching their team play week after week. Some have to go through heartache every season as their team flirts with relegation and promotion one after the other.

Some fans are lucky that nothing ever happens to them whenever they go to a football match. Some others may go to their first football match ... and die.

I know maybe some people don't really care about Hillsborough that much. But I do.

And things like that should never happen.

So if you could, just observe a moment of silence for the 96 people who went to a football match and never came back. Or even those who died in various other football matches - for whatever reason. Those who sacrificed themselves - or were forced to sacrificed themselves - because of their love for football. You might think that they must have been stupid, and therefore deserved death, or you could think they were unlucky, or crazy, or whatever.

But remember that it could very well have been you. It might be you one day...

Sunderland Says Goodbye...

(Image of the gay crybaby from Soccernet.com)

Don't Cry for Me Man United

Don't cry for me Chris Ronaldo....
The truth is we never beat you.
We could only draw games,
And get relegated,
But at least we came here,
And finished goalless...

- Sunderland's farewell, Evita-style

Yes, cry, you deluded gay crybaby, cry.

no difference

A minor setback.

Chelsea will lose to Bolton and Blackburn and the great ManyooTM

We will still win the fucking league.

But never mind all that. This is my post and I can deflect all our problems away by concentrating on other stuffs (very much like what politicians worldwide do actually).

My quote of the week goes to Djibril Cisse:

"Here at Liverpool it's Stevie G who teases me about my clothes. Sometimes I go to the showers, and when I come back he's wearing my clothes. I have funny underwear, like zebra print, so he puts on my underpants and walks around the dressing room" - Djibril Cisse reveals Stevie G is part of the gay club.
I don't know about you guys, but I won't be caught dead wearing another blokes underpants, never mind zebra ones.

And so, a poll would be fitting!

Create polls and vote for free. dPolls.com

April 13, 2006

18-man Malaysian World Cup Team announced

KUALA LUMPUR: The following 18 man team has been announce to represent Malaysia in the upcoming Protong/Perutdua World Kapcai tournament:


Goalkeeper: Yan Lemang

Left Back: Asli Kuli
Right Back: Lilin Tulan

Centreback: Ali Santhok Nestum
Centreback: Yammy KariKai

Left Winger: Wee Seng Teh
Right Winger: Loo Fee Goh

Central Midfield: Makan Balak
Central Midfield: Pelabur Amah

Striker: Wang Loo Ni
Striker: Roti Dahl Dino

Subs: Pita Ceh (keeper), Jawi Alongsoh, Loh Been Ho, Ceh Fab Bagus, Sitiawan Jelak, Jom Terrer, Pak Jusong,

Manager: Lafa Bin Itik
Assistant: Sang Goreng Asam

April 12, 2006

Here We Lyon Again....

Does this sound vaguely familiar to you?

Lyon demand over £23m for United target Diarra

Manchester United have been warned they will have to pay in excess of £23m if they want to prise Mahamadou Diarra away from Lyon as their big summer transfer. - Guardian Unlimited Football

Yer gods, sounds like Essiengate all over again. What odds Chelsea gets dragged into THIS transfer talk in one way or another as well?

It'll be just what we needed, another transfer saga involving a Lyon player with an name that sounds like something that comes out of an Ess....

April 10, 2006

i told you so

I told you we were going to win the league.

I told you Arsenal are getting through the Champions League like Liverpool...by fluke.

I told you Sanderos was not a footballer.

I told you Micheal Owen was a pathetic fuck who cheats his friends (ok, maybe I didn't tell you, but I told some other people once a long time ago)

And now I am telling you this...

Chelsea will drop points either against Bolton or Blackburn.

Manyoo will go to Stamford Bridge and win.

Chelsea will lead the table going into the final game of the season.

But in that game, Alan Shearer's final game ever, he will give a footballing lesson to Chelsea's strikers on consistency.

And in the end, Manyoo fans worldwide will hail Mary Poppins for not going to Manyoo after all.

I was watching Final Score on Sunday morning when I realised something.

You know the Portsmouth logo??

Surely you've seen it before?

yes! yess! yyeesssss!!!

It's 16 minutes into the match. We are one goal down and a man short. What could be the solution?

Try 2 goals either side of half-time. It's the stuff of fooking legends.

Shagging opposition fans does work. Sometimes.


April 09, 2006

mister k, i rove youse

Middlesbrough 1 : Newcastle 2

Hehehehehe. I being the very is so the happy!
Here's your drink. Cheers mister k!

Same deal next week. Hic!


Manure vs The Arse Update (1st Half)

On another note. Kolo Toure should be really proud of himself. He made one of the saves of the season! The shot from Rooney left his boot like an exocet missile. Toure recovered and dove to his right and SAVED THE SHOT! Wahlau... I was laughing like a nutter at the curses and complaints of the Manure fans around me. There was much gnashing of teeth around me. I can imagine Vincent's face now. Cheers Toure! A drink for you too for entertaining me and making me fall off my chair laughing!

Manure vs The Arse Update (2nd Half)

2 Nil. Rooney show. Ho hum... The Arse huffed and puffed, then ran out of steam. Sigh. I'm going to bed.


(Footnote by Eyeris: Wow, this may actually be the first time ever we've had a 'live update'. Soccernet and Professional Football Punditry here we come!)

April 07, 2006

HantuBola Gathering

Are you hoping that the Mancs chase down Chelsea for the title? Are you keen to see Arsenal pip Shebby's favourite team to fourth place in the Premiership? Do you want to see a drunk bald guy try to charm the pants off a waitress (before being told to fook off)?

Then come on over to the HantuBola gathering this weekend!

Date: Sunday, 9th Apr 2006
Venue: Souled Out @ Sri Hartamas, KL
Kick-Off: 11.00 pm

Scousers may want to show up a little bit earlier and watch your team lose at home to the Bolton Veterans. I know I'm going to be there to laugh at the Mancs and Gooners as they kick the green goo out of each other before drawing 1-1.
UPDATE: Due to the coolness of Souled Out management, a bottle of absolut will be attending the gathering. I'm under the impression that a bottle of whisky will also magically appear at the table, if the genie indeed shows up with his bottle. Coke on the rocks is apparently available too.


April 06, 2006

short snippets

I remember sitting in Souled Out a few weeks ago with Tigerjoe watching the Arsenal Liverpool game and we were talking about Manyoo's shirt sponsorship deal. We actually thought they had agreed the deal with an Indonesian online gaming company of some sorts.

Nevertheless, I am happy that the Yanks realised that the corporate image of Manyoo was more important than money. Mansion were offering much much more than AIG, yet due to the branding associated with gambling, I don't think many people would have warmed up to them.

It's been a good week for us. Besides being on the road to winning the league this season, we have also smashed a big apple pie in Peter Kenyon's fat chubby face because our £56.4 million pound over a period of 4 years does nothing but PWNS Chelski's £10 million pound a year deal.

All that aside, it looks like another Mickey Mouse club would be playing in the finals of the Champions League again this year and possibly winning it too. Plenty of similarities too. The captains were supposed to leave a shitty club but now it appears not. Both clubs only have 2 English players that can actually play football and both were playing shit in the league.

The only difference is that Arsenal are actually improving now, whereelse Liverpool were still crap in the league this time last year. Of course, Arsenal remain a non-issue, and a pissy one too for they have played Chelsea two times this season and were in shitty form at that time.

Karma is a stupid fat bitch, so I am going to throw all caution into the wind and quote the famous Alan Hanson "You can't win anything with kids."

Bold prediction of the week : Van Nistelrooy comes off the bench and scores two, while Henry being his usual self, would play like shit in a big game against Manyoo.

We are thinking of a HantuBola thingy on Sunday when Manyoo play the Arse at Old Trafford. It is now officially spring and kickoff is now at 11pm local time so you can be back home by 1am. No excuses of having to work the next morning alright?!

Anybody game?

Location will be confirmed later based on feedback and suggestions....

Email me if you want to come along - bitchinglog@hotmail.com

Italian Job Completed


Italian Job completed, thankfully.

Now bring on Villareal, with their Forlans and Riquelmes.

Then, the big boys of Barca (or Milan) next.

April 04, 2006

Kayu Commenters

I be the telling yous. I is getting very the fed up with peoples who post comments like the ones below here.

“... And don't mock any professional personnels. try taking their place.”

“... their profession is a tough one. They are always under the media spotlight.”

“... not easy for them. Pressure is enormous. Why don’t you try it and see if you can do it, eh?”

I wanting to be the smacking them upside the head for being so the very irritating and self righteous.

Boo hoo hoo. I being the crying tears of sympathy for these suffer, miserable, well paid and extremely rich young men. They is so being the kasihan comparing to the peoples in others countries like Ethiopia and Uganda who are starvings to deaths and has no jobs. The football playing poor sods are tortured, dragged kicking and to be the screaming each week to run around a very is the well manicured pitch to chase a round white (in most cases) ball. If they is the very lucky, they will managing to kick the bola inside a net and then they will be loved by everyone in the land of the England and Bolehland.

Ma chao hai. I also wanting to do that for living. But cannot. Because I having the chair for a leg. In fact both legs. Tiew.

So, what can I dos? Talking abouts this peoples when I eats and drinks at high class roadside haute couture restaurant with my friends! Cannot ah? This country being the free is it not?

When I seeing the doofus Boumsong run around the pitch like a fucking headless chicken, I will call him a cheebye headless chicken. If I watching the match and I seeing the namby pamby boy Beckham failing to score from a penalty spot, I will be calling Mr Posh Spice kayu! I don’t say untruths. I say fact from what I being the observing. Of course, my eyesight is not the perfect. So sometimes got mistake due to optical illusion or maybe some pretty ah lian walk by with damn chio short skirt – distracted a bit.

If these sissy football boys cannot bear being the called names, they should shoving off and play with their Barbie dolls instead.

Lame commenters kayu!

April 03, 2006

optimism, not stupidity

Tigerjoe wagered me two pints of beer that our favourite club would win the league. I politely declined, for I figured he has a great big advantage and only an idiot in my position would take up a wager in that situation. Nevertheless, I SHALL take him up on it if we beat the non-issue and Chelsea lets Teddy Sheringham create history by actually scoring - something that Liverpool strikers would do well to emulate.

But heck, we are pretty unlucky with the non-issue. We seem to be playing them when they are on form, and not their shitty selves. Still, the non-issue aside, it is actually interesting to wonder who the Scousers are actually supporting. For me, I would rather Chelsea win the treble than to see Liverpool lift the Community Shield, and I think that feeling is pretty much mutual.

But less I get a huge apple pie thrown in my face on Sunday by that fat bitch called Karma, I should probably stop mocking other teams and concentrate on other matters. Like, a poll for instance. Polls are fun:

Create polls and vote for free. dPolls.com

Sorry, I just couldn't resist.

not to worry

It's all cool. Cool like The Fonz.

Mancs may reckon that their team will leave it till late to win the league title; but boys and girls, it's just too little too late.

Apparently, the bitch that goes by the name of Karma decided to play an April Fool's prank on Chelsea. It also seemed like she was giving me a super-special lapdance for calling Birmingham City FC the new comedy club.

Fine. I'm sorry. Satisfied now?

April 02, 2006

Chelski or Manure?

We have to admit, that despite the valiant efforts of El Liverpool, Totingham, Bolt-On, The Arse and The Toon, the 05/06 Premiership Season is basically shot. Chelski has basically bought (opps!), I mean, won it... Old Hairdryer and his team could theoretically win it. Chelski has difficult games coming up, so... There is still hope, no matter how dim.
09 April: Chelski vs Hammers
15 April: Bolton vs Chelski
17 April: Chelski vs Better Blue half of Liverpool
22 April: Chelski vs El Liverpool (FA Cup)
29 April: Chelski vs Manure (WOW!)
07 May: Toon vs Chelski
Considering how things went last night on the EPL, I though that it would be interesting to see which team is hated more - The Blues or The Reds.

Create polls and vote for free. dPolls.com

cheers mister k!

Newcastle 3 : Tottenham 1

As promised, mister k, here is your drink! Enjoy!

Same deal next week for the Boro game! Hic!